"Step" Parents using corporal punishment?
Do you think it's okay for a step parent to punish their step kids with corporal punishment? My husband and his ex-wife both believe in spankings, but do you chew over it's okay for me (his current wife) and his ex's husband to spank the kids?
NO. If you can't come up near a good reason why they shouldn't do something and you have to spank them to net them do what you want, that's kind of called a dictatorship.
"Do what I tell you or you lose your rights".
How around "do something wrong and I'll sit you down and tell you why you shouldn't do that".
I believe in spanking; however, I think it is bearing off the mark for a step parent to use corporal punishment. I think it is clearly acceptable for a step parent to scold, use time out and ask for the parents intervention if all other methods hold failed. But when it comes down to the spanking that is the parents job just.
Edit -- Since you guys obviously have a good relationship and own all agreed that the step parents spanking the children is acceptable than it is no one else's business. Everyone have a different family dynamic and no one has the right to narrate you what you are doing is wrong. It is very refreshing to hear that you 4 are working together as a team.
NO that is complete bs.
Step parents spanking kids now?
It's bad plenty parents do it.
No, it's not ok.
In most cases a step parent can never have the protective and guiding bond that a 'blood' parent has. I think if a step parent hits, it have more to do with the bother of having to deal next to a kid that really isn't their own.
I've had 3 stepfathers (legally) and they were abusive sh.ts. Coming from my perspective, a step parent is out of vein laying a hand on a kid other than to protect him or someone else from prominent danger from themselves (the kid) or otherwise.
Does the step parent use the same form of punishment on their own 'blood' children? Yes? Well, then at tiniest it's an unbiased course of action, but I still am uncomfortable near it. I'm not convinced there are no better ways to solve an issue (though, yes, I spank my own kids on the rare occasion).
Answers: If it has been discussed with adjectives the "parents" involved and everyone agrees I don't think there is anything wrong with it. If the step parents don't punish or discipline surrounded by some way, the children won't have as much respect for them. Who cares what your friends surmise. If it works for you guys, keep doing it.
I dont presume a step parent should have any say. Me and my fathers relationship have been horible ever since he married "the witch" my step mother. She trys to take control of me and I wont have it. Considering she trys to run the show and her *** is lucky for even anyone in this country because my dad brought her over here from equador. My parents have not been getting along ever since she come here and for two months I lived with my dad because of some issues and my dad let her make the rules, and I be never aloud to do anything really. I stopped talking to my dad for a whole year because of her. Now that I am having a child of my own my dad have been there for me alot more and seen to be gentle a heck of alot more then he ever has and still she trys to tell me what to do but im almost 18 years antiquated and she has always controled me in so masses ways and it makes me mad because we arent even 10 years apart. So coming from a childs perspective who has be through it no I dont think the step parent should have any say and deffinitly not spanking, donate it up to there father because they will only hate you for it.
I feel that the step-parent is technically a parent and should know how to use any forms of punishment that the parents agree on. This will teach them to respect the step-parent as a parent and not just a person who married their mom/dad
Edit: to the character above me... I would feel the same way if my children didn't know the personage my (hypothetical) ex married. But I honestly believe there should be a long relationship and getting to know the kids before he would remarry. I am basing my answer stale of this, but if the ex was irresponsible and just randomly remarried, that personage better not lay a finger on my babies
I don't think it's ok for anyone to hit other people. It doesn't business whether they're a parent, step parent, or whatever, people should just hang on to their hands to themselves and learn how to control their emotions.
Well it doesn’t matter what you think something like your ex and his method of punishment. You worry about you and he worries about him. In our court lay down, it states that each parent is to discipline as they deem appropriate and that the other parent may not intervene in any way.
While some don’t close to the method of spanking as punishment, it is NOT abuse. It’s a gray area and I highly doubt you’d win contained by court unless you can prove flat out abuse. Which is tough to do.
As for his wife, well, if he says it’s okay and it’s his house and his wife….again, I don’t know if you can speak up and hold a say. You MAY be able to get the courts to side beside you on this but it’d apply to you as well in the future. That your spouse or s/o would not be capable of speak up and intervene with the child in ANY way.
As a stepmom, I disagree beside that. When my stepdaughter is in our house and she’s under my care for anything reason, I’m not going to let her do as she pleases. Especially because I’m responsible for her and God forbid anything happen to her. Aside from the certainty that my son is her brother and I have to keep the same set of rules for both kids. And her mother agrees next to this. She doesn’t want her daughter misbehaving and getting away with it – regardless of who has to be the disciplinarian.
You can TALK, not fight, next to your ex about it. And voice your opinion. But I doubt you’ll get terribly far.
** ADD **
Age of Aquarius - what makes you think this is about remarrying? Lots of general public have kids out of wedlock nowadays.
My husband wasn't ever married to his ex gf of one MONTH. My stepdaughter have never known her parents to be together. And all that her mother cares just about is that I love her daughter, respect her daughter, and care for her daughter - just like SHE would. Since when is that a fruitless thing? It's NOT a competition, if more people would realize that, then possibly all involved would have a happier life.
Times own changed hun. Source(s): Mom and Stepmom - I dont' spank but I'm not against those that do. Been in my SD's life since her father has at age 2. She's presently 6 yrs old
No one should be hitting anyone, children aren't your inanimate possessions you manufacture it sound like you're arguing over over the family coupé or something.
A step-parent is still a parent. Whatever the "house rules" dictate indubitably pertains to a step-parent. The kids will just have to adjust and accept that.
I think a parent is a parent period. Even if it's a step parent we're talking going on for.
Any parents involved in raising the child should all be on equal page, and all be on the same level of authority and they should be a integrated front for the children.
If you have a good relationship with the ex, I estimate that I would have a family meeting on the subject because we're conversation about how the children are going to be raised...I dont think it's convincing to believe that one parent would be affective if he or she didn't have the same authority as the others.
My step father had adjectives the same authority that my mother had...and I think they did the right point. You can expect a child to fully respect your authority if they know that your rights to punish them are restricted.
You are a parent to them, there shouldn't be a differentiation between you and the other parents involved. It just confuses the kids and complicates the situation.
***
I think that an disparity in the parenting rights is for no one's benefit but the parent that can't see the greater good. The children need a combined front and putting the steps on that level, firstly, betters the relationship that all the adults will have to share, and secondly will better the guidance that the children will receive.
Reserving a horizontal of superiority for yourself and demoting the step to someone that has no authority over the child does nothing but stroke the ego of the biological parent in quiz, it does nothing for the child but create confusion.
I think that is to say for the family to decide. If they both give you green light, then that's fine. And just because they give one of the step parents consent doesn't mean they have to give it to the other. - It should be base on #1 how affective spankings are on the kid vs. other punishments and #2, how qualified you are to administer a proper spanking.
Personally, I wouldn't trust anyone my ex goes out with to spank my child. I only travel out with guys I feel I can trust - but I don't want them spanking her either.
Nope, I certainly don't think it's okay! I believe any authentic punishment (beyond just a talking-to) should be reserved for the parents, unless the stepmom/stepdad has been nearby since the child was little, and there is no mom/dad involved.
*edit* You can thumbs down me all you want; I give my opinion, and I meant it. If it were my kids, no, their stepmother (or stepfather, if I re-married) would NOT be touching my kids, length... I hate it when parents re-marry, then expect kids who don't even know this person, to automatically respect, and adopt discipline from, this new person... Pure BS.
*2nd edit* Momto2... 'hun' (Just saying it fund to you. Personally, I don't like to be called it, especially when I'm older.)... The interrogate was about stepparents, so that's what I answered about; not going on for someone's girl/boyfriend... I was also answering for myself, which is that it would not be happening---wife, my new husband (if that ever happened), girlfriend, or whoever... The disciplinarians of MY kids, are myself---I carried them, and have raise them, 24/7, from day one---and my husband... If anyone else (potentially) coming into the relationship doesn't like it? That's too bad, lapse of story... Times may have changed, but *some* things never change, and one of those things is that is *I* am mom... I choose whether they are spanked or not, and I choose NOT.
(By the channel, if I seem cranky, I'm not... But, it can be difficult to express moods on here.) Source(s): Married, with 4 kids, and if I ever split with hubby, and his wife spanked our kids, it would be the second time, I guarantee it. (I don't even spank them, nor does my husband!)
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NO. If you can't come up near a good reason why they shouldn't do something and you have to spank them to net them do what you want, that's kind of called a dictatorship.
"Do what I tell you or you lose your rights".
How around "do something wrong and I'll sit you down and tell you why you shouldn't do that".
I believe in spanking; however, I think it is bearing off the mark for a step parent to use corporal punishment. I think it is clearly acceptable for a step parent to scold, use time out and ask for the parents intervention if all other methods hold failed. But when it comes down to the spanking that is the parents job just.
Edit -- Since you guys obviously have a good relationship and own all agreed that the step parents spanking the children is acceptable than it is no one else's business. Everyone have a different family dynamic and no one has the right to narrate you what you are doing is wrong. It is very refreshing to hear that you 4 are working together as a team.
NO that is complete bs.
Step parents spanking kids now?
It's bad plenty parents do it.
No, it's not ok.
In most cases a step parent can never have the protective and guiding bond that a 'blood' parent has. I think if a step parent hits, it have more to do with the bother of having to deal next to a kid that really isn't their own.
I've had 3 stepfathers (legally) and they were abusive sh.ts. Coming from my perspective, a step parent is out of vein laying a hand on a kid other than to protect him or someone else from prominent danger from themselves (the kid) or otherwise.
Does the step parent use the same form of punishment on their own 'blood' children? Yes? Well, then at tiniest it's an unbiased course of action, but I still am uncomfortable near it. I'm not convinced there are no better ways to solve an issue (though, yes, I spank my own kids on the rare occasion).
Answers: If it has been discussed with adjectives the "parents" involved and everyone agrees I don't think there is anything wrong with it. If the step parents don't punish or discipline surrounded by some way, the children won't have as much respect for them. Who cares what your friends surmise. If it works for you guys, keep doing it.
I dont presume a step parent should have any say. Me and my fathers relationship have been horible ever since he married "the witch" my step mother. She trys to take control of me and I wont have it. Considering she trys to run the show and her *** is lucky for even anyone in this country because my dad brought her over here from equador. My parents have not been getting along ever since she come here and for two months I lived with my dad because of some issues and my dad let her make the rules, and I be never aloud to do anything really. I stopped talking to my dad for a whole year because of her. Now that I am having a child of my own my dad have been there for me alot more and seen to be gentle a heck of alot more then he ever has and still she trys to tell me what to do but im almost 18 years antiquated and she has always controled me in so masses ways and it makes me mad because we arent even 10 years apart. So coming from a childs perspective who has be through it no I dont think the step parent should have any say and deffinitly not spanking, donate it up to there father because they will only hate you for it.
I feel that the step-parent is technically a parent and should know how to use any forms of punishment that the parents agree on. This will teach them to respect the step-parent as a parent and not just a person who married their mom/dad
Edit: to the character above me... I would feel the same way if my children didn't know the personage my (hypothetical) ex married. But I honestly believe there should be a long relationship and getting to know the kids before he would remarry. I am basing my answer stale of this, but if the ex was irresponsible and just randomly remarried, that personage better not lay a finger on my babies
I don't think it's ok for anyone to hit other people. It doesn't business whether they're a parent, step parent, or whatever, people should just hang on to their hands to themselves and learn how to control their emotions.
Well it doesn’t matter what you think something like your ex and his method of punishment. You worry about you and he worries about him. In our court lay down, it states that each parent is to discipline as they deem appropriate and that the other parent may not intervene in any way.
While some don’t close to the method of spanking as punishment, it is NOT abuse. It’s a gray area and I highly doubt you’d win contained by court unless you can prove flat out abuse. Which is tough to do.
As for his wife, well, if he says it’s okay and it’s his house and his wife….again, I don’t know if you can speak up and hold a say. You MAY be able to get the courts to side beside you on this but it’d apply to you as well in the future. That your spouse or s/o would not be capable of speak up and intervene with the child in ANY way.
As a stepmom, I disagree beside that. When my stepdaughter is in our house and she’s under my care for anything reason, I’m not going to let her do as she pleases. Especially because I’m responsible for her and God forbid anything happen to her. Aside from the certainty that my son is her brother and I have to keep the same set of rules for both kids. And her mother agrees next to this. She doesn’t want her daughter misbehaving and getting away with it – regardless of who has to be the disciplinarian.
You can TALK, not fight, next to your ex about it. And voice your opinion. But I doubt you’ll get terribly far.
** ADD **
Age of Aquarius - what makes you think this is about remarrying? Lots of general public have kids out of wedlock nowadays.
My husband wasn't ever married to his ex gf of one MONTH. My stepdaughter have never known her parents to be together. And all that her mother cares just about is that I love her daughter, respect her daughter, and care for her daughter - just like SHE would. Since when is that a fruitless thing? It's NOT a competition, if more people would realize that, then possibly all involved would have a happier life.
Times own changed hun. Source(s): Mom and Stepmom - I dont' spank but I'm not against those that do. Been in my SD's life since her father has at age 2. She's presently 6 yrs old
No one should be hitting anyone, children aren't your inanimate possessions you manufacture it sound like you're arguing over over the family coupé or something.
A step-parent is still a parent. Whatever the "house rules" dictate indubitably pertains to a step-parent. The kids will just have to adjust and accept that.
I think a parent is a parent period. Even if it's a step parent we're talking going on for.
Any parents involved in raising the child should all be on equal page, and all be on the same level of authority and they should be a integrated front for the children.
If you have a good relationship with the ex, I estimate that I would have a family meeting on the subject because we're conversation about how the children are going to be raised...I dont think it's convincing to believe that one parent would be affective if he or she didn't have the same authority as the others.
My step father had adjectives the same authority that my mother had...and I think they did the right point. You can expect a child to fully respect your authority if they know that your rights to punish them are restricted.
You are a parent to them, there shouldn't be a differentiation between you and the other parents involved. It just confuses the kids and complicates the situation.
***
I think that an disparity in the parenting rights is for no one's benefit but the parent that can't see the greater good. The children need a combined front and putting the steps on that level, firstly, betters the relationship that all the adults will have to share, and secondly will better the guidance that the children will receive.
Reserving a horizontal of superiority for yourself and demoting the step to someone that has no authority over the child does nothing but stroke the ego of the biological parent in quiz, it does nothing for the child but create confusion.
I think that is to say for the family to decide. If they both give you green light, then that's fine. And just because they give one of the step parents consent doesn't mean they have to give it to the other. - It should be base on #1 how affective spankings are on the kid vs. other punishments and #2, how qualified you are to administer a proper spanking.
Personally, I wouldn't trust anyone my ex goes out with to spank my child. I only travel out with guys I feel I can trust - but I don't want them spanking her either.
Nope, I certainly don't think it's okay! I believe any authentic punishment (beyond just a talking-to) should be reserved for the parents, unless the stepmom/stepdad has been nearby since the child was little, and there is no mom/dad involved.
*edit* You can thumbs down me all you want; I give my opinion, and I meant it. If it were my kids, no, their stepmother (or stepfather, if I re-married) would NOT be touching my kids, length... I hate it when parents re-marry, then expect kids who don't even know this person, to automatically respect, and adopt discipline from, this new person... Pure BS.
*2nd edit* Momto2... 'hun' (Just saying it fund to you. Personally, I don't like to be called it, especially when I'm older.)... The interrogate was about stepparents, so that's what I answered about; not going on for someone's girl/boyfriend... I was also answering for myself, which is that it would not be happening---wife, my new husband (if that ever happened), girlfriend, or whoever... The disciplinarians of MY kids, are myself---I carried them, and have raise them, 24/7, from day one---and my husband... If anyone else (potentially) coming into the relationship doesn't like it? That's too bad, lapse of story... Times may have changed, but *some* things never change, and one of those things is that is *I* am mom... I choose whether they are spanked or not, and I choose NOT.
(By the channel, if I seem cranky, I'm not... But, it can be difficult to express moods on here.) Source(s): Married, with 4 kids, and if I ever split with hubby, and his wife spanked our kids, it would be the second time, I guarantee it. (I don't even spank them, nor does my husband!)
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