Partner desires me to hold an abortion?
I'm 4 weeks 5 days, I've only been with my boyfriend a moment or two over a month and was on the pill and was never late or missed one. I took a pregnancy audition on Tuesday and it came back positive. I told my partner that night, he be really shocked.He said he'd stand by me no matter what.
But then last darkness we were talking, I asked him what he REALLY wanted, he said he considered necessary me to get rid of it...Because I'm young (20), I'm a bright girl with my total life in front of me and with a child I will struggle to finish my amount.
Plus we don't really 'know' each other that well, of course we similar to each other enough to be in a relationship, but not to own kids this soon.
But when I think of having an abortion it makes me want to cry, I suffer beside mental health problems already and don't think I could live with myself if I have an abortion.
I can't do this on my own though, I still live at home with my mum, in student debt and work a crappy paid railing job - not how I ever imagined bringing a child into the world.
Please I need some advice! No crazy pro-life, religious BS any. I don't want to hear it and your answers will not be taken into consideration, so don't waste your time.
For one thing, there's no 'prefect time' to bring a child into the world. I know plenty of women in their 30s with steady job and mortgages and they still sit there in tears worrying about this variety of thing. So rest assured, we all go through this, even if the tot is planned!
The most important thing here is the 'emotional' aspect your described. As you said, you have to live near yourself after this decision, and I think the best thing would be for you to win some counselling about this, rather than be expected to make the declaration for yourself. You mentioned mental health issues; do you have a professional that you can talk to just about it? If you don't know anyone, call your doctor's office and ask them for a number -- you don't have to relate them your name (block your number if you like) but they'll have some good proposal. Best of luck! Source(s): Pro-choice but pregnant.
I am not sure what the time limits are for abortions, but you involve to keep that in mind.
However, there are other option:
open adoption
having a family beneficiary raise the baby
raising the newborn yourself
closed adoption
The best thing would be to discussing this with a neutral jamboree - someone who will listen and not judge you or try to push you into one way or another.
Good Luck
Tell your boyfriend to get f****d!! It is your body and your baby. If you really want it, there is other a way of making things work.
honestly it think that you really should believe in what you want if conjecture getting obartion makes you fell guilty then i think that you should hold it but at the end of the day its your choice and there are alot of other babyish moms out there so don't feel your the only one i hope that you will craft the right choice and good luck
if you have an abortion your going to regret it after so i think you should keep it incentive when its born your going to feel different and someone is going to love you no matter what and someones going to need you.
also not a soul knows what the furture might hold this might be your last chance..xx
anything can evolve
but trust me you are going to regret it and when it is "the right time" your kids could find out how do you think they would feel??
i think you should hold the baby and keep it as if you give it away it would be aware of unwanted and un loved.
and i think your one of the lucky ones that can have children as i know people who would do anything for a child to bid their own and know one could take it away and if your patner wants an abortion you could say to him me and this toddler come as a pair you take one the other one comes too. if he then say no then he doesnt deserve you as hes making you do something you dont want to do
hope this helped
xx
It's simple really. If you feel you can't cope after don't have one but I warn you it;s hellishily tough having a babe-in-arms.
You might want to consider an abortion.
He is probably panic, don't rule him out right away, that maybe how he was feeling ultimate night but he may go back and forth beside what he wants. He is right it is far too soon but that doesn't mean you can't keep it.
You inevitability to keep the conversation open with him and notify him also how you feel about having an abortion, perchance you could go to the doctors together to get all the information for adjectives your options, then you can talk it through again.
In the winding up you will have to make the choice yourself, because if you do what someone else says you will blame that creature and blame yourself and that won't help anyone.
This is a horrible situation for you and within is no advice that can really help except to say that you should trust your instincts.
I am a father of a wonderful eight year ripened whom I love very much but I don't recall ever wanting children. Indeed when my wife told me she was pregnant I be happy because it was something that was far-reaching to her.
I know our situations are very different but what I'm trying to say is that it is possible that he would prove a loving father. I'm not sure that any men want to have children within the same way as women so don't read too much into what he said but, whether you think he would want to stay beside you and whether you think he would be a good father.
If you think that you want to own the child, do it. I think the guilt of having an abortion may weigh heavily on you.
If you think you existence as a young adult and freedom is more important; own the abortion but don't spend too long pondering, make a decision and live with it.
Good luck
Answers: You say "But when I think of have an abortion it makes me want to cry, I suffer with mental health problems already and don't ponder I could live with myself if I had an abortion." That statement right there mode that you should not get an abortion. I got pregnant with my first when I be 18. I was in college, and I too had solitary known the guy I was with for a touch under two months and just like you, I be living with my mom. I worked at a diner as a dishwasher! I had tons of student loans and so did he. I knew I couldn't live beside myself if I had an abortion. So- I got a better paying job, continued going to college full time, and worked full time. I was determined to finish college. My baby was appreciatively due in the summer when school was out. I turned 19 during the pregnancy, the father of the newborn and I both got an apartment together in May of that year, and we both worked full time to pay our expenses. We get on WIC, and we got government assistance for health insurance. Now, 6 years subsequently, we have two beautiful daughters and another baby on the agency. We are married and both have finished our degrees. It was a rocky start to our relationship. Our second daughter be born premature and we had a house fire. This is part of life. Life is not other fair and life almost never turns out the way you plan. Life IS what happen when you are busy making other plans. You may be in a rough situation, but it is not impossible to get through it. Yes- you will need rather help, but there is help out within. You have to be diligent and find the help you need. You requirement to get government assistance and both you and ther father of the baby entail to keep your jobs and think nearly finding better paing ones if at all possible. See if your mom would be willing to help you out and permit you stay there with a baby. At smallest that takes the expense of living off your shoulders. Right now, your partner have no say in what you do. He can not make you go and get an abortion just because he is not ready, and he can not stop you from getting one if that is what you opt. This is a consequence and responsibility of having sex. He HAS to help in some route with this child after he or she is born, even if he doesn't want to. Life is hard sometimes, but it is not impossible to figure out a instrument to do things. Your plans may have to change along the way and you own to be willing to accept that fact. You can lift a baby and pay for school and finish your scope, but you will need to work a little harder.
Hey,
we are kind of in the same position. I am 9 weeks pregnant (found out second week).
I am 19 years old and me and my boyfriend have been togethor for solely 5 months. I go to uni and have just finished my first year. I live next to my parents.
When I told my parents they tried to insist that abortion was the best way to go and for a few days I thought that too but similar to you, the thought of it made me cry. Then after many long discussions with my parents and my boyfriend we all come to the decision that we're going to keep the baby.
There are parenthood allowances that the unis provide to help pay for childcare and with satisfactory support you can go to uni and be a mother.
Its completely your own choice what you do, your probobly better to talk to your GP as they will be able to converse you through all your options and be very unjudgmental.
Good luck next to everything :) xxx
I would keep it I know your situation may not be perfect to put on a pedestal a child but many single moms do it. I think you can do it especially if your smart and bright like your boyfriend say its just an obstacle
Hi, Well first thing is your 20 so its not your mum's or Bf's choice it's yours. I know how you feel, i was younger than you though. I be 16 when i found out i was pegnant, and my mum, dad and Bf wanted me to have an abortion. ( i also have something wrong with my blood which put my baby at risk) So i gave into them and did what they said and 2 years on in a minute and its the biggest mistake of my life! i wish i could turn back the clocks. You own to be appsolutly sure that you want an abortion, if you are sure for deffinate then its less likely that you will hold alot of the stress, guilt and the other things that come with it.
I hope this has helped. But please dont stir through with this if your not a 100% sure, because you may regret it later on in time. And remember once its done its done so please just make sure you know exactly what you want.
And in most places surrounded by the UK the time limit on abortions is normally no later than 12 weeks. Feel free to email me, and il backing you in anyway i can. Hope things work out for you. If you follow your heart then you cant go far wrong contained by life. Best of luck and remember its your body its your choice! so dont listen to any one who tries to give you a hard time on here. x Source(s): Me
why dont you ask him if he'd reconsider and opt for adoption instead.
Im sure the both of you dont similar to the idea of killing a baby, and i consider this is a more humane way of getting 'rid' of it.
Though I think he sounds like a okay grounded and responsible male, from his answer. I think adoption is really the only road to go if you dont want an abortion.
Well, the first thing is to go to a familial planning/planned parenthood clinic and confirm the pregnancy. Then you can speak to a counsellor who will talk you through your options. If you do agree on to have a termination, they offer good counselling both formerly and after. You could have an adoption but then you have to facade going through with the pregnancy and birth.
I'm not going to influence your choice, but how would coping with a baby, possibly as a single mum, affect your mental form problems?
I'm really not being rude, but the best advice is to go to the professionals (www.fpa.org.uk), not asking strangers on a silly cross-examine and answer forum.
talk to to your doctor, he will point you to the right agency's to get advice
If you think abortion would do more impair than good then there is your answer. You may regret an abortion forever, but once you see your newborn you will NEVER regret having him/her. I promise you that.
Don't let your boyfriend dictate your life, you are an developed. There is always adoption, if that is a better solution for you...?
Don't rush into this decision and don't allow anyone to encourage you to do something that you don't want to. Because this is human life, it's the most important thing surrounded by the world. It takes a huge amount of consideration and soul searching to decide if abortion is your best leeway.
Think about the long term consequences of both abortion and keeping baby, not only the hear and now. If you abort, you can go back to your run of the mill life immediately, no change. But your mental form may suffer. If you keep the baby, you have time to prepare, you'll love it more than anything BUT it will be a struggle. You enjoy to decide if you can cope with it...
Sadly, there is no natural way out. Don't rush yourself. Just figure out the best possible scenario for YOU and your baby, not a soul else.
All the best x
What your b/f say should not decide your out come. My fiance was the same be. At first he told me he was going to be there for me. Then he changed. Then he changed again. As far as doing it on your own, yes you can. I did for 2 years before I become pregnant again. And I was married. He hasn't seen his daughter in 2 years, his loss really. Have you talk to your mom about this? There are programs to help women who try to make it. It doesn't be paid you any less of woman to use them. And if you still don't want to do it, Have you thought about Adoption? Maybe going to see a counselor will help. Obviously you don't want an abortion and if you attain one it will only make you miserable with your strength problem you stated. I wish I could give some words of encouragement, I know how scary is it. I get pregnant at 18. I'm 23 now, with a 4 year old and am currently 35 weeks a long. I enjoy a crappy job. But I make ends meet. Good Luck hun, I hope the best for you what ever your finding is.
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But then last darkness we were talking, I asked him what he REALLY wanted, he said he considered necessary me to get rid of it...Because I'm young (20), I'm a bright girl with my total life in front of me and with a child I will struggle to finish my amount.
Plus we don't really 'know' each other that well, of course we similar to each other enough to be in a relationship, but not to own kids this soon.
But when I think of having an abortion it makes me want to cry, I suffer beside mental health problems already and don't think I could live with myself if I have an abortion.
I can't do this on my own though, I still live at home with my mum, in student debt and work a crappy paid railing job - not how I ever imagined bringing a child into the world.
Please I need some advice! No crazy pro-life, religious BS any. I don't want to hear it and your answers will not be taken into consideration, so don't waste your time.
For one thing, there's no 'prefect time' to bring a child into the world. I know plenty of women in their 30s with steady job and mortgages and they still sit there in tears worrying about this variety of thing. So rest assured, we all go through this, even if the tot is planned!
The most important thing here is the 'emotional' aspect your described. As you said, you have to live near yourself after this decision, and I think the best thing would be for you to win some counselling about this, rather than be expected to make the declaration for yourself. You mentioned mental health issues; do you have a professional that you can talk to just about it? If you don't know anyone, call your doctor's office and ask them for a number -- you don't have to relate them your name (block your number if you like) but they'll have some good proposal. Best of luck! Source(s): Pro-choice but pregnant.
I am not sure what the time limits are for abortions, but you involve to keep that in mind.
However, there are other option:
open adoption
having a family beneficiary raise the baby
raising the newborn yourself
closed adoption
The best thing would be to discussing this with a neutral jamboree - someone who will listen and not judge you or try to push you into one way or another.
Good Luck
Tell your boyfriend to get f****d!! It is your body and your baby. If you really want it, there is other a way of making things work.
honestly it think that you really should believe in what you want if conjecture getting obartion makes you fell guilty then i think that you should hold it but at the end of the day its your choice and there are alot of other babyish moms out there so don't feel your the only one i hope that you will craft the right choice and good luck
if you have an abortion your going to regret it after so i think you should keep it incentive when its born your going to feel different and someone is going to love you no matter what and someones going to need you.
also not a soul knows what the furture might hold this might be your last chance..xx
anything can evolve
but trust me you are going to regret it and when it is "the right time" your kids could find out how do you think they would feel??
i think you should hold the baby and keep it as if you give it away it would be aware of unwanted and un loved.
and i think your one of the lucky ones that can have children as i know people who would do anything for a child to bid their own and know one could take it away and if your patner wants an abortion you could say to him me and this toddler come as a pair you take one the other one comes too. if he then say no then he doesnt deserve you as hes making you do something you dont want to do
hope this helped
xx
It's simple really. If you feel you can't cope after don't have one but I warn you it;s hellishily tough having a babe-in-arms.
You might want to consider an abortion.
He is probably panic, don't rule him out right away, that maybe how he was feeling ultimate night but he may go back and forth beside what he wants. He is right it is far too soon but that doesn't mean you can't keep it.
You inevitability to keep the conversation open with him and notify him also how you feel about having an abortion, perchance you could go to the doctors together to get all the information for adjectives your options, then you can talk it through again.
In the winding up you will have to make the choice yourself, because if you do what someone else says you will blame that creature and blame yourself and that won't help anyone.
This is a horrible situation for you and within is no advice that can really help except to say that you should trust your instincts.
I am a father of a wonderful eight year ripened whom I love very much but I don't recall ever wanting children. Indeed when my wife told me she was pregnant I be happy because it was something that was far-reaching to her.
I know our situations are very different but what I'm trying to say is that it is possible that he would prove a loving father. I'm not sure that any men want to have children within the same way as women so don't read too much into what he said but, whether you think he would want to stay beside you and whether you think he would be a good father.
If you think that you want to own the child, do it. I think the guilt of having an abortion may weigh heavily on you.
If you think you existence as a young adult and freedom is more important; own the abortion but don't spend too long pondering, make a decision and live with it.
Good luck
Answers: You say "But when I think of have an abortion it makes me want to cry, I suffer with mental health problems already and don't ponder I could live with myself if I had an abortion." That statement right there mode that you should not get an abortion. I got pregnant with my first when I be 18. I was in college, and I too had solitary known the guy I was with for a touch under two months and just like you, I be living with my mom. I worked at a diner as a dishwasher! I had tons of student loans and so did he. I knew I couldn't live beside myself if I had an abortion. So- I got a better paying job, continued going to college full time, and worked full time. I was determined to finish college. My baby was appreciatively due in the summer when school was out. I turned 19 during the pregnancy, the father of the newborn and I both got an apartment together in May of that year, and we both worked full time to pay our expenses. We get on WIC, and we got government assistance for health insurance. Now, 6 years subsequently, we have two beautiful daughters and another baby on the agency. We are married and both have finished our degrees. It was a rocky start to our relationship. Our second daughter be born premature and we had a house fire. This is part of life. Life is not other fair and life almost never turns out the way you plan. Life IS what happen when you are busy making other plans. You may be in a rough situation, but it is not impossible to get through it. Yes- you will need rather help, but there is help out within. You have to be diligent and find the help you need. You requirement to get government assistance and both you and ther father of the baby entail to keep your jobs and think nearly finding better paing ones if at all possible. See if your mom would be willing to help you out and permit you stay there with a baby. At smallest that takes the expense of living off your shoulders. Right now, your partner have no say in what you do. He can not make you go and get an abortion just because he is not ready, and he can not stop you from getting one if that is what you opt. This is a consequence and responsibility of having sex. He HAS to help in some route with this child after he or she is born, even if he doesn't want to. Life is hard sometimes, but it is not impossible to figure out a instrument to do things. Your plans may have to change along the way and you own to be willing to accept that fact. You can lift a baby and pay for school and finish your scope, but you will need to work a little harder.
Hey,
we are kind of in the same position. I am 9 weeks pregnant (found out second week).
I am 19 years old and me and my boyfriend have been togethor for solely 5 months. I go to uni and have just finished my first year. I live next to my parents.
When I told my parents they tried to insist that abortion was the best way to go and for a few days I thought that too but similar to you, the thought of it made me cry. Then after many long discussions with my parents and my boyfriend we all come to the decision that we're going to keep the baby.
There are parenthood allowances that the unis provide to help pay for childcare and with satisfactory support you can go to uni and be a mother.
Its completely your own choice what you do, your probobly better to talk to your GP as they will be able to converse you through all your options and be very unjudgmental.
Good luck next to everything :) xxx
I would keep it I know your situation may not be perfect to put on a pedestal a child but many single moms do it. I think you can do it especially if your smart and bright like your boyfriend say its just an obstacle
Hi, Well first thing is your 20 so its not your mum's or Bf's choice it's yours. I know how you feel, i was younger than you though. I be 16 when i found out i was pegnant, and my mum, dad and Bf wanted me to have an abortion. ( i also have something wrong with my blood which put my baby at risk) So i gave into them and did what they said and 2 years on in a minute and its the biggest mistake of my life! i wish i could turn back the clocks. You own to be appsolutly sure that you want an abortion, if you are sure for deffinate then its less likely that you will hold alot of the stress, guilt and the other things that come with it.
I hope this has helped. But please dont stir through with this if your not a 100% sure, because you may regret it later on in time. And remember once its done its done so please just make sure you know exactly what you want.
And in most places surrounded by the UK the time limit on abortions is normally no later than 12 weeks. Feel free to email me, and il backing you in anyway i can. Hope things work out for you. If you follow your heart then you cant go far wrong contained by life. Best of luck and remember its your body its your choice! so dont listen to any one who tries to give you a hard time on here. x Source(s): Me
why dont you ask him if he'd reconsider and opt for adoption instead.
Im sure the both of you dont similar to the idea of killing a baby, and i consider this is a more humane way of getting 'rid' of it.
Though I think he sounds like a okay grounded and responsible male, from his answer. I think adoption is really the only road to go if you dont want an abortion.
Well, the first thing is to go to a familial planning/planned parenthood clinic and confirm the pregnancy. Then you can speak to a counsellor who will talk you through your options. If you do agree on to have a termination, they offer good counselling both formerly and after. You could have an adoption but then you have to facade going through with the pregnancy and birth.
I'm not going to influence your choice, but how would coping with a baby, possibly as a single mum, affect your mental form problems?
I'm really not being rude, but the best advice is to go to the professionals (www.fpa.org.uk), not asking strangers on a silly cross-examine and answer forum.
talk to to your doctor, he will point you to the right agency's to get advice
If you think abortion would do more impair than good then there is your answer. You may regret an abortion forever, but once you see your newborn you will NEVER regret having him/her. I promise you that.
Don't let your boyfriend dictate your life, you are an developed. There is always adoption, if that is a better solution for you...?
Don't rush into this decision and don't allow anyone to encourage you to do something that you don't want to. Because this is human life, it's the most important thing surrounded by the world. It takes a huge amount of consideration and soul searching to decide if abortion is your best leeway.
Think about the long term consequences of both abortion and keeping baby, not only the hear and now. If you abort, you can go back to your run of the mill life immediately, no change. But your mental form may suffer. If you keep the baby, you have time to prepare, you'll love it more than anything BUT it will be a struggle. You enjoy to decide if you can cope with it...
Sadly, there is no natural way out. Don't rush yourself. Just figure out the best possible scenario for YOU and your baby, not a soul else.
All the best x
What your b/f say should not decide your out come. My fiance was the same be. At first he told me he was going to be there for me. Then he changed. Then he changed again. As far as doing it on your own, yes you can. I did for 2 years before I become pregnant again. And I was married. He hasn't seen his daughter in 2 years, his loss really. Have you talk to your mom about this? There are programs to help women who try to make it. It doesn't be paid you any less of woman to use them. And if you still don't want to do it, Have you thought about Adoption? Maybe going to see a counselor will help. Obviously you don't want an abortion and if you attain one it will only make you miserable with your strength problem you stated. I wish I could give some words of encouragement, I know how scary is it. I get pregnant at 18. I'm 23 now, with a 4 year old and am currently 35 weeks a long. I enjoy a crappy job. But I make ends meet. Good Luck hun, I hope the best for you what ever your finding is.
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