Advice on how to business near this? Feeling gone out on chief outings near child and ex?
We still do activities together as a "family" but lately, my ex is taking it upon himself to "own" these outings. He insists on taking our daughter around, picking the exhibits, and walking around without me, I have to follow them and if I verbs to the next exhibit by myself (as he's pointedly ignoring my involvement), he'll take her and stand somewhere else. It feel like it's all between him and her, and I don't care for the passion of being left out when these are supposed to be group outings. I picked and paid for these endeavours because I wanted t experience them with HER and I invited him along because I didn't want him to miss out, yet i'm the one who ends up missing out presently.
Any advice?
Does he get special time alone beside his daughter too/? Or are you always right there when he tries to see her or do something special with her? ... I can't totally remember your situation.
I try to plan occasional group outings beside my ex and my daughter too. And I often end up paying. - It isn't about him individual a free loader or whatever the other person said. It's about making sure my little girl get to spend some quality time with her Daddy. Since I can't trust him alone with her and because I know she like time with Mommy and Daddy doing stuff together - I think these group outings are a good opinion.
What I do, and hope you do too, is try to make sure there are some outings where they do catch to go off on their own for a portion of it. Example: I'll sit and read a book or stand by with a camera to takeover the memories while Cheyenne and her dad focus on each other. But in return, I sometimes grab my little girl and say-so "Daddy, we need a few minutes of girl time." Then he is left to be bored for 5 minutes or so. ... It isn't a perfect solution, but it is closer to reasonable than what you are apparently going through.
If he gets some time with his daughter and still tries to take over - try have a talk with him. Tell him something like "You can come to the aquarium next to us Friday afternoon, but we have to stay together as a group. - I want to enjoy the experience with our daughter as much as you do.
If that doesn't work ... You could speech to your daughter and find out if she would like to stick closer to you. If so, come out and ask her to stay with you every few minutes and leave him to follow. And if that doesn't work, you may simply have to limit the number of group trips y'all hold and remember to take a few with just your daughter and yourself. You can other take pictures to show him what a good time y'all have.
Good luck working it out. I'm glad to see other people who take the time to try and keep things friendly beside their ex :)
I think that since you two are no longer an "item" that you should start to separate these endeavours and let him do some stuff with her alone, and then do alike thing with her at another time alone as well. That road she gets use to the fact that maybe adjectives the time it won't be you him and her.
Maybe he can be trusted for small periods of time say an hour or two with her alone? That may also alleviate the tension between the two of you.
Don't invite him. Do your things beside her and if he wants to plan his own time, then that's on him.
What other answer could there be?
dont lift the x with you. i mean its obvious he doesnt want to be near you, so let him do things with the child on his own. either mode the child is going to suffer because the family is split up, why try to make it more confusing by haveing daddy here for this but not for that. if your not together than dont be together. it will save you adjectives the trouble. your kid can still have fun doing things with just you.
Why the H E L L are you paying for him? He is such a free loading loser!
Okay, you not lone pick what you do but you pay as well then this fool act like he doesn't want you there? He has is soooooo jammy and he is taking that for granted. He's lucky you are so kind.
Don't invite him anymore. If he wants to spend time with his daughter he can pick and rate and make an effort.
I don't know why but this guy just pisses me past its sell-by date! Maybe because he reminds me so much of my own father. My mother always took care of everything for him- he didn't have to put within any effort.
Sorry for the rant...lol.
Don't invite him subsequent time so he knows how you feel.
You shouldn't be biting your tongue, you have every right to enjoy that time beside your daughter as a family, as intended. Set him straight. Tell him that he and your daughter are very much entitled to enjoy the light of day together, but no way in hell should you be left out of the mix because of his possessiveness.
I would either talk to him about it, and try to resolve it, or not invite him anymore.
I construe it's simple.
I know there are feelings involved, but it seems pretty black and white.
Or you know, tolerate him pick, let him pay, and just stand past its sell-by date to the side, and assume that role for your daughter.
I have done this with my ex, except he doesnt drive, and wont pay, so I brought him and Brody to the Mcdonalds play nouns and let them play...I sat off to the side.
He be done in 20 minutes. And hasnt seen him since. That was the first drop by in 4 months, and it was about 3 weeks ago.
Answers: you sound like an unusually fully grown parent for even trying the group outings with your ex in the first place. maybe he's simply not to that level. but i'd give a try talking to him roughly speaking how you're feeling left out. if that doesn't do the trick, i'd just consider how critical to your child the group outings are. if i thought they were very important to her, i'd hold doing them and keep my annoyance to myself (but save the places i really wanted to travel for when we were alone). if not, i'd start doing things separately, instead.
Do you still have feelings for him? Cause, I can't relieve but wonder, given the circumstances you listed... If not, I can understand why you still do 'family' outings, but is the child old adequate to know that it may one day end? That you---or her dad---may find someone else, and that someone else probably won't be too keen on the two of you lifeless out with your daughter, with all appearances truism you're a family... Just checking, as I wouldn't want to send mixed messages, or get hopes up.
Anyway, if you don't want to be disappeared out, let them go by themselves, and enjoy their time together, or only let it go... Most important, is how your daughter feel, and if she's enjoying herself, that's what matters.
*edit* Just read your additional details... Okay. But, if it bothered me, I would purely not go, or, I'd go, but make sure it's my daughter who is have the swell time... Isn't that the point, if you and your ex aren't together? Source(s): Married, with 4 kids.
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Any advice?
Does he get special time alone beside his daughter too/? Or are you always right there when he tries to see her or do something special with her? ... I can't totally remember your situation.
I try to plan occasional group outings beside my ex and my daughter too. And I often end up paying. - It isn't about him individual a free loader or whatever the other person said. It's about making sure my little girl get to spend some quality time with her Daddy. Since I can't trust him alone with her and because I know she like time with Mommy and Daddy doing stuff together - I think these group outings are a good opinion.
What I do, and hope you do too, is try to make sure there are some outings where they do catch to go off on their own for a portion of it. Example: I'll sit and read a book or stand by with a camera to takeover the memories while Cheyenne and her dad focus on each other. But in return, I sometimes grab my little girl and say-so "Daddy, we need a few minutes of girl time." Then he is left to be bored for 5 minutes or so. ... It isn't a perfect solution, but it is closer to reasonable than what you are apparently going through.
If he gets some time with his daughter and still tries to take over - try have a talk with him. Tell him something like "You can come to the aquarium next to us Friday afternoon, but we have to stay together as a group. - I want to enjoy the experience with our daughter as much as you do.
If that doesn't work ... You could speech to your daughter and find out if she would like to stick closer to you. If so, come out and ask her to stay with you every few minutes and leave him to follow. And if that doesn't work, you may simply have to limit the number of group trips y'all hold and remember to take a few with just your daughter and yourself. You can other take pictures to show him what a good time y'all have.
Good luck working it out. I'm glad to see other people who take the time to try and keep things friendly beside their ex :)
I think that since you two are no longer an "item" that you should start to separate these endeavours and let him do some stuff with her alone, and then do alike thing with her at another time alone as well. That road she gets use to the fact that maybe adjectives the time it won't be you him and her.
Maybe he can be trusted for small periods of time say an hour or two with her alone? That may also alleviate the tension between the two of you.
Don't invite him. Do your things beside her and if he wants to plan his own time, then that's on him.
What other answer could there be?
dont lift the x with you. i mean its obvious he doesnt want to be near you, so let him do things with the child on his own. either mode the child is going to suffer because the family is split up, why try to make it more confusing by haveing daddy here for this but not for that. if your not together than dont be together. it will save you adjectives the trouble. your kid can still have fun doing things with just you.
Why the H E L L are you paying for him? He is such a free loading loser!
Okay, you not lone pick what you do but you pay as well then this fool act like he doesn't want you there? He has is soooooo jammy and he is taking that for granted. He's lucky you are so kind.
Don't invite him anymore. If he wants to spend time with his daughter he can pick and rate and make an effort.
I don't know why but this guy just pisses me past its sell-by date! Maybe because he reminds me so much of my own father. My mother always took care of everything for him- he didn't have to put within any effort.
Sorry for the rant...lol.
Don't invite him subsequent time so he knows how you feel.
You shouldn't be biting your tongue, you have every right to enjoy that time beside your daughter as a family, as intended. Set him straight. Tell him that he and your daughter are very much entitled to enjoy the light of day together, but no way in hell should you be left out of the mix because of his possessiveness.
I would either talk to him about it, and try to resolve it, or not invite him anymore.
I construe it's simple.
I know there are feelings involved, but it seems pretty black and white.
Or you know, tolerate him pick, let him pay, and just stand past its sell-by date to the side, and assume that role for your daughter.
I have done this with my ex, except he doesnt drive, and wont pay, so I brought him and Brody to the Mcdonalds play nouns and let them play...I sat off to the side.
He be done in 20 minutes. And hasnt seen him since. That was the first drop by in 4 months, and it was about 3 weeks ago.
Answers: you sound like an unusually fully grown parent for even trying the group outings with your ex in the first place. maybe he's simply not to that level. but i'd give a try talking to him roughly speaking how you're feeling left out. if that doesn't do the trick, i'd just consider how critical to your child the group outings are. if i thought they were very important to her, i'd hold doing them and keep my annoyance to myself (but save the places i really wanted to travel for when we were alone). if not, i'd start doing things separately, instead.
Do you still have feelings for him? Cause, I can't relieve but wonder, given the circumstances you listed... If not, I can understand why you still do 'family' outings, but is the child old adequate to know that it may one day end? That you---or her dad---may find someone else, and that someone else probably won't be too keen on the two of you lifeless out with your daughter, with all appearances truism you're a family... Just checking, as I wouldn't want to send mixed messages, or get hopes up.
Anyway, if you don't want to be disappeared out, let them go by themselves, and enjoy their time together, or only let it go... Most important, is how your daughter feel, and if she's enjoying herself, that's what matters.
*edit* Just read your additional details... Okay. But, if it bothered me, I would purely not go, or, I'd go, but make sure it's my daughter who is have the swell time... Isn't that the point, if you and your ex aren't together? Source(s): Married, with 4 kids.
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