9 wks after transport..bonding issues. support!?
Let me just say that nothing go well/as planned/hoped during this pregnancy. First off i didnt find out i was pregnant until I was 17wks. My husband and I werent planning on have children for a while (at least 5yrs) I know some will say how could you not know? Well my cycle has other been irregular and add to that the stress of grad school...I newly didnt keep track of when I had last have my period. I did take pregnancy tests during this time but they come up negative. Anyway after I found out, it was a surprise of course and next i developed gestational diabetes. This caused a lot of headaches. My Dr. induced my labor.
I hold always wanted a natural birth and be determined to do it. I didnt take any meds until 32hrs later, when i just couldnt transport it. In the end, 48+ hours later I had a c-section. I just got to see my baby for a couple seconds after he was wisked away. During my hospital stay I noticed that I felt resembling i wasnt a mom like he wasnt mine. I didnt feel him come out of me nor did i get to hold him close afterwards.
I also considered necessary to breastfeed but that didnt happen due to a cleft palate. I still pump because I believe that breastmilk is best but I dont feel like a mom. I have a feeling like he is someone elses child and I'm just a sitter. I mean i dont do that things that a "concrete mom" does, I dont breastfeed and i didnt deliver him naturally. I am taking a year off from grad school so i spend my total day with him, I hold him, kiss him, bathe him everything and however i dont feel like I love him differently than i do my siblings.will this change? any accepted wisdom to help my situation?
You might PPD even though you don't know it.
And since you have a difficult pregnancy and delivery that is probably the reason you haven't bonded. I construe you should talk to your doctor. Your doctor can probably help. But in the stingy time start talking to people. Talk through all your atmosphere. Talk to a close friend, family member, someone you feel close to.
And basically realize that bonding doesn't happen immediately for all moms. Sometimes it take a while. I know with my first it took a couple of months. I had a very difficult pregnancy near her (nine months of morning sickness, a DVT, blood thinner shots etc, etc) And I just remember seeing the birth as the end. I honestly didn't think going on for that I was going to be a mom. And then I had this babe to take care of. And it was so strange and somewhat upsetting that I had to recover from a c-section and take support of this little baby.
But I got through it. I really opened up to my husband and my mother. And I realize that it was O,K. that I didn't immediately bond with her. I too be exclusively pumping at the time so I think that made it a little more difficult to bond. But after a while it just started to grain different. And it wasn't too long before I had this enormous amount of love for her.
Now she is almost three and we are amazingly close. She is everything to me.
I know it will work out. Just dangle in there.
do you remember adjectives those times you felt him moving inside you? listening to his heart beat? ultrasounds? reflect about those things. you are just depressed. i went through it too after a couple of my pregnancies because i feel that mine was hard too.
i couldnt breast feed and i needed to, but i still love him and i know hes mine. it will get better when you deal with your depression.
What you are describing sometimes happen when a pregnancy and workforce & delivery, and newborn's appearance, don't go as imagined.
Yes, it will change - the more time you spend near your baby, the stronger you will bond.
We grow to love others, the more we serve and nurture them, so hang in in attendance - although, I must also say, that if this continues for much longer, you should talk to your doctor.
Good Luck
Don't feel bad. With my first daughter, I bonded near her right after birth. I did have her vaginally (20 hours of labor) and I did breastfeed her. During pregancy I was really disattached, thinking I hated one pregant and I didn' think I was going to be a good mom.
On the flip side, my second pregancy I loved! I be so happy and excited about being a mommy again. But next to my son (he's 6 months now) was born I didn't have that instant conection with him, and I thought what the hell is wrong beside me?! Eventually as I spent time with him, my feeling for him started to grow. Now I love him just as much as my daughter.
Every pregancy is different, and every child is different. You're probably a short time ago stressing out, and tiered. If things don't change within 6 months you might be going through post partum depression. Its nothing to be ashamed of, only go and talk to you doctor.
You are very much a real mom!! Breastfeeding does not gross the mom neither does a vaginal delivery. The love and affection makes the mom. To bond with my preemie daughter the doctor told us to form sure to have skin to skin contact so during naps we would sleep with our shirts past its sell-by date and she would lay on my chest. It also helped keep my milk coming since I was individual pumping due to the fact that I could not stimulate her. After a month of pumping though I went to formula and there be nothing wrong with that. You taking care of her and loving her make you mom. Any woman can do the other stuff but not all women make good moms. GOD BLESS!
I had bonding issues near my 2nd baby. I also had a c-section with her and she have to go to intensive care for a week. Tried to breast feed her but my body be not producing enough for her so we had to go to formula. After we brought her home, I be very excited but felt akward around her. It took a few months but as she started doing more and getting more of a personality ...we eventually bonded. I enjoy heard a lot of mothers say that they fell contained by love as soon as they saw their baby. Unfortunately I did not...I did with my first daughter but not my second. Now my second child and I are extremely close and have a awfully tight bond.
Don't be discouraged. Everything will fall into place, just give it some more time. I construe that you are with him all day...perchance you need a break...even if it's for an hour, it'll give you some time to miss him.
You are doing what a "real mom" does- you did and are doing everything within your power to do the best for your child. I have breastfed and pumped and I know pumping is a heck of a lot harder, without partially the rewards, so give yourself some credit for taking on that selfless act; it is something not a soul else can do for your child. Also remember that difficult pregnancies and deliveries greatly increase your chances of postpartum depression and bonding issues. I would highly recommend speaking to your doctor so s/he can rule out postpartum depression if these reaction have lasted more than a week or so.
Ooo it will change..Trust me! I own 4 girls..The last was born with a cleft lip and palate..Your emotion are everywhere right now so the bonding seems to take a final seat..It's a lot to take surrounded by, but trust me, it will change..My girls are 17, 13, 5, and Ella will be 4 on the 10th..I love all of my girls, but the one that I thought I would have trouble bonding beside, she's my heart!! I look at her and see all she's gone through, and will continue to go through..She's given me strength, pride, and leniency that the other ones couldn't..She's an amazing kiddo (ALL of my girls are) but the one that consumed us, feeding, surgeries, acid reflux, weight issues, you autograph it..That's the one that melts my heart..You'll get there..;o) Source(s): http://www.cleftline.org/story_of_the_mo…
http://www.cleftline.org/story_of_the_mo…
Your hormones are still settling down. It will be a while. Sometimes much after he's a year elderly. It takes time. :) Good luck hon.
i felt teh same method. u have ppd. you should go to ur dr and tell them that and they can sustain u. my son is 1 now and i look back and feel approaching i was a bad mother for feeling similar to that. its also an adjustment period. just stop and while holding ur little one just look at them and focus about how u carried them for so long and how much u love them. think of the future. its ok to win emotional. i hope this helps u feel a bond. knowing that this kid depends on u for EVERYTHING. u will watch this little infant grow to be a toddler, teenager (ahhh!) and adult. u will mold this little infant. you are the most important thing in his time. good luck and god bless
Answers: These feelings are completely normal. Sometimes is can steal awhile before you realize that just because things don't go as you enjoy planned doesn't meant that you are any less of a mom. You will also need to realize that duration with your beautiful baby won't be schoolbook book either.
I suggest you talk to your doctor..I do believe you are experience post partum depression..which again is completely normal.. Source(s): Mom of 4
it sounds approaching you have the baby blues. and that doesn't mean your full blown depressed. you should manufacture an appt. with your doctor. i had alot of the same inner health with my second child, and it took quite a while for me to realize that i needed help. i loved my kid and i know this sounds horrible but there were times that i would look at her and think " if she died, i wouldn't matter" and afterwards i would start to feel really guilty because i wasn't sure that i loved her. she is two now, and omg i don't know what i would do with out her my kids are the loves of my natural life!
everyone goes threw things like this, just remember it will capture better
especially for a first time momma, its not uncommon to feel the way you do. but seriously homily to your doctor and they will help you threw it...
good luck Source(s): Momma of 2
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I hold always wanted a natural birth and be determined to do it. I didnt take any meds until 32hrs later, when i just couldnt transport it. In the end, 48+ hours later I had a c-section. I just got to see my baby for a couple seconds after he was wisked away. During my hospital stay I noticed that I felt resembling i wasnt a mom like he wasnt mine. I didnt feel him come out of me nor did i get to hold him close afterwards.
I also considered necessary to breastfeed but that didnt happen due to a cleft palate. I still pump because I believe that breastmilk is best but I dont feel like a mom. I have a feeling like he is someone elses child and I'm just a sitter. I mean i dont do that things that a "concrete mom" does, I dont breastfeed and i didnt deliver him naturally. I am taking a year off from grad school so i spend my total day with him, I hold him, kiss him, bathe him everything and however i dont feel like I love him differently than i do my siblings.will this change? any accepted wisdom to help my situation?
You might PPD even though you don't know it.
And since you have a difficult pregnancy and delivery that is probably the reason you haven't bonded. I construe you should talk to your doctor. Your doctor can probably help. But in the stingy time start talking to people. Talk through all your atmosphere. Talk to a close friend, family member, someone you feel close to.
And basically realize that bonding doesn't happen immediately for all moms. Sometimes it take a while. I know with my first it took a couple of months. I had a very difficult pregnancy near her (nine months of morning sickness, a DVT, blood thinner shots etc, etc) And I just remember seeing the birth as the end. I honestly didn't think going on for that I was going to be a mom. And then I had this babe to take care of. And it was so strange and somewhat upsetting that I had to recover from a c-section and take support of this little baby.
But I got through it. I really opened up to my husband and my mother. And I realize that it was O,K. that I didn't immediately bond with her. I too be exclusively pumping at the time so I think that made it a little more difficult to bond. But after a while it just started to grain different. And it wasn't too long before I had this enormous amount of love for her.
Now she is almost three and we are amazingly close. She is everything to me.
I know it will work out. Just dangle in there.
do you remember adjectives those times you felt him moving inside you? listening to his heart beat? ultrasounds? reflect about those things. you are just depressed. i went through it too after a couple of my pregnancies because i feel that mine was hard too.
i couldnt breast feed and i needed to, but i still love him and i know hes mine. it will get better when you deal with your depression.
What you are describing sometimes happen when a pregnancy and workforce & delivery, and newborn's appearance, don't go as imagined.
Yes, it will change - the more time you spend near your baby, the stronger you will bond.
We grow to love others, the more we serve and nurture them, so hang in in attendance - although, I must also say, that if this continues for much longer, you should talk to your doctor.
Good Luck
Don't feel bad. With my first daughter, I bonded near her right after birth. I did have her vaginally (20 hours of labor) and I did breastfeed her. During pregancy I was really disattached, thinking I hated one pregant and I didn' think I was going to be a good mom.
On the flip side, my second pregancy I loved! I be so happy and excited about being a mommy again. But next to my son (he's 6 months now) was born I didn't have that instant conection with him, and I thought what the hell is wrong beside me?! Eventually as I spent time with him, my feeling for him started to grow. Now I love him just as much as my daughter.
Every pregancy is different, and every child is different. You're probably a short time ago stressing out, and tiered. If things don't change within 6 months you might be going through post partum depression. Its nothing to be ashamed of, only go and talk to you doctor.
You are very much a real mom!! Breastfeeding does not gross the mom neither does a vaginal delivery. The love and affection makes the mom. To bond with my preemie daughter the doctor told us to form sure to have skin to skin contact so during naps we would sleep with our shirts past its sell-by date and she would lay on my chest. It also helped keep my milk coming since I was individual pumping due to the fact that I could not stimulate her. After a month of pumping though I went to formula and there be nothing wrong with that. You taking care of her and loving her make you mom. Any woman can do the other stuff but not all women make good moms. GOD BLESS!
I had bonding issues near my 2nd baby. I also had a c-section with her and she have to go to intensive care for a week. Tried to breast feed her but my body be not producing enough for her so we had to go to formula. After we brought her home, I be very excited but felt akward around her. It took a few months but as she started doing more and getting more of a personality ...we eventually bonded. I enjoy heard a lot of mothers say that they fell contained by love as soon as they saw their baby. Unfortunately I did not...I did with my first daughter but not my second. Now my second child and I are extremely close and have a awfully tight bond.
Don't be discouraged. Everything will fall into place, just give it some more time. I construe that you are with him all day...perchance you need a break...even if it's for an hour, it'll give you some time to miss him.
You are doing what a "real mom" does- you did and are doing everything within your power to do the best for your child. I have breastfed and pumped and I know pumping is a heck of a lot harder, without partially the rewards, so give yourself some credit for taking on that selfless act; it is something not a soul else can do for your child. Also remember that difficult pregnancies and deliveries greatly increase your chances of postpartum depression and bonding issues. I would highly recommend speaking to your doctor so s/he can rule out postpartum depression if these reaction have lasted more than a week or so.
Ooo it will change..Trust me! I own 4 girls..The last was born with a cleft lip and palate..Your emotion are everywhere right now so the bonding seems to take a final seat..It's a lot to take surrounded by, but trust me, it will change..My girls are 17, 13, 5, and Ella will be 4 on the 10th..I love all of my girls, but the one that I thought I would have trouble bonding beside, she's my heart!! I look at her and see all she's gone through, and will continue to go through..She's given me strength, pride, and leniency that the other ones couldn't..She's an amazing kiddo (ALL of my girls are) but the one that consumed us, feeding, surgeries, acid reflux, weight issues, you autograph it..That's the one that melts my heart..You'll get there..;o) Source(s): http://www.cleftline.org/story_of_the_mo…
http://www.cleftline.org/story_of_the_mo…
Your hormones are still settling down. It will be a while. Sometimes much after he's a year elderly. It takes time. :) Good luck hon.
i felt teh same method. u have ppd. you should go to ur dr and tell them that and they can sustain u. my son is 1 now and i look back and feel approaching i was a bad mother for feeling similar to that. its also an adjustment period. just stop and while holding ur little one just look at them and focus about how u carried them for so long and how much u love them. think of the future. its ok to win emotional. i hope this helps u feel a bond. knowing that this kid depends on u for EVERYTHING. u will watch this little infant grow to be a toddler, teenager (ahhh!) and adult. u will mold this little infant. you are the most important thing in his time. good luck and god bless
Answers: These feelings are completely normal. Sometimes is can steal awhile before you realize that just because things don't go as you enjoy planned doesn't meant that you are any less of a mom. You will also need to realize that duration with your beautiful baby won't be schoolbook book either.
I suggest you talk to your doctor..I do believe you are experience post partum depression..which again is completely normal.. Source(s): Mom of 4
it sounds approaching you have the baby blues. and that doesn't mean your full blown depressed. you should manufacture an appt. with your doctor. i had alot of the same inner health with my second child, and it took quite a while for me to realize that i needed help. i loved my kid and i know this sounds horrible but there were times that i would look at her and think " if she died, i wouldn't matter" and afterwards i would start to feel really guilty because i wasn't sure that i loved her. she is two now, and omg i don't know what i would do with out her my kids are the loves of my natural life!
everyone goes threw things like this, just remember it will capture better
especially for a first time momma, its not uncommon to feel the way you do. but seriously homily to your doctor and they will help you threw it...
good luck Source(s): Momma of 2
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