How can i control my step children?
I need help so i will start at the beginning. I met my behind time husband 20 years ago and instantly fell in love with him. anyway he already had a girlfriend so him anyone unaware of my feelings towards him we became best friends. i be always there for him and when his girlfriend fell pregnant with twins i commonly babysat them. anyway i knew they had been have some financial difficulty but then they somehow got the money. she was a drug seller. he found out when he came home early and she was dealing drugs within their living room. anyway he left her and ran away with the twins who at the time be 6 months old.
we stayed in touch and i eventually moved to where he be living after getting multiple threats from the mother asking me where he had taken the kids. he fell in love beside me and we got married when the twins were 3 years old. we thought it be best they thought that i was their mother because their real one was so...capably you know.
but then he died 2 months ago of bowel cancer. at the funeral she turned up and told the twins the truth. i have custody because she is a wanted woman and i raise them for 15 years. but now i have lost control. they get drunk and stay out postponed and i cant stop them because they just say "your not our real mother so what can you do"
how can i stop them, they are still grief stricken and i cogitate that is why they are acting like this but i need to stop them because i dont want them turning to their unadulterated mother or worse, turning into her
Write them junk mail. Tell them that just because you didn't give birth to them doesn't mean you aren't their mother. Being a mother system more than just having a baby, it's loving the children, doing what is best for them, making sacrifice so that their needs are met. Being a mother is getting up with them when they're sick, kissing the owie better, paying money for school supplies instead of the electric bill. It's making dinners that they don't want to devour, then surprising them with their favorite dessert.
You may not be blood but you've done everything a mother should do. You also have legalized guardianship because their mother was the worst example of being a mother.
Tell them you love them and that whether they think of you as their mother or not that you will ALWAYS suggest of them as your children.
I'm a stepmother to a six year old girl. Her mother only wanted to hold a baby to show off, but whenever they weren't around people she completely overlooked my daughter. Last summer she moved out of state to continue her education and live off of her own parents. We're raise my step-daughter. The agreement was that her real mom would get her any for Christmas or Spring Break. Last year she had her for Christmas, so this year she'll have her for Spring Break. She's also supposed to get her for the summer. However, she opt out of having her this summer because she had the opportunity to go to China on a funding. So it'll be a full year (plus some) before my daughter sees her biological mother again.
Recently my daughter has started blaming herself for her mother not wanting her. I a moment ago tell her that she needs to learn to pilfer care of herself before she can take consideration of a child.
Just tell them you love them and you always will. Good luck! I'm so sorry for your loss by the way.
Thats a pretty common item with most teenagers nowadays,
the more you tell them what to do the more they are gonna disrespect you.
Answers: If you have coustody of them, then yes you CAN control them. I would try to sit them down and explain everything to them, about how their definite mother is and the problems she has, and why they have been better stale with you. If that doesn't work, I would suggest counseling for both of them, and you. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope things get better soon.
You still have guardianship, so that makes them have to listen to you. Put your foot down very soon otherwise, they will never learn.
Just because you don't share blood doesn't mean your not their mother.
By definition mother is; a woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother.
Stand your ground and put them on lock down. You own to make them see that they are not the only ones hurting. I would show them that they could be living with a drug dealing (and probably and addict) mother, who would supply you out to get the next fix. If you have be there for them for 15 years, you deserve some amount of respect, and I would straight up tell them. If they have license (or high hopes of getting them) revoke them for the time being, or delay the process of getting one.
Don't be afraid to revert subsidise to the old 'no tv for bad behavior'. Just because they are teens doesn't mean the methods hold to change. Show them that you care about them, and you are anxious that they could potentially end up in a worse situation than their biological mother.
rule with an iron fist.
if you hit them hard enough, they'll listen.
let them choose therir destiny...you've done your part of raise them they will soon be adults. All you can do is hope and pray.
show em who's boss.
hold away their priveledges.
take away tv remotes, screw that, take the whole nouns cable.
take their xbox, ps2, ps3, phones whatevr they got.
take their computers.
you give it to em, you can take it away.
and if u didnt, legally, your the parent, u can.
be strong. they'll hate you very soon, but they'll thank you later.
threats r helpful too.
e.g. when they say "your not our mother, we dont own to listen to you"
say "if you live under MY roof, you listen to ME"
you get ma drift?
biddable luck hun Source(s): the wisdom of yours truly.
Sorry! No short cuts, you any give up and involve Social Services or you keep trying time after time being in attendance for them, giving them unconditional love but you do need to impose sanctions of some species.
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we stayed in touch and i eventually moved to where he be living after getting multiple threats from the mother asking me where he had taken the kids. he fell in love beside me and we got married when the twins were 3 years old. we thought it be best they thought that i was their mother because their real one was so...capably you know.
but then he died 2 months ago of bowel cancer. at the funeral she turned up and told the twins the truth. i have custody because she is a wanted woman and i raise them for 15 years. but now i have lost control. they get drunk and stay out postponed and i cant stop them because they just say "your not our real mother so what can you do"
how can i stop them, they are still grief stricken and i cogitate that is why they are acting like this but i need to stop them because i dont want them turning to their unadulterated mother or worse, turning into her
Write them junk mail. Tell them that just because you didn't give birth to them doesn't mean you aren't their mother. Being a mother system more than just having a baby, it's loving the children, doing what is best for them, making sacrifice so that their needs are met. Being a mother is getting up with them when they're sick, kissing the owie better, paying money for school supplies instead of the electric bill. It's making dinners that they don't want to devour, then surprising them with their favorite dessert.
You may not be blood but you've done everything a mother should do. You also have legalized guardianship because their mother was the worst example of being a mother.
Tell them you love them and that whether they think of you as their mother or not that you will ALWAYS suggest of them as your children.
I'm a stepmother to a six year old girl. Her mother only wanted to hold a baby to show off, but whenever they weren't around people she completely overlooked my daughter. Last summer she moved out of state to continue her education and live off of her own parents. We're raise my step-daughter. The agreement was that her real mom would get her any for Christmas or Spring Break. Last year she had her for Christmas, so this year she'll have her for Spring Break. She's also supposed to get her for the summer. However, she opt out of having her this summer because she had the opportunity to go to China on a funding. So it'll be a full year (plus some) before my daughter sees her biological mother again.
Recently my daughter has started blaming herself for her mother not wanting her. I a moment ago tell her that she needs to learn to pilfer care of herself before she can take consideration of a child.
Just tell them you love them and you always will. Good luck! I'm so sorry for your loss by the way.
Thats a pretty common item with most teenagers nowadays,
the more you tell them what to do the more they are gonna disrespect you.
Answers: If you have coustody of them, then yes you CAN control them. I would try to sit them down and explain everything to them, about how their definite mother is and the problems she has, and why they have been better stale with you. If that doesn't work, I would suggest counseling for both of them, and you. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope things get better soon.
You still have guardianship, so that makes them have to listen to you. Put your foot down very soon otherwise, they will never learn.
Just because you don't share blood doesn't mean your not their mother.
By definition mother is; a woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother.
Stand your ground and put them on lock down. You own to make them see that they are not the only ones hurting. I would show them that they could be living with a drug dealing (and probably and addict) mother, who would supply you out to get the next fix. If you have be there for them for 15 years, you deserve some amount of respect, and I would straight up tell them. If they have license (or high hopes of getting them) revoke them for the time being, or delay the process of getting one.
Don't be afraid to revert subsidise to the old 'no tv for bad behavior'. Just because they are teens doesn't mean the methods hold to change. Show them that you care about them, and you are anxious that they could potentially end up in a worse situation than their biological mother.
rule with an iron fist.
if you hit them hard enough, they'll listen.
let them choose therir destiny...you've done your part of raise them they will soon be adults. All you can do is hope and pray.
show em who's boss.
hold away their priveledges.
take away tv remotes, screw that, take the whole nouns cable.
take their xbox, ps2, ps3, phones whatevr they got.
take their computers.
you give it to em, you can take it away.
and if u didnt, legally, your the parent, u can.
be strong. they'll hate you very soon, but they'll thank you later.
threats r helpful too.
e.g. when they say "your not our mother, we dont own to listen to you"
say "if you live under MY roof, you listen to ME"
you get ma drift?
biddable luck hun Source(s): the wisdom of yours truly.
Sorry! No short cuts, you any give up and involve Social Services or you keep trying time after time being in attendance for them, giving them unconditional love but you do need to impose sanctions of some species.
Related Questions: