What do you do when someone pushes an issue beside you (kind of a mom issue)?
and refuses to let it go even though you know they will not approaching to hear what you have to say?
I'm having this issue next to my mom at the moment. She's apparently trying to push issues from the past with me (after we have talk them through numerous times) and I'm trying to leave them in the past. She's constantly pushing me to chat about what she did wrong when I was younger that put a wedge between us. To be honest, I've put it within all terms I know how to without hurting her atmosphere, but she's really pushing me here.
I don't hold anything against her, but I have put boundaries to protect myself from further hurt. Part of those boundaries are to not discuss those issues again as they have been forgiven and talk over.
What can I do when put in this position?
I would give an account her if she continues to further push this issue she is only pushing you further away. You both have already resolved the issues and you forgive her but in demand to move on she needs to stop bringing the past up.
She unmistakably feels bad about anything she did, I think thats why she keeps bringing it up. Hope the helps purely stand your ground so she understands.
I'm sure you hold told her that you have moved on and no longer want to discuss the past so just put in the picture her okay and let it go I know it is hard to settlement coming to terms with something and the other person not person able to let it go. Maybe she fell impossible for her past action and she feels close to it is keeping you from getting closer. Just let her say what she feels she wishes to say and let it go. Sorry you own to deal with again and again.
If you really don't want to talk just about it, tell her you insist that it be left in days gone by, and if she continues to push, your time with her will be much less... It may be the only passageway she takes you seriously.
Your mothers need to discuss these past issues have more to do with her than you, she has a need to assage her guilt, you may own forgiven and moved on but have you told her you have forgiven her? If not ...Tell Her..."Mom I forgive you, and in proclaim for us BOTH to get over the past, you have to agree to it go because I have, now please do not bring it up again"...if she brings it up again veto to listen and tell her to speak with a therapist.
I've gone through this with my mom so i can make out it. After many years of it I finally said, "We're on two very different sides of this issue, I've worked past the issue and are no longer interested contained by discussing it. It would mean so much to me, if you could let it go because it hurts me every time you bring it up" Every once contained by a blue moon, she'll start again, but I remind her that it hurts me and change the subject.
If it's not a hill I want to die on, or something serious like confrontational a belief, I just say to the person "okay" and appear to agree, if that's the merely way possible to get off the conversation. Then I be in motion key her car.
Your mom is not interested surrounded by what you have to say, or in your mental state. her behavior is an attempt to regain a past opportunity that has gone.
for persons locked surrounded by past experience, there are a few possible cures, and all of them depend on building a better year today.
you are right to 'leave the past in the past' but she cannot, since she cannot envision a sunny future free from the past pain.
so, try to make a contribution her a vision of the future that is bright and appealing, and that will donate a chance for a better life...that's all any of us really requirements anyway.
if she's unresponsive to that, she is clinically depressed, and needs professional help.
Have you tried discussing it the way you just did above? With my mom sometimes I own to remind her that we've agreed not to talk about a certain situation again if it comes up. If she continues pushing the subject I'll agree to her know that I'll come and talk with her at a time I feel more comfortable and own what I want to say ready ahead of time. We'll sit down and talk in the order of it. Ask her some questions regarding the situation, maybe she's sentiment inadequate and just wants some commendation (if deserved) for things done.
Answers: I had never thought of keying the vehicle but I like it!
Dealing with your mom is about the hardest mission you have. The hurt she has caused you can't be comfortable or want retelling. If you feel you have dealt next to it and need to put it in the past you should be capable of do just that.
Your boundaries are important to your well self and Mom needs to honor them You can only beat a unconscious horse for so long. It gets redundant.
I'd tell mom that you have settled the issues and agree to them go. And you need her to do the same. If she can't honor your request and requirements to keep rehashing its her problem, not yours. I have some things I've done the same next to.
If she can't do as you ask then tell her you'd rather not chitchat to her at present. As hard as that is its very defining she know you are serious.You may have to be distant for awhile for her to understand just how serious you are.
Good luck, this is a tough one.
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I'm having this issue next to my mom at the moment. She's apparently trying to push issues from the past with me (after we have talk them through numerous times) and I'm trying to leave them in the past. She's constantly pushing me to chat about what she did wrong when I was younger that put a wedge between us. To be honest, I've put it within all terms I know how to without hurting her atmosphere, but she's really pushing me here.
I don't hold anything against her, but I have put boundaries to protect myself from further hurt. Part of those boundaries are to not discuss those issues again as they have been forgiven and talk over.
What can I do when put in this position?
I would give an account her if she continues to further push this issue she is only pushing you further away. You both have already resolved the issues and you forgive her but in demand to move on she needs to stop bringing the past up.
She unmistakably feels bad about anything she did, I think thats why she keeps bringing it up. Hope the helps purely stand your ground so she understands.
I'm sure you hold told her that you have moved on and no longer want to discuss the past so just put in the picture her okay and let it go I know it is hard to settlement coming to terms with something and the other person not person able to let it go. Maybe she fell impossible for her past action and she feels close to it is keeping you from getting closer. Just let her say what she feels she wishes to say and let it go. Sorry you own to deal with again and again.
If you really don't want to talk just about it, tell her you insist that it be left in days gone by, and if she continues to push, your time with her will be much less... It may be the only passageway she takes you seriously.
Your mothers need to discuss these past issues have more to do with her than you, she has a need to assage her guilt, you may own forgiven and moved on but have you told her you have forgiven her? If not ...Tell Her..."Mom I forgive you, and in proclaim for us BOTH to get over the past, you have to agree to it go because I have, now please do not bring it up again"...if she brings it up again veto to listen and tell her to speak with a therapist.
I've gone through this with my mom so i can make out it. After many years of it I finally said, "We're on two very different sides of this issue, I've worked past the issue and are no longer interested contained by discussing it. It would mean so much to me, if you could let it go because it hurts me every time you bring it up" Every once contained by a blue moon, she'll start again, but I remind her that it hurts me and change the subject.
If it's not a hill I want to die on, or something serious like confrontational a belief, I just say to the person "okay" and appear to agree, if that's the merely way possible to get off the conversation. Then I be in motion key her car.
Your mom is not interested surrounded by what you have to say, or in your mental state. her behavior is an attempt to regain a past opportunity that has gone.
for persons locked surrounded by past experience, there are a few possible cures, and all of them depend on building a better year today.
you are right to 'leave the past in the past' but she cannot, since she cannot envision a sunny future free from the past pain.
so, try to make a contribution her a vision of the future that is bright and appealing, and that will donate a chance for a better life...that's all any of us really requirements anyway.
if she's unresponsive to that, she is clinically depressed, and needs professional help.
Have you tried discussing it the way you just did above? With my mom sometimes I own to remind her that we've agreed not to talk about a certain situation again if it comes up. If she continues pushing the subject I'll agree to her know that I'll come and talk with her at a time I feel more comfortable and own what I want to say ready ahead of time. We'll sit down and talk in the order of it. Ask her some questions regarding the situation, maybe she's sentiment inadequate and just wants some commendation (if deserved) for things done.
Answers: I had never thought of keying the vehicle but I like it!
Dealing with your mom is about the hardest mission you have. The hurt she has caused you can't be comfortable or want retelling. If you feel you have dealt next to it and need to put it in the past you should be capable of do just that.
Your boundaries are important to your well self and Mom needs to honor them You can only beat a unconscious horse for so long. It gets redundant.
I'd tell mom that you have settled the issues and agree to them go. And you need her to do the same. If she can't honor your request and requirements to keep rehashing its her problem, not yours. I have some things I've done the same next to.
If she can't do as you ask then tell her you'd rather not chitchat to her at present. As hard as that is its very defining she know you are serious.You may have to be distant for awhile for her to understand just how serious you are.
Good luck, this is a tough one.
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