Would I be a horrible being if I of late disappeared my family circle within the middle of the dark and didn't come backbone?

I think they would be better off without me. I am a exceptionally angry person, all the time. I yell at my kids, and I don't hold on to the house clean. I can't seem to get our calendar turned around like normal people sleep. We run to bed at around 6 a.m., and get up at 2 or 3 p.m. I wish I was a drunk, or an user, then at least I would know that I was departure because it is what is best for them without a doubt.
My husband has a girlfriend, and I am thinking I should just agree to her have them all. He buys her clothes and jewelry, and pays for her to attend college, and pays her mortgage on her new house.I am not pretty, I can see why he would want to be beside her. She smiles all the time and dresses nicely, and she is thin. I am not. He seem to really like her alot, since they have been together for the end 4 years of our marriage (he swears there is no one, but I do the wall accounts, and I am not blind, I see the tuition payments, and the mortgage he pays too, he even has another bank account beside her so it must be love because there is no way he would trust anyone he didn't love with his easier said than done earned money.) We live in a really bad neighborhood contained by a tiny old apartment with bad electric wiring. The guy 4 doors down is a pimp and a drug dealer, his girls are always walking their johns past the front of our place at adjectives hours of the night. I think my husband is only next to me because he wants to keep the kids and he is afraid that if I divorce him, I will get custody. What if I lately gave them to him in a letter? Just signed over custody and disappeared? Do you construe he would move the girls in with the girlfriend and then they would enjoy a safe place to live and no angry mom yelling at them every day? I used to consider suicide, but I don't want to do that because later someone would have to clean up after me, and I would have to do it when the kids be here, and that means they would be traumatized by that, so that is out. But, I was thinking that I could a moment ago leave my purse and id, and money and everything and just never come put a bet on. Then, he could just tell them what a bad personality I am and they would hate, or just forget about me instead of one damaged by a suicide. She seems like a joyous person, maybe she would make them a dutiful mom?
Would I be a horrible person if I just stopped fighting and permit them and this life go? Do you think I would ever forgive myself?
Have you seen a doctor just about these feelings? You really have too.

My mum is actually the greatest surrounded by the world, but she has depression so she doesn't think so. Once whe I was little she thought she be so worthless that we'd be better off without her and tried to kill herself. I am indebted everyday that her suicide attempt didn't work.

So see, you may be amazing and mental illness is clouding your judgement. Get help and don't leave your kith and kin.
You story appear to be one of fiction, yes you may leave if that is your wish. But hey, sign out at 10 in the morning they will be asleep.
Answers:    Hon, you are depressed. I'm a short time ago coming out of that dark stage myself and believe me, your kids will NOT be better off without you. That is a tell stories and you need to treat it as such.

Go see your doctor please. There is no shame in depression. It is an illness basically like cancer or diabetes and it can kill you if you aren't careful. Then where on earth would your kids be?

Please, please go to your ER and get help NOW
NOOOOOOOO! Don't leave! You have depression, i know I went through indistinguishable thing with my daughter's dad many years ago. I thought of suicide and even tried solitary i was found before it was too postponed. (he came home early go numeral hehehe) Anyhoo I was immediately put on antidepressants and made to see a counselor which was the best entry that ever happened to me. It helped me to see that i was not as worthless as i first thought. Also I told my child's father that any he told the kids what was going on or you would. You can hire a private investigator to get proof of this before you step to him though not that it sounds like you need to but he will just call for you paranoid till you do. You are so much stronger than you think. The fact that even though you considered suicide but didn't want to hurt your kids shows you ARE a good mum. Iu yell and was angry till I got the help I needed. Now my daughter is the envy of every mum, she know she is loved and has beautiful manners and i tell her dozens of times a afternoon I love her. Change your hair. get a new style and a makeover! Spend a weekend at a spa on your birthday, buy a unknown outfit. Do something just for YOURself for once. But PLEASE DON"T do anything drastic, SEE your doctor! Ask for a mental health plan, your doc will ask you why and then only just tell him! No you are not being a bother, they became doctors to support people like us so if you let him relieve you then you are helping him! SEE!! You are useful! You have reach a turning point in your life. Make it for the better! You are loved but tell your kids also how you perceive, they will understand why you act the way you do better and may even be more supportive after you think! Good luck, you are stronger than you think, I should know I have be where you are and now I am on TOP OF THE WORLD! Source(s): http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?…
I hate to say this because i don't estimate any kid so grow up having been abandoned by a parent but i estimate you should leave them. But you should definitely not kill yourself... i contemplate you need treatment, so go seek medical facilitate.. maybe enter yourself in a clinic... get the facilitate, get out, find a job you find meaningful and dispatch any left over money that you don't live off of, to your kids.. i hope that helps... upright luck!
edit*** DONT LISTEN TO ALI, DONT DO THAT. ARE YOU SERIOUS? DON'T KILL YOURSLEF. READ MY RESPONSE. REMEBER ALI DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU, AS MUCH AS YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T. SO WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT?? ITS STUPID AND I LIKE TO THINK YOUR SMARTER THAN THAT. NO ONE CAN HELP YOU IF YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF!!



What you need to do is create a better life for yourself. Instead of his stupid cheating self using that money to pay that other woman use it to move to a current apt and get ur kids and leave. Divorce him, ur happiness starts here. Print out all the bank statements so you can show the courts when you divorce him that he was cheating instead trying to present his kids a better life. You are angry at how ur life is and yourself. You need a break, don't do this to your kids. Its selffish.

Remember if you donate your going to leave him to a cheating man who cares for his other mistress than his kids. Your grown and smarter than that. Please don't do this. Take control of your life, stop one the victim and be the winner. You can turn this situation into a good one.

I know its unyielding, but believe in yourslef. You lived this long and survived thru ur struggles so be proud. You are a woman, you are worth everyones time, love, and respect.

At least, be smart before you run and do something on impulse and anger. No matter what you choose you are affecting your kids. Be strong and notify the authorities if you want to leave. Cause if you do you are departure your kids in a filthy apt with pimps and hoes everywhere. What if they recruit your son or daughter. You want that? Don't bestow your kids in this condition.

DIVROCE HIM, BUT BEFORE THAT TAKE HIS MONEY HE SENDS ON HIS MISTRESS AND MOVE TO A BETTER APT. USE YOUR HEAD AND BE SMART. TURN THE TABLES ON HIM AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. DONT BE THE VICTIM LETTING CIRCUMSTANCE BEAT YOU DOWN AND CHOOSING TO REMAIN HELPLESS. LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES. YOU NEED TO MAKE A SMART ONE. AND THAT SMART CHOICE DEPENDS OF THE HEALTH, LIFE, DEATH OF YOUR FAMILY. MAKE THE GOOD CHOICE. DONT RUN FROM YOUR PROBLEMS. THEY'LL ALWAYS FOLLOW YOU. NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, YOU WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU LEFT BEHIND, IT WILL HAUNT YOU. BE A GOOD MOM AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS AND LEAVE THE SCUMBAG.

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