"Aww he loves Mickey more than Pooh!" - rude comment from a friend have me upset beside her- what to do?
Last night I was watching a friend's son while she worked the midnight shift.
This morning she came over to pick her son up.
My husband and I monitor her son so often, he has a toddler bed in our son's nursery.
My son is 5 months outmoded. My husband and I did his entire nursery in Winnie-the-Pooh. We both loved Pooh growing up, m nursery was Pooh when I was an infant, Pooh is a bright interesting color- it merely seemed natural for us to do his room in Pooh. And ironically, his favorite toy is a stuffed Pooh, its the solely one he'll babble with, and the only one he cries if you try to run away from him.
Her son is 3 years old and obcessed with Mickey Mouse.
I do not personally approaching Mickey Mouse, not because of Mickey himself, but because my ex (who was both sexually and phyiscally abusive) had a vintage Mickey collection. So now whenever I see Mickey, I dream up of him and its almost like reliving that trauma again.
My friend knows why I hate Mickey and she know why I love Pooh
yet she went out of her way to build sure everything that her son needed to spend the night was Mickey Mouse: the sheets for the toddler bed, the pillow, the stuffed animal he slept with, the shirt he changed into surrounded by the morning.
Which is all fine, he loves Mickey, its only natural to surround him near what he likes.
But then she did something that really pushed my buttons:
when she came to pick her son up, she took her son's stuffed Mickey Mouse and pushed it into my son's facade, my son grabbed Mickey's leg and pulled the toy down from his face
then she say "aww, he loves Mickey more than Pooh!"
This action was apart of a pattern of disrespectful behavior
(see press I posted yesterday: )
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
I don't want to make a big issue out of this, however I can shake my upset feeling.
How can I get former her continuous rude behavior?
(Especially when I don't think she realizes what she is doing.)
Okay, bring on the thumbs down, but you are the one who seems kind of nuts just about this. Its just mickey mouse. If you don't like your friend acting like that, find a exotic friend. As for your other question, it just seems approaching she is comparing the two which all moms do. Its a natural thing. When your son is elder and you have another, or your friend has another, you will compare that new baby's milestone's next to your older son's. Its normal. You seem to hold animosity towards your friend's child. Thats just the way it sounds in the primer.
Eh?? so whats the problem here? am I missing something?
Answers: I think the best piece to do is talk to her about it. But when you are dont make it come across like you are yelling at her, or anything. Just say it brings support memories you dont want to remember. I was also a victim of sexual abusive, so i know its tough to forget. Than when you see something that reminds you of it, its the worst. I think she will understand if you talk to her and I don`t know he can still have mickey stuff but maybe not so much around you and in your own house. I hope i help and good luck.
I read your other post as resourcefully.
I must say (as an unbiased person here), you seem to be to be competing with her. It sounds like you are jealous for some motivation and choosing asinine reasons to fight with her.
I instinctively think (reading the other question you asked as well) she does sound a bit competitive, as are plentifully of other mothers. However, this Mickey issue you have, sounds very personal and why should she make her son suffer because you requirement therapy? I'm not trying to be mean, but most of what she does, sounds like its irritating from your prespective. While, I'm not a disciple of intrudiing people (especially into my parenting style) I ignore them and stand firm in my parenting decision, knowing my decisions are the best for me and my children.
Don't let it get to you.
As for the Mickey piece - seriously, seek counseling as that is not normal.
I read the other post. I can't really say if she's doing this stuff deliberately to annoy you or you're person too sensitive. Maybe you guys just spend too much time together? I mean, I love my sister, and I love doing things with our kids together but we don't agree on everything and every in a minute and then I need a few weeks off, you know?
If she doesn't realize what she is doing then you have to let it stir.
Only when it becomes intentional and malicious do you need to approach her just about it.
Well, if she does not realize what she is doing, she can't correct herself.
Perhaps you can unflappably bring up the fact that Mickey brings up bad memories for you and tell her roughly your ex.
As for your son, yes, if you stick something bright and colorful in a baby's face, they WILL grab it, no situation what it is, so don't worry about that.
In your previous post, you said that originally you both had indistinguishable take on parenting but it seems like in a minute, you are growing apart on those issues. Perhaps it is time to find another sitter, but be careful how you go about this. She may get the impression extremely hurt by it. Maybe you can tell her that you know she is busy and stressed and now she can take those few hours per month to herself, probably work on her son's scrapbook.
It also sounds like she is missing her son's babyhood. Now that he is getting older, she yearns for the child he used to be. Having your baby there is a reminder of what she no longer has and cause her to project onto your son.
I really don't think she is trying to be mean or disrespectful, she just sounds a bit 'air-headed' and lonely. Maybe you both call for a break from one another so that you can regroup and become friends again.
Just tell her that these comments bother you. Tell her that you are not trying to be overly sensitive, but you want this to stop before it interferes beside your friendship. If she is really your friend, she will recognize she has crossed the line and desist.
Possibly, she could have been trying to help you, not insult you. Maybe she be trying to get you to associate Mickey Mouse with innocent meanings such as her son and your son. Maybe to win that other guy out of your life once and for all. Not that he's in your natural life, per say, but that such things as Mickey Mouse bring on reminders of his existence and his past abuse that's cause you so much pain. I would talk to your friend about this. She could only be trying to help you put him in the past once and for adjectives. Hope this helped. Good Luck.
There is no undemanding way to get past the upset sentiment. I had an ex like that, and every now and later certain things trigger memories. Not fun in the least bit, so I take in how you feel.
The best thing for you to do, is to confront her about it. Take her out to lunch or breakfast, and don't breed the whole conversation about it. Just say something resembling "Hey, I know you know what I've gone through, and you know I'm okay with Mickey, but what you did has really been bothering me. I'm sure you didn't know or parsimonious to, but it just brings up memories that I don't need right now." USUALLY, from near the conversation opens up a bit more. It's best to do these things face to face contained by an open environment that isn't threatening.
If it continues after this, you have to ask yourself if it's not something more on her end. Maybe she's green or upset that maybe you have something she doesn't? Either or, it's not something that can go unsaid, it's a serious issue to you, if you don't address it immediately, it could go on for a long time and it could hurt your friendship.
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This morning she came over to pick her son up.
My husband and I monitor her son so often, he has a toddler bed in our son's nursery.
My son is 5 months outmoded. My husband and I did his entire nursery in Winnie-the-Pooh. We both loved Pooh growing up, m nursery was Pooh when I was an infant, Pooh is a bright interesting color- it merely seemed natural for us to do his room in Pooh. And ironically, his favorite toy is a stuffed Pooh, its the solely one he'll babble with, and the only one he cries if you try to run away from him.
Her son is 3 years old and obcessed with Mickey Mouse.
I do not personally approaching Mickey Mouse, not because of Mickey himself, but because my ex (who was both sexually and phyiscally abusive) had a vintage Mickey collection. So now whenever I see Mickey, I dream up of him and its almost like reliving that trauma again.
My friend knows why I hate Mickey and she know why I love Pooh
yet she went out of her way to build sure everything that her son needed to spend the night was Mickey Mouse: the sheets for the toddler bed, the pillow, the stuffed animal he slept with, the shirt he changed into surrounded by the morning.
Which is all fine, he loves Mickey, its only natural to surround him near what he likes.
But then she did something that really pushed my buttons:
when she came to pick her son up, she took her son's stuffed Mickey Mouse and pushed it into my son's facade, my son grabbed Mickey's leg and pulled the toy down from his face
then she say "aww, he loves Mickey more than Pooh!"
This action was apart of a pattern of disrespectful behavior
(see press I posted yesterday: )
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
I don't want to make a big issue out of this, however I can shake my upset feeling.
How can I get former her continuous rude behavior?
(Especially when I don't think she realizes what she is doing.)
Okay, bring on the thumbs down, but you are the one who seems kind of nuts just about this. Its just mickey mouse. If you don't like your friend acting like that, find a exotic friend. As for your other question, it just seems approaching she is comparing the two which all moms do. Its a natural thing. When your son is elder and you have another, or your friend has another, you will compare that new baby's milestone's next to your older son's. Its normal. You seem to hold animosity towards your friend's child. Thats just the way it sounds in the primer.
Eh?? so whats the problem here? am I missing something?
Answers: I think the best piece to do is talk to her about it. But when you are dont make it come across like you are yelling at her, or anything. Just say it brings support memories you dont want to remember. I was also a victim of sexual abusive, so i know its tough to forget. Than when you see something that reminds you of it, its the worst. I think she will understand if you talk to her and I don`t know he can still have mickey stuff but maybe not so much around you and in your own house. I hope i help and good luck.
I read your other post as resourcefully.
I must say (as an unbiased person here), you seem to be to be competing with her. It sounds like you are jealous for some motivation and choosing asinine reasons to fight with her.
I instinctively think (reading the other question you asked as well) she does sound a bit competitive, as are plentifully of other mothers. However, this Mickey issue you have, sounds very personal and why should she make her son suffer because you requirement therapy? I'm not trying to be mean, but most of what she does, sounds like its irritating from your prespective. While, I'm not a disciple of intrudiing people (especially into my parenting style) I ignore them and stand firm in my parenting decision, knowing my decisions are the best for me and my children.
Don't let it get to you.
As for the Mickey piece - seriously, seek counseling as that is not normal.
I read the other post. I can't really say if she's doing this stuff deliberately to annoy you or you're person too sensitive. Maybe you guys just spend too much time together? I mean, I love my sister, and I love doing things with our kids together but we don't agree on everything and every in a minute and then I need a few weeks off, you know?
If she doesn't realize what she is doing then you have to let it stir.
Only when it becomes intentional and malicious do you need to approach her just about it.
Well, if she does not realize what she is doing, she can't correct herself.
Perhaps you can unflappably bring up the fact that Mickey brings up bad memories for you and tell her roughly your ex.
As for your son, yes, if you stick something bright and colorful in a baby's face, they WILL grab it, no situation what it is, so don't worry about that.
In your previous post, you said that originally you both had indistinguishable take on parenting but it seems like in a minute, you are growing apart on those issues. Perhaps it is time to find another sitter, but be careful how you go about this. She may get the impression extremely hurt by it. Maybe you can tell her that you know she is busy and stressed and now she can take those few hours per month to herself, probably work on her son's scrapbook.
It also sounds like she is missing her son's babyhood. Now that he is getting older, she yearns for the child he used to be. Having your baby there is a reminder of what she no longer has and cause her to project onto your son.
I really don't think she is trying to be mean or disrespectful, she just sounds a bit 'air-headed' and lonely. Maybe you both call for a break from one another so that you can regroup and become friends again.
Just tell her that these comments bother you. Tell her that you are not trying to be overly sensitive, but you want this to stop before it interferes beside your friendship. If she is really your friend, she will recognize she has crossed the line and desist.
Possibly, she could have been trying to help you, not insult you. Maybe she be trying to get you to associate Mickey Mouse with innocent meanings such as her son and your son. Maybe to win that other guy out of your life once and for all. Not that he's in your natural life, per say, but that such things as Mickey Mouse bring on reminders of his existence and his past abuse that's cause you so much pain. I would talk to your friend about this. She could only be trying to help you put him in the past once and for adjectives. Hope this helped. Good Luck.
There is no undemanding way to get past the upset sentiment. I had an ex like that, and every now and later certain things trigger memories. Not fun in the least bit, so I take in how you feel.
The best thing for you to do, is to confront her about it. Take her out to lunch or breakfast, and don't breed the whole conversation about it. Just say something resembling "Hey, I know you know what I've gone through, and you know I'm okay with Mickey, but what you did has really been bothering me. I'm sure you didn't know or parsimonious to, but it just brings up memories that I don't need right now." USUALLY, from near the conversation opens up a bit more. It's best to do these things face to face contained by an open environment that isn't threatening.
If it continues after this, you have to ask yourself if it's not something more on her end. Maybe she's green or upset that maybe you have something she doesn't? Either or, it's not something that can go unsaid, it's a serious issue to you, if you don't address it immediately, it could go on for a long time and it could hurt your friendship.
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