What to do when someone ELSE hits your child.?

A few days ago I was at a play date with a woman who has a son a month elder than mine. He is less active than my son, meaning he does not stride yet and is very even tempered. My son instead is a little ball of fire at one years old. He runs around and loves to win into everything, typical of course. He has lately gotten into a phase of slapping me, not out of anger just to see what my impulse is so I usually ignore this or tell him "ow, no." but I never hit him back.

Any approach, I was at this play date with her and her son along with her sister (who have been a friend of mine for 5+ years now) and I told her about my son's new attention grabber. She said that if he hit her, he'd be getting a hypersensitivity, I ignored this comment as I wasn't sure what she meant. A few minutes later he be trying to play with her son on the floor and started to slap. Her son didn't cry, just looked around kind of confused. She come right over to my son, took his hand, and slapped it. The look my baby gave me after this happen broke my heart in two but I did not say anything yet. After my son bit her baby's finger (not out of spite, anger, etc) and he started to cry she lost it and slapped my son on the HEAD and after on his hands.

What gave her the right to do this? Why did she think she could ever put a appendage on mine or anyone else's child. I told her we did not believe in hitting our son and if we ever did it wouldn't be her place. I then left, terrifically angry. Needless to say that won't be a place for play dates ever again. I was a short time ago utterly shocked and appalled at what had happened.

Has anyone ever had this appear to them and what did you do? I just can't get over the look on my son's face, it have been haunting me and I feel like I should own said more to her. I feel so guilty that she did this to him. I know that for some children, what my son did was normal behavior and he would never INTENTIONALLY hit another child to hurt them..Why would someone be so expect to a baby?
she'd be getting ur butt chewed out
The individual thing worse then her reaction contained by YOUR reaction. After the first slap, why didn't you tell her NOT to touch your baby? And why on mud did you let her do it again. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and your newborn.
You stated (and I quote):

"She come right over to my son, took his hand, and slapped it. The look my baby gave me after this happen broke my heart in two but I did not say anything. What gave her the right to do this? Why did she focus she could ever put a hand on mine or anyone else's child."

Because you didn't do anything when she first hit your child. However, her behavior is inexcusable!! The good thing is even though your son give you that look, he will not remember the incident and he by no means will blame you. Having said that, DON'T ever see this woman again!
i dont consider a slap on the paw "hitting"
its not a big deal
BUT she should have asked you to do something considering u were right within
That woman had no right at adjectives ...she was totally out of line ,for one thing he is not her child ,for another he is basically a baby and hitting is not appropriate ...I would be angry too and to hit his head ! well that be way out of line ..the first time you were surrounded by shock so don't feel bad .The woman may have be protecting her own kid but that is no excuse to abuse yours .I had a neighbor who be always taking his sons side over mine ,you know what I mean ...everything was my child's guiltiness no matter what his kid did .I limited the play time because the father would yell at my son even when his kid be the problem .But one day my son went to get a toy hindmost off the other boy and they tugged at the toy ,then his son scratched my boys face ..The father jump in ,pulled them apart and hit MY son on the back side ...I was so angry .I stopped the kids playing together at adjectives ...I was told by some I was over reacting but that man hit my son ..And when I suggested to him the boys play contained by my yard with only my supervision or next to the boys grandmother rather than the father but the father refused saying I be accusing him of being a bad father ?..It was his courtyard they played in or not at all .well he be not going to get to hit my boy ever again ! .
I would have said something to BOTH of them right away.

First of all, you cannot ignore your kid when he hits or bites.That is not fitting parenting and you are basically letting him know it is ok to do those things.You need to tell him NO surrounded by a firm voice.It doesn't matter if he did it to hurt someone else or to get their attention.He needs to know that it wasn't right.

It be not right of her to punish your child in any way especially hitting him.Next time something like that happen, let them know that it is your responsibility to punish your child, not theirs.
I want you to read this but please don't attain offended. Children must be scolded when they do things like that. I'm a mother myself and i guess i'm a moment or two old fashioned about things. There is a difference between a spanking and a beating. It is never okay to flay a child or hit them. But a little slap on the hand or swat on the bottom doesn't hurt, it really just hurts their mood. I understand why that woman did what she did, but she should have composed herself and said something to you instead of put her hands on your son. My cousin's son is totally mean and he does all the same things you describe your son doing.(they don't spank him any by the way.) For a while they tried spankings (NOT beatings) and he was doing great. He started behaving more, afterwards they decided not to anymore and now he's back to his hoary self. I won't allow her around him anymore. If you don't get Control of him now, i promise you WILL regret it. Eventually people will stop coming around you. He will own problems in school. I am not being aim, i'm being honest. Good luck. Remember YOU are the parent. It's your job to make sure he turns out right. Discipline is the push button to success.
I agree, she had no right to physically discipline your son.

However, it doesn't sound resembling you were stepping up to the plate to do anything yourself. I can tell you, that if my son were small, and we go on a playdate, and the other child was slapping and biting my child, and his mother sat there and did nought, I wouldn't be back, and I would speak my mind. Ignoring him isn't going to teach him it's unacceptable. If anything, he will verbs to escalate until he gets a reaction.

My son was a handful as a toddler as in good health, but I can honestly tell you, I never sat idle and watch him bully another baby. I also didn't let him get away next to smacking me. You have more options than smacking and ignoring. There are other ways to drill your child the difference between right and wrong, and believe it or not, he's not too young to learn. You need to address this past it gets worse.
no one have the right to hit your child, but maybe just saying ow no and departing at that when your son hits other people isn't working, put him in time out separate him from the other kids and tell him he is prohibited to hit people it's not nice, I believe hitting a child when they have hit you will only dispatch mixed messages... I would stay well away from this person and when they contact you tell them that you would not similar to anymore contact.
Seriously, bring assault charges against this woman. You showed a large amount of restraint. Im sure my impulse would have been to smack her upside the go before until her brains came out her ears. (that is to say if she has brains). I could not enjoy left it at that, but very seriously, file a police report.
If she did that surrounded by public to YOUR kid, imagine what she does to her kid behind closed doors.

Israel: In this instance there are no two sides to the argument.
Curb you child!

The other person was wrong to touch your child... However...

You are failing to parent your own child, and you hold no right to allow your child to hit, slap, and especially bite another persons child. For you to see that, and allow it, without scolding and disciplining your child is as wrong as the other person doing it for you.

You are hurting yourself and your child by failing to discipline your child right from the start. Correcting a child with a hand slap, or a spank to the bottom, a severe scolding for biting, and teaching the child right from wrong is parenting and much different than hiding a child.

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Its the children whose parents fail to discipline them early, who later try to discipline them and read out where did I go wrong when their 15 or 16 year old points a gun at them, or ends up surrounded by jail for crimes their parents could have taught them not to do.

Parenting isn't comfortable, that is why it starts with something called labor. Tough-Love raise good children. If you practice it, it will hurt your heart but you will end up with a child you'll be proud of.

Stop trying to love your child next to kindness. Try loving him with being a parent. There'll be plenty of time to show your consideration when he's grown and you can reward his goodness.
Maybe she felt she could show you how to do it the "right' way. I don't believe within slapping a one year old. They don't even know left from right at that age!

She was WAY odd and should KNOW her place when it comes to other peoples children. I could see if your son was 5-6 and slapped the kid or bit his finger, then I'd be kind of waiting for the mothers spontaneous effect to rectify this not just by saying no.

You definitely did the right point and kudos to you for not succumbing to the same childish thing your kid is doing.. which is slapping.
They obvioulsy want to teach children that it is ok to hit, especially someone who is smaller,and less powerful than you.

You did the right item - and maybe should have done it sooner, but did the right thing.
It is never right for a person to hit another person's child, ever. You should speak up and tell her that you are upset by this behavior and that it is *your* responsibility to discipline your child, not hers and that you won't tolerate it.

That said, if you stand by and allow your child to bite and hit another child, that mother is going to get upset. One year olds are specified for this behavior, and while they don't yet understand that they're hurting people, they do inevitability to be taught it's wrong. I'm not saying you have to smack your son's foot every time he hits, but he should hear a firm "no" so that he can learn his behavior is unacceptable. If he's hurting another child, simply move him to another part of the room and right to be heard "no hitting" or "no biting". Eventually, it will start to sink in and you'll find the incidents are happening less frequently.

EDIT:
Sorry, I didn't realize you have done anything. You were absolutely right in this situation. And even if you hadn't done anything, she still shouldn't enjoy hit your son. If she had a problem, she should have just said something to you. Source(s): Mother of 2.
Oh my, how could she slap him on the guide? I know a few parents who will give their child a little pop on the hand when he's messing next to something that he knows he's not suppose to mess with. But I've never seen anyone hit a child on the skipper. I think you had every right to react the bearing you did.
Oh I would have completely lost it. A little touch on the hand is pushing it, but not enough for me to make a scene nearly. But smacking him on the head was WAY out of line.
If it be my daughter that woman did that to, you can guarantee that she would be getting quite the earful. Away from the kids of course, but I also wouldn't have pulled her away kindly. She wants to be rough with someone else's child, the parents should be rough with her.
And it wouldn't own been me leaving in the ruin. It would have been her, out of embarrassment.
It is never okay to hit someone else's child. Ever. She should enjoy left the discipline up to you.

But good job on you for handling it so okay. You kept your cool a heck of a lot better than I would have.
u should've slapped her silly. how dare she touch your child. don't feel like u didn't do plenty u at least told her something and took your child away from her. i feel bad for her child. poor child will probably get hit alot.
I can't believe she would have the nerve to do that! If someone's son be hitting mine and he was only a year old, I would probably take hold of that child's hand and give him a stern "no!", but I wouldn't hit him. And the reality that she hit him on the head...I would have probably hit HER after that.
Answers:    She should never have hit your child. End of story...

However you need to see by this that ignore his slapping habit is not working. When he slaps you or someone else he needs to be told firmly that it is wrong and hurtful as he presently knows and that hitting is not acceptable. Then he should get a time out.

Be consistent and he will apprehend. He does not need to be hit, but shown that hitting others, even for play, is not right.

Good luck and I wouldn't hang out with your friends sister anymore.
I would have slapped her...but you need to call attention to your son as in good health...how would you feel if someone else's kid was hitting yours? It would break your heart as well wouldn't it ? I would be silly if you just let your kid hit mine and didn't say anything to him at smallest.but I would not hit your child, that would just be the last play date.
Good - you shouldn't let your son slap you- not very smart on your part - you nouns weak!

If you don't discipline your own kids then someone else will- take it as a lesson:)
Wow. I would have to say-so that the other woman's reaction was totally uncalled for. A soft tap on the paw is one thing, but she was wrong to carry it farther than that.
Most people believe babies understand the world as we do. So they treat the baby like that. Tell her exactly how you have a feeling and stick to it. It will get easier to deal with, but if this be to happen again then don't let it budge so easily, that's all you really can do. I am sorry that happened, I know when my son plays next to his cousin and his cousins will "hit" him and my son cries it's hard for me to see him hurt (even though it's not intentional). So this has got to be resembling 20X harder...
Many people are saying "OMG I can't believe she hit her" and have the belief that it's oh so bad to slap a child on the hand...including you. You have to look at adjectives aspects of the situation. Obviously you haven't thought of how she must have felt when YOUR child was hitting hers. She's a mother, and only like you, she feels the need to protect her child. Also, you haven't clearly stated how she was raised. Latinos give the right to anybody who see their child acting in a disgraceful manner to punish them, even if that child is not theirs. It's safe to articulate that anybody who is immigrant raised knows that punishing a child by hitting it is very adjectives. However, it really does annoy me that Americans love to butt in to people's lives and tell parents not to hit their children because it's bad. In my families' satchel, punishing by hitting is amazing because I was raised that way, and, unlike my little brother who informed the police when my mother spanked him, I respect my elder. My little brother laughs at my mother when she gets her angry voice while my older brother and I are terrified.

I'm sorry I go off topic, but yeah, you need to look at both sides of the argument...I agree that nobody should hit someone else's child...it creates too much of a sticky situation...but she might have looked-for to take the matter of eliminating your son's dependence into her own hands when your son hit her son!
I definitely judge it is your right and even your responsibility to spank your child's hand or bottom if he is being harmful to himself or others or disobeys surrounded by a life threatening situation (like running toward the street) But this is your right and responsibilty along with his father and it ends there. in recent times you 2. She had no right to lay a finger on him especially when you were sitting right there to settlement with it. if she was unhappy near the way you were handling it she should have asked you to address your son, indeed not slapped him in the head! She was so out of row, but you sound like you handeled yourself the best way possible. I prolly would hold clocked the lady in the nose and that clearly wouldnt be a good example now would it?! You should definately be more serious about your son's hitting though not to humiliate it but like you said, tell him its not nice and stuff.
"Dare to Discipline" is a great book on different methods & everything. I totally think spanking works for some kids & not for others & its virtuous to figure out your son's best reaction to different disciplines. Example, my son HATED time out cause he loved to socialize so much that self alone drove him crazy, whereas my daughter had a huge imagination and was fine sitting in her room for HOURS a short time ago thinking away. Spanking was a fate worse then departure to her, but my son would much rather take it & get it over beside so he could get back to playing!
I'd have let the paw slap go, because that is as far as I am concerned the proper response. And if someone else's child was hitting mine, I would not sit on my *** waiting for their parents to do something almost it, I would do something about it.

But you never hit a child in the head, or the torso. Those can respectively cause severe and unintended damage.

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