Ambivalence around have kids?
I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and end week we started talking about getting engaged. He suggested getting some pre-marital counseling which I presume if a good idea. One issue that I've been grappling beside is deciding whether or not I want kids. My feelings have be mixed; on one level I think I'd have closely to offer as a mother but on the other hand, I'm scared. Also, my own mother have been trying to talk me out of having kids for years even when I expressed an interest. The truth is is that I've be reading a lot of negative stories from mothers complaining about how much it sucks, but I know that's singular one side of it. I also read an article about a mother with an autistic child which created a frightening picture (I was thinking "what if that happen to me?") I told my boyfriend that I didn't really want kids but now I'm starting to rethink it (which I mentioned to him btw). After traveling with him to meet his own flesh and blood and seeing how he is with his nieces, I don't want to close myself off from that possibility. My thought was that if I did hold kids, I would only do so under the right circumstances. My boyfriend is the most considerate, kind, loving and affectionate man and I perceive privledged to have him in my life. Plus, I presume he'd be extremely supportive, too. I didn't have the best childhood myself which can also be a reason not to, but at the same time I chew over it's made me more sensitive and aware, too. Is it normal to have these feelings?
Answers: Yes,it's average to feel that way,because I feel impossible to tell apart way.You look at how other people children act next to their bad behavior than your like No,I don't want kids but,then you see how cute and sweet they are than you tuning your mind again.So,yeah. I know how you feel.What you need to do is look deep down surrounded by yourself ask,are you up for the challenge? Not everyone is meant to be a parent.Raising kids is hard work,especially surrounded by today's world with the government trying to take control over everything and everyone.So,accurate luck to you and your decision.
You don't mention your age so it is hard to judge where on earth you are in your life.
I too was completely ambivalent in the order of kids - so much so that when I got married, my husband and I did not even talk about it much. It be kind of a far off in the adjectives idea. And we were both 30 at the time! I just wasn't at that place within my life yet. So years go by and I'm still thinking I have all sorts of time and one day we decided to try for one child. We agreed one would be wonderful and that it time.
Fast forward 10 years and here I am, 46 years old with 3 kids ages 9, 5 and 2. After that first one, we said ' oh man, we gotta do this again'. In many ways I regret waiting so long even though I know I be not ready earlier. I wish I be younger with my kids, only for the reason of anyone here on the planet with them longer.
Having kids was a complete turnaround in my energy. There have been so many change to me, my perspective on life, my ideals, my goals. Past all the rock-hard stuff, all the work, all the finances, all the emotionally and physically exhausting stuff, nearby is the sheer joy and true love that you cannot duplicate anywhere in life.
And you can verbs about autism and a host of other problems but that is like living your life span waiting to be hit by a car. It can happen to anyone.
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Answers: Yes,it's average to feel that way,because I feel impossible to tell apart way.You look at how other people children act next to their bad behavior than your like No,I don't want kids but,then you see how cute and sweet they are than you tuning your mind again.So,yeah. I know how you feel.What you need to do is look deep down surrounded by yourself ask,are you up for the challenge? Not everyone is meant to be a parent.Raising kids is hard work,especially surrounded by today's world with the government trying to take control over everything and everyone.So,accurate luck to you and your decision.
You don't mention your age so it is hard to judge where on earth you are in your life.
I too was completely ambivalent in the order of kids - so much so that when I got married, my husband and I did not even talk about it much. It be kind of a far off in the adjectives idea. And we were both 30 at the time! I just wasn't at that place within my life yet. So years go by and I'm still thinking I have all sorts of time and one day we decided to try for one child. We agreed one would be wonderful and that it time.
Fast forward 10 years and here I am, 46 years old with 3 kids ages 9, 5 and 2. After that first one, we said ' oh man, we gotta do this again'. In many ways I regret waiting so long even though I know I be not ready earlier. I wish I be younger with my kids, only for the reason of anyone here on the planet with them longer.
Having kids was a complete turnaround in my energy. There have been so many change to me, my perspective on life, my ideals, my goals. Past all the rock-hard stuff, all the work, all the finances, all the emotionally and physically exhausting stuff, nearby is the sheer joy and true love that you cannot duplicate anywhere in life.
And you can verbs about autism and a host of other problems but that is like living your life span waiting to be hit by a car. It can happen to anyone.
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