15y/o caught drinking AGAIN!?
ur making ur decisions based on obsession. which is normal for a parent. but at the same time u have to crust that back for a second and look at the big picture. yes its risky, yes its unacceptable and yes it could lead to horrible outcomes except controlled but trust me when i tell u this: if u are too strict; she will rebel. point blank, she will find a way to do it anyway and this time she'll be a better fraud about it. kids will drink, im sure u did as a kid, we all tried things. the idea, as im sure u know, is to minimize it or carry it in her head that binging and irresponsibility has consequences. Take her to a defending drivers course, those videos typically show things to shock the viewer out of being unsafe. look online for articles she can read roughly things that can happen. give her the information, the tools but DONT try to make the finding for her as much. its better when she can decide for herself. it will stick.
my mom was the strictest mom on the planet. never let me dance out for fear of what could happen. practically kept me in a box. and i STILL found a road to lose my V by 16. ground her, but don't be her enemy. you run the risk of her simply doing it out of spite. Source(s): life experience
"We grounded her for 2 1/2 months no phone,computer,friends...we are making her quit cheer (something to be exact a huge part of her)...she is not allowed to close her bedroom door (because she lost our trust so therefore doesn't deserve privacy"
I'd drink, too.
its part of being a pubescent they all go through it your doing the right thing but also try joining a bible beleiving church that will give support to also.
those are kinda doomed to failure you should lay off alittle
Sounds to me close to you all are doing the right things. I would also have her attend an AA meeting newly so she can see where drinking can lead and what problems it can cause.
If I had see this before I answered your other question on this, I would have answered even rigorously.
This is your daughter's second offense. Now you can't believe a single word that comes out of her mouth as it is all lies, designed to avoid the consequences of her criminal actions (underage drinking). Obviously her punishment wasn't severe enough the first time and in a minute you need to put the fear of God into her! Providing you live in the United States, adjectives of the following is lawful:
Take away ALL her privileges. You do not have to give her anything but food (it can even be cold...it should be nutritious but not a soul said it had to taste good), a change of clothing, rudimentary education and health care, and a roof over her chief. She has no property rights and no rights to privacy either. Remember that!
So start by grounding her for a minimum of six months to a year, and when you have to jump out, do not leave her unattended. Take her with you or hire a "babysitter" for her and if she feels humiliated, too bleak. She has lost the right to be unattended. Do not let her leave the house lacking either you or your husband or another designated adult to supervise her. And if she continued to be rebellious and untrustworthy, I would bearing her to and from school. And then I would even supervise her in the bathroom. It is endorsed for an adult parent of the SAME SEX to supervise an untrustworthy minor in the bathroom and in a state of undress. Make sure that you hold her randomly tested for drugs and alcohol (this is her SECOND offense, remember?)!
Take away all her belongings (clothing, jewelry, posters, cds, dvds, Ipod, cell phone, sports equipment, etc.) and either furnish them away or sell them. She has no property rights as a minor. And I would refuse her the use of the TV, ipod (sell it or junk it), stereo, radio, dvd/vcr player, cell phone (sell it), telephone (if you permit her to use it, you listen on an extension phone), or any other form of entertainment.
Also, remove the door to the room you travel document her to sleep in. And you can even take the lightbulb out of her room; I recommend it. Then subject her and her room to searches at any and adjectives times. You need to leave her a mattress on the floor, a pair of sheets, 2 sets of clothing (YOU grasp to choose them and you can buy them from a thrift store if you choose), two towels, a pair of shoes, a Bible, her school books, and nothing else.
Put some sort of "lattice nanny" on the computer and if you permit her to use the computer, stand over her shoulder and read all of her emails, instant messages, and other web communications. And if you don't resembling who she is communicating with, ban them. Also, supervise anywhere she goes on the internet. And as you would expect, read all her regular mail and supervise the opening of any packages she may receive. You do not hold to give any of her mail to her as she is a minor under your control.
And adjectives extracurricular activities would be banned (no sports, no cheer camp, no cheer, nothing). There would be no drivers ed, no driver's license (not even when she turns 16, simply when YOU decide she is mature enough, not before), no prom. Remember...no privileges routine no privileges. She needs to earn back your trust and be completely obedient to your requests (doing chores, attitude changed, etc.) past you even consider returning one privileges that YOU choose, not her.
And then check out state law. In many states, it is official for a parent to seize their child's earnings and apply them to the child's board. If this is the case, spawn her get a part-time job and request the employer to pay cheque you instead of her.
Are you being unreasonable? No, not at all. In fact, within my ever so humble opinion, you are not going far enough. She has to be PUNISHED AND CORRECTED very soon before it is too late. She is too young to drink and this is her SECOND offense. She hasn't widely read a thing from her previous punishment except to say honeyed words that get her smaller amount punishment than her offense deserves. You are the parent. You have a duty to teach her to respect and obey the canon. If she will not, you are responsible for her. So you must correct her now while she is still young enough to changeover. And remember this, if she does drink again, she could kill herself from alcohol poisoning. Remember that and be resolute and united with your husband within punishing her even harsher than you already decided upon.
One last thing. When college starts up, go to her principal and teachers and explain that she has be caught drinking twice and that you have chosen to punish her by restricting her movements, privacy, and possessions as permitted under the law. And that she may choose to complain and rioter to her teachers over her lawful correction and that if she does so, you wish to be informed. If that happen, six months of a boot or wilderness camp in Arizona, Texas, or Utah will nip that contained by the bud!
Take care and sta
This isn't going to be a popular answer, but I would recommend a good old-fashioned paddling. IT WORKS! Also, when she is allowed to go out beside friends again, I would invest in a breathalyzer-they aren't that expensive and test her randomly.
We merely started using the Total Transformation thing at church for a Parenting class. Let me tell you, this course is AMAZING!!
http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?u…
According to his beliefs this punishment may be a little ruthless.
We are learning that
1--Consequences should put limits on children
2--Consequences should encourage a child to behave properly
3--Consequences should kind children responsible for their behavior.
A consequence is not punishment or retaliation. It does you no good to just exert power over a child by making them feel small. Punishment is ineffective because it doesn't enjoy a learning experience built into it.
Punishment=Don't do it again
Consequence=Don't do it again.and here's how.
My sister in law freshly recently decided to put her foot down, similar to your consequences listed, near her 16 year old son.
He moved in with a drug agent to get away from her crazy rules. Now he's gotten into much worse trouble and she can't convince him to come back home.
Be careful.
Kids are smart.treat them that agency. Can you say honestly that you didn't drink until the legal age? Are you mad almost the drinking or the lying? Grounding makes everyone want to do it more. And be certain you are giving her the RIGHT reasons why it bothers you.
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