Regarding contact arrangements,,,is this honourable?
i have 2 children from a previous marriage. they are nearly 5 and 6. the eldest has severe autism and study difficulties. my ex is a mental health nurse.he works shifts over a 2 week set rota. he has days off during the week and every other weekend rotten.
i have offered contact for every other weekend plus one week day night. he lone takes up the offer for one weekend and one week night as he desires his other weekend free. in total he only has them for 3 night a month. also ive told him he can have them extra anytime he wants during school holidays, he get over 7 weeks of annual leave a year. however, he rarely takes that give up.
the contact visits are arranged to be from 3pm till 3 pm. anytime i have asked him to be flexible and have them a bit more rapidly than 3pm, eg, during school hols, he always refuses.
we lawfully have shared responsibility, this is a joke! he does the bare minimum!
my youngest is due to start full time arts school in september so having that one week night contact will be even more reduced as youngest wont be have the usual time with him in the morning before nursery.
im thinking of shifting the contact arrangements, telling him that he can have them the friday night 3pm, till the sit 3pm of his weekend off instead of the week day night. this route the boys will have more time with their dad. i know he will get cheesed sour as he would rather do other things on his weekend off than see his kids.
im just really feed up of him shirking his responsibilities,
do you think im being unfair ?
Tell him that if he cannot have the children for more than 3 night a month, then it is pointless for him to have any access to them. If he doesn't improve his access, later stop it altogether. Source(s): Been there.
call a parent meeting & discuss what you wrote above (avoid emotion). this is a great time to practice your developed communication skills. you can share how you feel & listen to how he feels. next, you can come up near a resolution that will work with all parents & children.
He sounds like he does not care about his kids. His social enthusiasm is more important. This sounds like a friend of mine with her kid. Her ex took her to court for access and very soon he only wants his daughter once a month cause he have bowling tournements every weekend. I think you are being really fair Your kids will most possible resent their father as time goes by. All I can suggest is you keep offering him access. Ask your lawyer for guidance as well, I am not expert in family regulation but maybe there is something that can change the situation.
Unfair?
I think you are cross.
And when we are cross we rarely ( if ever) do our best at contact arrangements!
How around getting some mediation going on here?
it would help you to see stuff from his angle - even if you don't want to.
And it would help him see your point of view?
+ you'd both grasp an impartial outside opinion on the whole sorry mess.
Which is other a very good thing.
Hope you conduct operations to sort something out that suits you all.. adults and children
Answers: Yes i muse you are being unfair, but not on the ex, but on your children!
You should not be forcing them onto someone who doesn't want to see them - they will be able to report to.
I suggest you go and get full responsibiltiy for the children and screw him for all the money you can.
You don't own to stop him seeing them, but at least when he does see them it will be because he wants too.
If he fights it, it puts you contained by the position to address making the joint responsibiltiy more equal.
You aren't human being unfair, in fact I deem you are being more than fair. But, you cannot make him transport them. If I were you I would go back to court and win custody, visitation and child support changed. If he is not seeing them as much but is saying that he is he has to pay smaller quantity child support than he is. If he is paying any. If he doesn't want a lot to do with them at least you could seize a little help paying for things that they need and bring the control you deserve.
The one thing you can not do is let your children see you receive upset about this. Sounds to me like you're going to have to be the responsible one and in recent times be there for your children. Let your Ex do as he chooses and it will bite him i the butt in the long run.. You can't force him to take the kids or to spend more time near them. It's sad and unfair to the children, but if you think in the region of it, he is the one who will be missing out, not you. Be as supportive as possible and never let the children see or hear the way you really feel. It may impose too much unnecessary confusion for the children. Besides, if your Ex takes the children at a time when he was really not wanting to or had other plans, it may basis tension when he is around the children, and believe me, they will pick up on that tension. Be the best you can be as a Parent, that's all you really can do at this point.
Good Luck.
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i have offered contact for every other weekend plus one week day night. he lone takes up the offer for one weekend and one week night as he desires his other weekend free. in total he only has them for 3 night a month. also ive told him he can have them extra anytime he wants during school holidays, he get over 7 weeks of annual leave a year. however, he rarely takes that give up.
the contact visits are arranged to be from 3pm till 3 pm. anytime i have asked him to be flexible and have them a bit more rapidly than 3pm, eg, during school hols, he always refuses.
we lawfully have shared responsibility, this is a joke! he does the bare minimum!
my youngest is due to start full time arts school in september so having that one week night contact will be even more reduced as youngest wont be have the usual time with him in the morning before nursery.
im thinking of shifting the contact arrangements, telling him that he can have them the friday night 3pm, till the sit 3pm of his weekend off instead of the week day night. this route the boys will have more time with their dad. i know he will get cheesed sour as he would rather do other things on his weekend off than see his kids.
im just really feed up of him shirking his responsibilities,
do you think im being unfair ?
Tell him that if he cannot have the children for more than 3 night a month, then it is pointless for him to have any access to them. If he doesn't improve his access, later stop it altogether. Source(s): Been there.
call a parent meeting & discuss what you wrote above (avoid emotion). this is a great time to practice your developed communication skills. you can share how you feel & listen to how he feels. next, you can come up near a resolution that will work with all parents & children.
He sounds like he does not care about his kids. His social enthusiasm is more important. This sounds like a friend of mine with her kid. Her ex took her to court for access and very soon he only wants his daughter once a month cause he have bowling tournements every weekend. I think you are being really fair Your kids will most possible resent their father as time goes by. All I can suggest is you keep offering him access. Ask your lawyer for guidance as well, I am not expert in family regulation but maybe there is something that can change the situation.
Unfair?
I think you are cross.
And when we are cross we rarely ( if ever) do our best at contact arrangements!
How around getting some mediation going on here?
it would help you to see stuff from his angle - even if you don't want to.
And it would help him see your point of view?
+ you'd both grasp an impartial outside opinion on the whole sorry mess.
Which is other a very good thing.
Hope you conduct operations to sort something out that suits you all.. adults and children
Answers: Yes i muse you are being unfair, but not on the ex, but on your children!
You should not be forcing them onto someone who doesn't want to see them - they will be able to report to.
I suggest you go and get full responsibiltiy for the children and screw him for all the money you can.
You don't own to stop him seeing them, but at least when he does see them it will be because he wants too.
If he fights it, it puts you contained by the position to address making the joint responsibiltiy more equal.
You aren't human being unfair, in fact I deem you are being more than fair. But, you cannot make him transport them. If I were you I would go back to court and win custody, visitation and child support changed. If he is not seeing them as much but is saying that he is he has to pay smaller quantity child support than he is. If he is paying any. If he doesn't want a lot to do with them at least you could seize a little help paying for things that they need and bring the control you deserve.
The one thing you can not do is let your children see you receive upset about this. Sounds to me like you're going to have to be the responsible one and in recent times be there for your children. Let your Ex do as he chooses and it will bite him i the butt in the long run.. You can't force him to take the kids or to spend more time near them. It's sad and unfair to the children, but if you think in the region of it, he is the one who will be missing out, not you. Be as supportive as possible and never let the children see or hear the way you really feel. It may impose too much unnecessary confusion for the children. Besides, if your Ex takes the children at a time when he was really not wanting to or had other plans, it may basis tension when he is around the children, and believe me, they will pick up on that tension. Be the best you can be as a Parent, that's all you really can do at this point.
Good Luck.
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