Am I a fruitless mother for wish my son's years away?
I have a 10yrs old son with ADD. I am so tired of everything that go along with ADD kids. I have to remind him a million times to do something..He is messy and doesn't seem to keeping how his lifestyle impacts mine. Nothing I do seems to be good ample for him. He complains how life is so unfair...
On the other hand he can enjoy fantastic days where he is the most loving and helpful kid any mother would dream to have.
I am a short time ago so frustrated at the impact he has on the rest of our family. He doesn't seem to enjoy any notion regarding family responsibility and nothing he learn (through experience) or through warnings seems to make any impact on him. He simply carries on regardless.
I wish I could put him in a boarding conservatory and just enjoy him on weekends while someone else puts up with his rot during the week!
Well now that you mention it, that is pretty sh*tty of you! He is a kid, deal next to it.
I think every mother who has a child next to some sort of disability has moments where they wish it could be somebody elses responsibility to embezzle care of for a little. Does not mean you are a unpromising parent, it means you are human, if anything.
Have you worked with doctors/therapists that specialize in this? They could support him learn the tools to function better and give you ideas on how to better cope.
Answers: Wow i think you are a terrible mother for saying that. Granted I know it's frustrating but you can't only ship your child off because you don't want to deal with him.
I hold a child with autism and while he's very trying at times, I could NEVER ever imagine my vivacity without him, let alone comtemplating shipping him off to boarding arts school.
i think you need to re-evaluate your priorities and get some mental serve.
ETA: Wow I can't believe these people saying that this woman isn't a terrible mother! It's one item to say "i wish I had a week off" compared to "dispatch him to boarding school all week and only see him on weekends". Source(s): <3 Mama of autistic 4 year ripened Tyler & 19 month old Riley <3
No your just tierd and you should think regardless of the reality he has ADD you should be thinking some women cant even have a baby.(and they DO enjoy med.for it
wow. as shocking as that sounds (and im sure you feel horrible foreboding the way you do)- i think all mothers of adjectives children, especially different ones- have these thoughts. but at the end of the day- you are his mother and it is your job to assistance for, teach, love, and encourage him. and im sure you already know that. it must be one of those bad days- and this is vent.
all you can do is tak eone day at a time and pray for strencth to pull you through the tough days. if you havent already, find out as much as you can something like ADD and programs for kids with it. maybe the pattern or lifestyle you hold mapped out for him currently isnt working- doesnt sound like it is anyway.
stay positive- he will nurture off your stress and negativity.
good luck
my mother said she wished the same thing when I be 10... and I had AD-HD... so yea... she said as I got older I calmed down deeply... just put him on medicine or whoop his ***... lmao
O.o by the way... I'm 16...
try going to see a consular and try visit a ADD research center. if you put your child in boarding school then you will never know how to work it with him. Try showing and helping him do stuff and reward him for doing it. he will soon learn and you will proud because you helped your son overcome ADD. And usually parents aren't competent to say that.
i HAVE TO AGREE WITH TY& RI'S MAMA
YOU SHOULDN'T BE SAYING YOU WANT TO SEND HIM TO BOARDING SCHOOL..
HE IS YOUR CHILD AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING HIM OUT.
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NO ONE ELSE'S!!
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COPE THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, BUT DUMPING YOUR CHILD SOMEWHERE ELSE IS NOT THE WAY...
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.. AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD AND LOOK AT THE GOOD THINGS HE DOES NOT THE BAD THINGS...
WE AS HUMANS ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BAD/MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE...
WHEN WE SHOULD LOOK AT THE GOOD/ ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF THOSE PEOPLE...
LIVE AND LEARN
LEARN AND LOVE
HE IS STILL YOUR CHILD. Source(s): MOM OF 2 BOYS...
No. That doesn't brand you a bad mother.
The kid is only 10 - he isn't going to understand the impact he have on the family.
You do need a break from this occasionally. Can you send him to Grandma's for the weekend? Have you tried medication - for the kid, not for you?
My friend's son is ADHD with a host of other problems. She has gotten him involved with the Mental Health Association through his university and involved with the YMCA. A counselor picks him up on Thursday evenings, and on Saturday mornings. Maybe you could check if there are programs like that contained by your areas so you can get a break. Try calling the United Way and asking what help might be available, or look in the phone book and see if within is a Mental Health Association where you live.
Good luck. You are not a bad mother for the way you quality.
You are a normal mother! When you enjoy a child with disabilities it is difficult. No one knows what you go through but you. I enjoy a child that is paralyzed and spent 10 weeks in a coma...10 years in the hospital etc. Many times I wish those years would go away and hurry up. Now I wish I wasn't so stressed I could remember half of what happen with the other children...but as a mother you can only be in one place at a time and do solely so much. Mothers have breaking points too. You are ok honey.believe me. You are doing the best you can.
We give so much of our time and soul to our children and when they are handicapped it is even tripled in masses ways.
have you read Erma Bombecks story on the handicapped child? One of the nurses back in 1985 give me this story and it made me cry. I hope it helps you too...
The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God adjectives over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great thoroughness and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes surrounded by a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so elated."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she mercy?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a the deep of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."
"I watch her today. She has that feeling of self and independence explicitly so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to donate her has his own world. She has to make him live within her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No business, I can fix that. This one is perfect -she has just ample selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a uprightness?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than reliable. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a "spoken word". She will consider a "step" ordinary. When her child say "Momma" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice.and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her duration, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
Please know God chose you for a reason. Many mothers hold difficult times and no one should judge one with a child that have a disability. Until they walk in those shoes...until they live with it afternoon to day..until they understand the guilt and the pain and the depression that comes beside it.NO one should judge you. Only the ignorant will and somehow you will have plenty in you to forgive them too.
God Bless you.you are ok. Hang in there..
In vivacity we are always confronted with ups and downs, we need to swot how to cope with these situations. You need to try and find some one to help you out next to your daily routine. This should make matters more bearable, own you been to see a Doctor to get some recommendations. I regard as in the long run if you can find some assistance and put him in some program to help accord with the ADD thing should improve. I don't chew over you should wish your son away, don't give up what ever you do you may regret it. Keep your chin up and Good Luck...
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On the other hand he can enjoy fantastic days where he is the most loving and helpful kid any mother would dream to have.
I am a short time ago so frustrated at the impact he has on the rest of our family. He doesn't seem to enjoy any notion regarding family responsibility and nothing he learn (through experience) or through warnings seems to make any impact on him. He simply carries on regardless.
I wish I could put him in a boarding conservatory and just enjoy him on weekends while someone else puts up with his rot during the week!
Well now that you mention it, that is pretty sh*tty of you! He is a kid, deal next to it.
I think every mother who has a child next to some sort of disability has moments where they wish it could be somebody elses responsibility to embezzle care of for a little. Does not mean you are a unpromising parent, it means you are human, if anything.
Have you worked with doctors/therapists that specialize in this? They could support him learn the tools to function better and give you ideas on how to better cope.
Answers: Wow i think you are a terrible mother for saying that. Granted I know it's frustrating but you can't only ship your child off because you don't want to deal with him.
I hold a child with autism and while he's very trying at times, I could NEVER ever imagine my vivacity without him, let alone comtemplating shipping him off to boarding arts school.
i think you need to re-evaluate your priorities and get some mental serve.
ETA: Wow I can't believe these people saying that this woman isn't a terrible mother! It's one item to say "i wish I had a week off" compared to "dispatch him to boarding school all week and only see him on weekends". Source(s): <3 Mama of autistic 4 year ripened Tyler & 19 month old Riley <3
No your just tierd and you should think regardless of the reality he has ADD you should be thinking some women cant even have a baby.(and they DO enjoy med.for it
wow. as shocking as that sounds (and im sure you feel horrible foreboding the way you do)- i think all mothers of adjectives children, especially different ones- have these thoughts. but at the end of the day- you are his mother and it is your job to assistance for, teach, love, and encourage him. and im sure you already know that. it must be one of those bad days- and this is vent.
all you can do is tak eone day at a time and pray for strencth to pull you through the tough days. if you havent already, find out as much as you can something like ADD and programs for kids with it. maybe the pattern or lifestyle you hold mapped out for him currently isnt working- doesnt sound like it is anyway.
stay positive- he will nurture off your stress and negativity.
good luck
my mother said she wished the same thing when I be 10... and I had AD-HD... so yea... she said as I got older I calmed down deeply... just put him on medicine or whoop his ***... lmao
O.o by the way... I'm 16...
try going to see a consular and try visit a ADD research center. if you put your child in boarding school then you will never know how to work it with him. Try showing and helping him do stuff and reward him for doing it. he will soon learn and you will proud because you helped your son overcome ADD. And usually parents aren't competent to say that.
i HAVE TO AGREE WITH TY& RI'S MAMA
YOU SHOULDN'T BE SAYING YOU WANT TO SEND HIM TO BOARDING SCHOOL..
HE IS YOUR CHILD AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING HIM OUT.
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NO ONE ELSE'S!!
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COPE THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, BUT DUMPING YOUR CHILD SOMEWHERE ELSE IS NOT THE WAY...
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.. AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD AND LOOK AT THE GOOD THINGS HE DOES NOT THE BAD THINGS...
WE AS HUMANS ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BAD/MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE...
WHEN WE SHOULD LOOK AT THE GOOD/ ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF THOSE PEOPLE...
LIVE AND LEARN
LEARN AND LOVE
HE IS STILL YOUR CHILD. Source(s): MOM OF 2 BOYS...
No. That doesn't brand you a bad mother.
The kid is only 10 - he isn't going to understand the impact he have on the family.
You do need a break from this occasionally. Can you send him to Grandma's for the weekend? Have you tried medication - for the kid, not for you?
My friend's son is ADHD with a host of other problems. She has gotten him involved with the Mental Health Association through his university and involved with the YMCA. A counselor picks him up on Thursday evenings, and on Saturday mornings. Maybe you could check if there are programs like that contained by your areas so you can get a break. Try calling the United Way and asking what help might be available, or look in the phone book and see if within is a Mental Health Association where you live.
Good luck. You are not a bad mother for the way you quality.
You are a normal mother! When you enjoy a child with disabilities it is difficult. No one knows what you go through but you. I enjoy a child that is paralyzed and spent 10 weeks in a coma...10 years in the hospital etc. Many times I wish those years would go away and hurry up. Now I wish I wasn't so stressed I could remember half of what happen with the other children...but as a mother you can only be in one place at a time and do solely so much. Mothers have breaking points too. You are ok honey.believe me. You are doing the best you can.
We give so much of our time and soul to our children and when they are handicapped it is even tripled in masses ways.
have you read Erma Bombecks story on the handicapped child? One of the nurses back in 1985 give me this story and it made me cry. I hope it helps you too...
The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God adjectives over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great thoroughness and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes surrounded by a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so elated."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she mercy?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a the deep of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."
"I watch her today. She has that feeling of self and independence explicitly so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to donate her has his own world. She has to make him live within her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No business, I can fix that. This one is perfect -she has just ample selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a uprightness?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than reliable. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a "spoken word". She will consider a "step" ordinary. When her child say "Momma" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice.and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her duration, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
Please know God chose you for a reason. Many mothers hold difficult times and no one should judge one with a child that have a disability. Until they walk in those shoes...until they live with it afternoon to day..until they understand the guilt and the pain and the depression that comes beside it.NO one should judge you. Only the ignorant will and somehow you will have plenty in you to forgive them too.
God Bless you.you are ok. Hang in there..
In vivacity we are always confronted with ups and downs, we need to swot how to cope with these situations. You need to try and find some one to help you out next to your daily routine. This should make matters more bearable, own you been to see a Doctor to get some recommendations. I regard as in the long run if you can find some assistance and put him in some program to help accord with the ADD thing should improve. I don't chew over you should wish your son away, don't give up what ever you do you may regret it. Keep your chin up and Good Luck...
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