Typical 3-4-year-old Girl Behavior?

Hello. My best friend's daughter turns 4 this month. I haven't seen the little girl for a while, and I ran into my friend and her daughter today. I was markedly disturbed by the little girl's behavior and have spent the last several hours searching the internet to determine what's typical and what's not so typical.

We be in a restaurant, and I bought the little girl (LG) a cookie. She accepted it, smiled, and needed to be prompted to thank me. I thought this was pretty standard stuff given I'm adjectives but a stranger and haven't seen her in ages. So I sat down to chat next to my friend, who was sitting on the same side of the booth as LG. During our entire conversation, LG fidgeted, babble in a kind of private language, hide her face in the corner of the booth and sort of "swam" between the corner of the booth and her mother's body, gliding back and forth near her face against the back of the booth. She giggled, would look to us to see if we be engaged in what she was doing, and return to it. Again, I thought most of this be pretty typical attention-seeking behavior. The private playing - however sort of odd it may have seemed - is not as surprising as the certainty that LG hardly said a thing. I tried to engage her a couple of times contained by chatting, but she wasn't interested - which was fine. However, when she did answer, my friend had to translate almost everything she said as for girl who's turning 4 in three weeks, LG's speech is still somewhat muddled.

At one point, LG sort of kneel in the booth and began to engage within this odd, repetitive almost performance display of physicality. She would hold her hands out approaching she was feeling rain on her palms, go into spasm three or four times (like a fully-body convulse but almost like a dance move if she'd been standing and not kneeling), and afterwards slap her palms to her face. After she'd hid her face, she'd burrow between the pay for of the booth and her mother's body then emerge to do the same thing over again. And over again. And over again. About the fifth or sixth time, I asked her mother what LG be doing, and her mother just shrugged. LG got increasingly loud, though, and finally, I suggested maybe she enjoy another piece of cookie? At which point she was distracted and quieted down.

The quiet didn't last long, and out of nowhere, she slid support against her mother and hid her face behind my friend's arm. My friend flinched suddenly and said, "Ow," and I asked if LG have bitten her. My friend said she had. I was stunned and actually back I could catch myself, I addressed the little girl and told her biting wasn't acceptable and she shouldn't own bit her mother. Immediately, she slumped back into the corner of the booth and stared at me. She just stared me down, with a big pout on her frontage. I think this is pretty typical behavior for a little girl that knows she did something wrong and be pretty surprised her mother's friend - a virtual stranger - called her on her ****. But almost immediately, she started to smile again, as if it all be a game. And from out of nowhere, she sat up and stuck her tongue out and spat on her mother.

Again, without even thinking, I said, "LG. I construe you know better than to spit on your mother. That's not something we do. Not ever." LG just smiled, and I knew she was trialling her mother - but my friend didn't do anything. I was pretty stunned by that but I started putting all of it together - not really speaking and when she did, it wasn't clear yet; the unconventional play behavior; the odder performance behavior right before the bite, then the spitting . . . it adjectives just seemed like deeply. Now, maybe this is very typical behavior for a 4-year-old girl. I honestly don't know. I have other friends w/4-year-old daughters. Those little girls will chat your lead off - almost incessantly about anything that catches their attention. It's a fun age. If they are looking forward to a birthday carnival (as LG is in 2 days), that's ALL they talk about, almost to the point you'd yearning they would stop. But when you engage them in easy conversation going on for birthday parties, friends, favorite colors, what their plans are for the day, they typically respond. Even if they are a little shy, their social skills are somewhat stronger than LG's seemed to be. And what I've never encountered before is one who capriciously bites their mothers within the middle of a lunch or attempts to spit on them. Most of the other 4-year-old girls I've spent time with are energetic, yes. But they seemed more interested within the external world than their private, internal world or acting out because they didn't appear to have the capacity for expressing boredom, fatigue, or frustration in another mode.

I should have specified that this visit lasted 15 minutes. I didn't expect LG to tolerate an overly long chat - but adjectives this was packed into 15 minutes. Another point is that they had only just come from a single errand and were eating before heading to another errand.
I read the whole thing and I think that that it is a mixture of her trying to draw from attention and being 4. This sounds horrible to even suggest but it's sounds like your friend doesn't spend a lot of time near her one on one. I get that from 1 when you asked what she was doing your friend didn't have an answer my kids do some unusual things but I can always tell you what and why they are doing it, 2 the biting and spitting those are common signs of attention getting the child doesn't receive praised for good and punished for bad. Kids will do anything for attention even bite or spit and by your friend not correcting it (not correcting negative behavior is usually angelic because then the child will think well that didn't gain her attention and not do it Again but I have to be honest if my child bit me I would smack her) and three if a child doesn't get attention from parents like reading or conversation near vocabulary will be poor. I am not saying your friend is a crappy mom just that i think she stipulation to spend more one on one with the child.

I don't think she has Autism so lots people jump to autism when a child acts smaller quantity than normal and you what it's usually because they are closed minded and don't understand their children. I was told my daughter be showing signs of it because she hates everyone and she is afraid of sand and needs to be reminded 100 times in 20 minutes that I'm still contained by the room. I dug deeper and deeper because I got so sick of everyone saying OH you should have her tested for autism when her fine motor skills be way advance along with her oral communication. I found out through research, doctors and a therapist she has a sensory disorder with touch, roughly she is in constant fear of someone touching her with resembling a texture she doesn't like, therefore when we go somewhere she scream and cries and throws things and has resulted to biting, slapping, pulling hair and other things simply because of a sensory disorder.
There are tons of things out there general public are not aware of and every child is different and every parent is different.
I read the whole thing and , there is something wrong next to that child, some of her behavior seems like that of an immature 4 year outdated and some of it is just weird. The child needs to be evaluated. How will she do contained by Kindergarten next year.
Her Mom may already know whats wrong with her and just didn't want to share, she probably know that her daughter can't behave and so breaks up the errands with other things, like lunch. Sometimes as parents we tend to let some things slide so as not to generate a scene. Is it right to do that, no but we do.
Answers:    Okay in that are going to be plenty of people out there that disagree with me but.

I own a nephew that has autism and a niece that is severaly retarded. I also have a nephew and niece that are completly majority. I have twins and for the most part I believe they have no research disabilities. They are only 21 months so things may change.

I don't think that it is tolerant to judge and decide that a child has a problem from one 15 minute conversation.
You said that the mother sit by why the child acted out and you had to be the one that told the child not to bite! Sounds like the child behaves that track because she is allowed to act that way. You mentioned that the child did not talk capably. If the mother is not teaching her child right from wrong and how to behave in public then she is proably not doing much chitchat or reading to the child either. Children learn by example and it sounds like this little girl doesn't own a good example. My son starting biting when he was one year old. he individual did it a few times because I did not allow it to contiune. When he bit (it was usually his sister) I immediately but him in his playpen near no toys for time out. After a few minutes I sat next to the play pen and talked to him steadily about why we don't bite. He does not bit anymore.
Also as far as acting out and not speaking well has the mother have the hearing checked. If the child can't hear well then she will not know how to speak clearly and she might not be able to hear when she is told not to do someting. (Always look at all possibilites)
I don't think that you read aloud if this is normal behavior or not without going to the home and watching the child and mother interact with respectively other over the course of serval months. If the mother is not talking with the child and trying to engage the child and is ignore the child as she did during your conversation with her then her behavior and inability to speak clearly is normal. However if the mother read to the child and trys to displine that child and talks to her then that is not conventional.
And even if the child is found to have a learning disability I want to remind you and the mother not to give up. My nephew have autism but is very high functioning due to my sister's consent attempts to teach him adjectives that he can learn. My niece is not even taught basic manners. She yell, hits, spits, kicks, bits, throws things, etc, just because my brother and sister in ruling gave up on her. She can learn basic things I know she can because she does not do those things when she is next to me. She knows I will put her in time out. Don't give up no business what the outcome.
i am so sorry honey. i stopped reading after the first paragraph because LG is displaying very basic symptoms of autism. she should be checked for it by a skilled professional. rocking back and forth repetitively and aggressive behavior and not anyone able to keep eye contact or a conversation are the top symptoms. here is a link see if you quality the same way and unfortunately you may enjoy to sit with your friend and talk with her. obviously this could also be a mixture of toddler behavior and a mother who knows not how to discipline her kid. but it should be discussed with a professional.
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autis…

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