How do I relay a friend more or less her refusal thinking child?
My best friend of 13 years has a seven year old daughter that is especially negative and I'm not sure if I should talk to her about this. I invited her daughter to come spend the weekend next to me and my children (girls ages 4 and 2)and I thought we had a great time. I spent alot of time trying to entertain them. We went swimming, we played board games, we go to the park to feed the ducks, we watched movies, we went shopping and I brought her a hot dress. I mean I thought we had a really good time. We laugh together and the kids played together all night.
When she got hindmost home she told her mom that me and my two daughters were being mean to her. She told her mom that I yell at her which was untrue. I tried to accomodate her and I gave her almost everything she asked for. I mean I'm not going to read out yes to every single request from a child and I guess that upset her that she couldn't get her way EVERY SINGLE TIME. She also told her mother that my four year old daughter accidentally hit her surrounded by the eye and refused to apologize which is not exactly the way the story happened.
Well anyway her mother call me to tell me the things her daughter had said. She also told me that she knows her daughter is spoiled (she's an merely child) and that her daughter always does that when she goes places, so she knows how her child can be when she doesn't grasp her way. But in my opinion she still seem to be entertained by what her daughter was saying. She kept encouraging her to convey more by asking further questions about the negative experiences instead of the positive ones. I be somewhat hurt and offended.
I believe that my friend is a negative thinker. She other finds something negative about most experiences she has. She go to stay at the nicest hotels and will find a reason to complain and ends up getting a free upgrade, she eats for free at resturaunts because something usually seem to be wrong next to her order, she complains to the cable company about something and gets free premium channel. I mean the list goes on. She regularly finds a reason to complain about something when I usually think of it as no big business. She's the customer that every service worker dreads having.
How do I tell my friend that I think her unenthusiastic behavior and complaining is having an effect on her daughter without offending her. I want my friend to stop encouraging negative comments from her daughter (She seem to be more interested in the conversation if her daughter tells her something negative versus something positive.) She once told me that her daughter enjoy seeing her get upset and worked up, especially if she's defending her daughter.
Should I tell her that this behavior bothers me or should I just consent to her raise her daughter the ways she wants to and just never invite her to spend the hours of darkness again. I don't know what to do because she is my best friend so I can't just avoid her daughter forever. I love her daughter and in my opinion our girls play in good health together. She's funny and like I said, I enjoyed having her over. I don't want to cause offence her because sometimes people can be a little sensitive about their kids but I also want her to know that conceivably her daughter is feeding off of her negativity. What should I tell her and how should I vote it without offending her?
There's nothing you can do. I used to babysit someone similar to that and we would spend all day coloring, reading stories, playing with lego's, cooking and baking (he would obtain to bring home things we made, like applesauce and cookies) and went for a walk every light of day.
He had a great time while he was here, and then he'd turn home and tell his parents that I was mean to him and he cried adjectives day long. His parents believed him until I took a video of me asking him if was ready to budge home and he said "no, I want to stay here with you" He didn't know I was filming him...and sure plenty that night he told his parents again I was mean...blah blah blah...
I completed up not babysitting anymore and his parents arranged their work schedules so there could always be one of them home next to him. Cater to the kid...*rolling eyes*. I feel sorry for his future teachers when he starts university.
It sounds like they're both spoiled brats. I don't know if there's anything you can speak that's going to change that. Maybe if you stop having her daughter over or hanging out beside her she'll start to notice and wonder why. If she asks you, just tell her nobody like to bend over backwards for someone who is unappreciative and complains about everything. She'll probably get cracked, but maybe she'll get the idea.
I mingy, the mother complains to get free stuff, apparently, and it's rubbing off on her daughter.
Answers: I honestly just think that some inhabitants are optimists and some are pessimists. Your friend focuses on the negative in situations because it's what she knows. She have probably always been like this. If you judge back over the last 13 years, I'm sure you'll find it's true. And you are likely an optimist.
I don't conjecture any amount of talking will make your friend see your point in this. To her, she's not doing anything wrong. It's how she feel about life and it's normal to her. I'm not maxim it's right (I'm an optimist, too), but it is what it is. This world takes all kinds.
I wouldn't stop inviting the little girl over. Just stop listen when her more calls you with the report afterwards. It seems similar to her daughter had a genuinely good time at your house and perchance she just needs to me around more positive-thinkers!
Don't say anything. If she's that negative in her thinking, consequently she will obviously take anything you say as criticism, no concern how constructively you intended it. Instead, whenever she or her daughter complain, just come back with something positive. For instance, if she say the entree was overcooked, you could say, "but the rest of the food was really upright, and the service was excellent."
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When she got hindmost home she told her mom that me and my two daughters were being mean to her. She told her mom that I yell at her which was untrue. I tried to accomodate her and I gave her almost everything she asked for. I mean I'm not going to read out yes to every single request from a child and I guess that upset her that she couldn't get her way EVERY SINGLE TIME. She also told her mother that my four year old daughter accidentally hit her surrounded by the eye and refused to apologize which is not exactly the way the story happened.
Well anyway her mother call me to tell me the things her daughter had said. She also told me that she knows her daughter is spoiled (she's an merely child) and that her daughter always does that when she goes places, so she knows how her child can be when she doesn't grasp her way. But in my opinion she still seem to be entertained by what her daughter was saying. She kept encouraging her to convey more by asking further questions about the negative experiences instead of the positive ones. I be somewhat hurt and offended.
I believe that my friend is a negative thinker. She other finds something negative about most experiences she has. She go to stay at the nicest hotels and will find a reason to complain and ends up getting a free upgrade, she eats for free at resturaunts because something usually seem to be wrong next to her order, she complains to the cable company about something and gets free premium channel. I mean the list goes on. She regularly finds a reason to complain about something when I usually think of it as no big business. She's the customer that every service worker dreads having.
How do I tell my friend that I think her unenthusiastic behavior and complaining is having an effect on her daughter without offending her. I want my friend to stop encouraging negative comments from her daughter (She seem to be more interested in the conversation if her daughter tells her something negative versus something positive.) She once told me that her daughter enjoy seeing her get upset and worked up, especially if she's defending her daughter.
Should I tell her that this behavior bothers me or should I just consent to her raise her daughter the ways she wants to and just never invite her to spend the hours of darkness again. I don't know what to do because she is my best friend so I can't just avoid her daughter forever. I love her daughter and in my opinion our girls play in good health together. She's funny and like I said, I enjoyed having her over. I don't want to cause offence her because sometimes people can be a little sensitive about their kids but I also want her to know that conceivably her daughter is feeding off of her negativity. What should I tell her and how should I vote it without offending her?
There's nothing you can do. I used to babysit someone similar to that and we would spend all day coloring, reading stories, playing with lego's, cooking and baking (he would obtain to bring home things we made, like applesauce and cookies) and went for a walk every light of day.
He had a great time while he was here, and then he'd turn home and tell his parents that I was mean to him and he cried adjectives day long. His parents believed him until I took a video of me asking him if was ready to budge home and he said "no, I want to stay here with you" He didn't know I was filming him...and sure plenty that night he told his parents again I was mean...blah blah blah...
I completed up not babysitting anymore and his parents arranged their work schedules so there could always be one of them home next to him. Cater to the kid...*rolling eyes*. I feel sorry for his future teachers when he starts university.
It sounds like they're both spoiled brats. I don't know if there's anything you can speak that's going to change that. Maybe if you stop having her daughter over or hanging out beside her she'll start to notice and wonder why. If she asks you, just tell her nobody like to bend over backwards for someone who is unappreciative and complains about everything. She'll probably get cracked, but maybe she'll get the idea.
I mingy, the mother complains to get free stuff, apparently, and it's rubbing off on her daughter.
Answers: I honestly just think that some inhabitants are optimists and some are pessimists. Your friend focuses on the negative in situations because it's what she knows. She have probably always been like this. If you judge back over the last 13 years, I'm sure you'll find it's true. And you are likely an optimist.
I don't conjecture any amount of talking will make your friend see your point in this. To her, she's not doing anything wrong. It's how she feel about life and it's normal to her. I'm not maxim it's right (I'm an optimist, too), but it is what it is. This world takes all kinds.
I wouldn't stop inviting the little girl over. Just stop listen when her more calls you with the report afterwards. It seems similar to her daughter had a genuinely good time at your house and perchance she just needs to me around more positive-thinkers!
Don't say anything. If she's that negative in her thinking, consequently she will obviously take anything you say as criticism, no concern how constructively you intended it. Instead, whenever she or her daughter complain, just come back with something positive. For instance, if she say the entree was overcooked, you could say, "but the rest of the food was really upright, and the service was excellent."
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