16 year prehistoric daughter requirements to live near her comatose whip dad. Do I tolerate her jump?
There is no order for child support (we were not married, the county couldn't locate him, he evaded taxes and having a driver's license). Now he have a legit job and a license. He wants daughter to live with him since I am not doing impressively well financially. His idea of helping is by sending a $100 gift card twice a year. In 16 years, she have visited him 4 times. He lives on the West coast. I live in the Midwest. I moved here 15 years ago to make a method for child and me because he wouldn't help out. He blames my moving out of state for his not helping out. But he has a 20 year old who he have never paid support for. So I know he is full of crap. He also promised that if our daughter lives with him, he wouldn't make me pay cheque support. I am furious about this whole situation. But daughter really wants to live beside dad. Honestly, I think she just thinks that living in that will be fun and exciting.
If she wants to go, tolerate her go. She is old enough to resolve which parent she wants to live with. At 16, I myself moved in beside my father. And I think it was a great decision. Give her a coincidence, who knows she might not like it and come back to you.
I go through this, "oh my dad is perfect and your not" crap with my daughter too. Send her and let trueness hit them both. I give it a couple of months. It will make your life easier when she see's the truth.
Good luck. Remember the grass is other greener until you walk on it.
if you tell her no, she'll blame you for their crappy relationship and regard that if you hadn't gotten in the way she and her dad would have be so much closer.
and all that bs.
so you let her go. she'll be miserable after a while.
and she'll return. its not resembling he's abusive, he's just..dumb. irresponsible if you will.
but i'm not sure you should trust him when he says he won't fashion you pay. why else would he all of the sudden want to take aid of his daughter?
i think you really need to watch out for that.
No,no and no. Not even on the table. Tell her no. I really do guess that she thinks it will be fun with no rules. And if he's the way you vote he is,chances are it would be just like that. At 16,no it is imperative she hold boundaries.
Maybe you can suggest she spend a summer or something there before she make her final decision.
At the end of the day though, you may dislike intensely the guy but she is genetically connected to her father and would love to get to know him no matter how bad you hatred him.
If you don't give her this opportunity she may resent you, just be sure that you create the idea that her stay is "temporary", this bearing if she does not like staying there she can move back short hurting too many feelings.
She's 16, she's now old adequate legally in these matters to kind her own decisions. If she was younger you could play the custody card but ATM I think you're SOL.
Sure let her go..you just raise her 16 long years..But let her go with her unresponsive beat dad that will prob let her do anything she wants. She will prob extremity up on drugs and pregnant with out any Adult Guidance in her life. Don't impart up on her she needs you :)
I assume you're absolutely right in your assumptions. If you do let her move contained by with her dad she probably will be headed back home within short order unless she finds the west coast too appealing to let go. That is something that happen with a lot of young society. Right now she will find CA and the Left coast a very difficult place to be because of the recession. As long as she is safe near her dad she should be OK in the short run. Sure try to talk her out of it. Even refuse to permit her go. In other words you are the parent and you have the last say aloud! Let them just try to take you to court if that is what they want to do. Keep loving your daughter no thing what, she is just a bit confused. What child doesn't want to get to know their biological parent, even if as in this luggage he has been a deadbeat, he is still her dad.
noooo
i would articulate send her over there and let her stay next to him for a few months and let her realize that he wont keep all his promises of it man so great and fun over there. reality check!
I went through this too, except i be the daughter, i lived with my dad who had always be there, and done whatever he had to do to product sure i was living well, then i have a dead beat mom, who had never be around until it was convenitent for her (i was 13) and when i was i 17 she kept promising adjectives these things to me, so i left my dads to go live with her and it be the worst mistake of my life, i not only hurt my dads feeling but it departed him angrey with me and we didnt talk for almost a year, and thats a year i will never get hindmost... good luck
At 16 years old, I think they're weak enough to make their own decisions. Here a 16 year weak can decide if they want to leave school, or give home, so I would let them make up their own mind.
You seem to be concerned almost him not providing financially, but to be honest, that's not the most important thing. I haven't received anything from my ex, since I decided to split up next to him 5 years ago, but I'd never stand in the way of him and our son having a relationship.
It doesn't situation how you feel about him (and it sounds like you're still bitter over it), surrounded by my opinion, you shouldn't stand in the way of them have a relationship.
Basically, stop thinking about yourself and your own feelings. It's your daughter's father, and as long as he's not abusive towards her, later you shouldn't try to stop them.
keep your feelings to yourself about her birth father -there was obviously something accurate about this man for your to have sex with him & create a child. gain counseling for your anger & encourage the relationship between the child & her father. your acceptance is the first step at ensuring a good child. it is NOT a criticism of your parenting. sit down for a family meeting with the father & the child to discuss adjectives issues and mend fences.
Answers: Stick to your guns and do NOT allow your daughter to go and live with him! He has never shown any type of responsibility and I doubt immensely much that if he ever went to a lawyer a judge would even rule within his favor. Tell your daughter once she turns 18 then she can move to where ever she wants.
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If she wants to go, tolerate her go. She is old enough to resolve which parent she wants to live with. At 16, I myself moved in beside my father. And I think it was a great decision. Give her a coincidence, who knows she might not like it and come back to you.
I go through this, "oh my dad is perfect and your not" crap with my daughter too. Send her and let trueness hit them both. I give it a couple of months. It will make your life easier when she see's the truth.
Good luck. Remember the grass is other greener until you walk on it.
if you tell her no, she'll blame you for their crappy relationship and regard that if you hadn't gotten in the way she and her dad would have be so much closer.
and all that bs.
so you let her go. she'll be miserable after a while.
and she'll return. its not resembling he's abusive, he's just..dumb. irresponsible if you will.
but i'm not sure you should trust him when he says he won't fashion you pay. why else would he all of the sudden want to take aid of his daughter?
i think you really need to watch out for that.
No,no and no. Not even on the table. Tell her no. I really do guess that she thinks it will be fun with no rules. And if he's the way you vote he is,chances are it would be just like that. At 16,no it is imperative she hold boundaries.
Maybe you can suggest she spend a summer or something there before she make her final decision.
At the end of the day though, you may dislike intensely the guy but she is genetically connected to her father and would love to get to know him no matter how bad you hatred him.
If you don't give her this opportunity she may resent you, just be sure that you create the idea that her stay is "temporary", this bearing if she does not like staying there she can move back short hurting too many feelings.
She's 16, she's now old adequate legally in these matters to kind her own decisions. If she was younger you could play the custody card but ATM I think you're SOL.
Sure let her go..you just raise her 16 long years..But let her go with her unresponsive beat dad that will prob let her do anything she wants. She will prob extremity up on drugs and pregnant with out any Adult Guidance in her life. Don't impart up on her she needs you :)
I assume you're absolutely right in your assumptions. If you do let her move contained by with her dad she probably will be headed back home within short order unless she finds the west coast too appealing to let go. That is something that happen with a lot of young society. Right now she will find CA and the Left coast a very difficult place to be because of the recession. As long as she is safe near her dad she should be OK in the short run. Sure try to talk her out of it. Even refuse to permit her go. In other words you are the parent and you have the last say aloud! Let them just try to take you to court if that is what they want to do. Keep loving your daughter no thing what, she is just a bit confused. What child doesn't want to get to know their biological parent, even if as in this luggage he has been a deadbeat, he is still her dad.
noooo
i would articulate send her over there and let her stay next to him for a few months and let her realize that he wont keep all his promises of it man so great and fun over there. reality check!
I went through this too, except i be the daughter, i lived with my dad who had always be there, and done whatever he had to do to product sure i was living well, then i have a dead beat mom, who had never be around until it was convenitent for her (i was 13) and when i was i 17 she kept promising adjectives these things to me, so i left my dads to go live with her and it be the worst mistake of my life, i not only hurt my dads feeling but it departed him angrey with me and we didnt talk for almost a year, and thats a year i will never get hindmost... good luck
At 16 years old, I think they're weak enough to make their own decisions. Here a 16 year weak can decide if they want to leave school, or give home, so I would let them make up their own mind.
You seem to be concerned almost him not providing financially, but to be honest, that's not the most important thing. I haven't received anything from my ex, since I decided to split up next to him 5 years ago, but I'd never stand in the way of him and our son having a relationship.
It doesn't situation how you feel about him (and it sounds like you're still bitter over it), surrounded by my opinion, you shouldn't stand in the way of them have a relationship.
Basically, stop thinking about yourself and your own feelings. It's your daughter's father, and as long as he's not abusive towards her, later you shouldn't try to stop them.
keep your feelings to yourself about her birth father -there was obviously something accurate about this man for your to have sex with him & create a child. gain counseling for your anger & encourage the relationship between the child & her father. your acceptance is the first step at ensuring a good child. it is NOT a criticism of your parenting. sit down for a family meeting with the father & the child to discuss adjectives issues and mend fences.
Answers: Stick to your guns and do NOT allow your daughter to go and live with him! He has never shown any type of responsibility and I doubt immensely much that if he ever went to a lawyer a judge would even rule within his favor. Tell your daughter once she turns 18 then she can move to where ever she wants.
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