Mothers: disciplining choices for a toddler?
Disciplining toddlers is a challenge. (Ever heard of shameful twos? They last form about 14 month to. 3 1/2 YEARS!).
Having raised 3 boys and working as an untimely childhood specialist (speech pathologist),I strongly discourage any spanking/swatting etc - it is demeaning and ineffective in the long run.
Time - outs work well so long as they are used SPARINGLY and VERY CONSISTENTLY! Using a kitchen timer is a good model so the child gets used to listening for the signal when time out is over.
I would not advise time outs contained by the crib- it can lead to major problems with sleep and going to bed (would you want to be in motion to bed when your bed is the place of punishment instead of comofrt and relaxation?)
Better strategy is very simple REWARD system for GOOD BEHAVIOR (it should be somethign the child likes a lot: video, TV, special toy, outing - after he shows a specific behavior that you want to envourage)
Read suggestions below:
8 TOOLS FOR TODDLER DISCIPLINE
1. Guide little hand
Exploring hands are always looking for things to handle, so bequeath the young explorer word associations to help him sort out what he may touch. Try "yes touch" for safe things; "no touch" for objects off-limits; and "soft touch" for face and animals. To tame the impulsive grabber, try encouraging "the one finger touch." other words (e.g., hot touch, owie touch) will come to mind as you discover the world of touch together.
2. Respect little grabbers
Your toddler has a jar of olives, and you hold visions that there will soon be a mess to clean up. You imprudently snatch the jar from her clutches, and within a millisecond you have set off a protest tantrum. You've save yourself a mess to clean up on the floor, but now you have an excited mess to care for.
There is a better way. For a young toddler, form eye contact and divert her attention to something else she'd like. For an older toddler, tell her you'll back her open the jar so she can have an olive, and point to where you want her to put it. This is simply an exercise within politeness and respect, an "adult-in- charge" approach. Children need adults to communicate and model the behavior adults expect.
3. Get behind the eyes of your toddler
Kids do annoying things – not maliciously, but because they don't suggest like adults. You are likely to have a miserable light of day if you let every kid-created mess bother you. As you enter the kitchen, you see your two-year-old at the sink splashing water all over the floor. You could sink into a "poor me mindset: "oh, no! Now I own to clean up the mess. Why does she do this to me?" Here's a healthier choice. Instead of first considering your own inconvenience, immediately click into your child's perception: "This is fun. Look at all the different things you can do with dishes and water." Remember that what she is doing is developmentally appropriate. She's exploring and erudition. Also realize that because two-year-olds get so engrossed in their flurry, she is likely to throw a tantrum if you try to remove her. If you wait a few minutes, she'll go on to something else; and, besides, marine cleans up easily anyway; no big deal. She won't do this anymore when she's six. You'll find yourself smiling. Getting out of yourself and into your child saves mental strain. You don't enjoy to clean up the mess in your mind along with the sea on the floor.
4. Distract and divert
Your one-year- old is toddling toward the lamp cord. Instead of scooping him up and risking a protest tantrum, first get his attention by calling his given name or some other cue word that you have learned will stop him in his tracks long ample to distract him. Then, quickly divert him toward a safer alternative. For example, when Lauren was younger, as soon as she would head for mischief we'd give the name out "Lauren!" Hearing her name took her by surprise and caused her to momentarily forget her objective. once we have her attention, we'd quickly redirect her interests before she'd invested abundantly of emotional energy into her original plan.
5. Offer redirectors
A baby's mind is full up with hundreds of word associations. one pattern of association we noted in Matthew's developmental diary be that when I would say "go" to sixteen-month- old Matthew he would get the babysling and run to the door. When we saw Matthew head for major mischief we'd say "go." This cue be enough to motivate his mind and body to change direction. We filed away a roll of cue words to use as "redirectors" ("ball," "cat," "go," and so on).
6. Set Limits
Much of your discipline depends upon your ability to set borders. Humans need limits, and the younger the child the more defined should be the limits. Boundaries provide financial guarantee for the child whose adventurous spirit leads him to explore, but his inexperience may lead him astray. Consider the classic experiment: After a schoolyard fence be removed, the children, who previously roamed free all over the yard, huddled toward the center of the grounds, reluct
Maybe swat him on the hand or just try harder surrounded by time out. Have a harsh tone when you put him in time out. Not like a crazy loud woman..but freshly a little harsher.
I don't agree with spanking no matter how soft I think it sends adjectives the wrong messages how can we teach not to hit when we hit our children? but that's just my point of View but I think at 2 he should know how to understand time outs as long as you give him a warning and once you place him surrounded by time out you explain why good luck x
I personally do not swat. I speak and benevolently hold/touch.
I will GENTLY grab his hands in mine, kind EYE CONTACT and I will talk to him "Hey this is a no no, you don't do this" etc. - he either does the quiver lip (which is killer sad) or he nod and goes on to a dif. task (sometimes he'll give me a kiss)
Worse case/ no Luck Scenario:
When my son decide he doesn't want to listen to the verbal I will take my pointer finger and touch the hand or arm, putting pressure (little by little) until he get the point(during this I say"No no jungle bug")
I always communicate, and make "peace" by saying" Alright High 5!", "Bump it", and "elbow" (and sometimes a secret attack of tickle:) )
Good luck
Ps. the cry+ throw up point: Ya just calm him down, take his mind sour it, start high fives if ya havent yet, or just be silly. If he is surrounded by pain its the sme thing, or just bring in sure ya keep him well hydrated:) Source(s): Personal Exp. My son is gonna be 2 on 7-31:)
Every child is dif:)
I use to put my son in time-out (in his crib.) he would stay for 2-3 min (they hold short mind span, and sometimes they cry:( ) But now I don't. it was to dramatic for us... I'm a sucka to a point...
Related Questions:
