Worried in the order of my friend! what should i do?
My friend has two twin girls that were born at 34 weeks on may 19th they have be out of the hospital for some weeks no- she also has a little girl who will be a year old on the 30th ( yeah really close). anyway, she is contained by a really bad relationship. at first she amd him out to seem like an awesome guy but i could see right through it. she other goes for the awful ones. he hit her and she left for about 2 weeks and come back. i told her she shouldn't have on sat i talk to her. for some reason it seemed she had be avoiding my calls. i just read in the weekly that he has beaten the crap out of her and shot himself. he's in young offenders` institution now and being charged with wicked wounding against her. I need to know that she is ok but her phone goes straight to voice-mail. her little girl's party be suppose to be this saturday but i don't know if she is having it. what should i do? i am like her only upright friend and i am so worried. we're 22 and have be friends since we were 14. i keep relating her to stay away. shortly after she had her first she had bruises all over her arms and she claimed they be from the IV's but this was like 2 weeks later and not surrounded by the same spot. they weren't even there when i visited her within the hospital. AHH i feel so awful for her but i do for the babies too. i know if she goes back to him social services will lift her kids and i know she knwos it too. do you think i should go to her house and check on her?
you should and talk to her tell her if she wants the something unpromising to happen to her kids
YES! GO to her house and check on her! if he beat her he can also beat the kids! if she goes back to him and bring her kids taken away thats HORRIBLE! I am sure she doesn'tt want to loose her kids! GO THERE AND TALK TO HER! ask her who is more imprtant? her 3 very young kids or the guy? that beats her?
Answers: Jillian, I'm not that much older than you, and I don't know it adjectives. But I think you need to prepare yourself here. I believe you are about to keep under surveillance your friend ruin her life and lose her kids for this guy.
I know you want to help her. I know that going there and discussion to her feels like the right thing. Perhaps it is, but you won't adapt her mind. It has nothing to do with how long you've be friends or how compassionate and intelligent you are. You simply can not help someone find their own self worth/dignity/respect. Nobody can help her but herself. Let her know you're there for her, but don't hold your breath.
Watching this hurts, I know. Sorry.
I reflect on you should go to the house and check on her. She might not be happy to see you, who knows, but it is the right entry to do.
Well if he's within jail then she can't obviously dance back to him. She probably also knows that if she goes stern with him CIY will take her kids; unless he's prove to have 'changed'. I focus you really just need to be there for support. Encourage her to wish counseling she seems to need it; maybe they can facilitate her see things the way your trying to see things. It's profoundly different when your getting an outside look from somebody you don't know vs somebody you do know. When its coming from loved ones she can take it to heart and change completely but some people pilfer it as an insult and think your just against them and you don't want to help them. You can inspire her to do the counseling and they could probably help her see what you and I'm sure family members are trying to see.
Also since he's surrounded by jail for the abuse they are most likely going to craft him take classes for what he's done and his anger. Chances of it working- it really depends if he wants the help or not. Anybody can shift through counseling but the only way its going to work is if you truly want to change for your self for the better. So near that being said if he's just doing it because its ordered and he doesn't really want to change next I would really try to get her to just take it extremely slow if she is even considering going hindmost with him after all of this. It's going to be a while. You need to tolerate her know that you just want to be there for her, and try not to be controlling over everything that is arranged try to be a friend but not one of those friends that are trying to run her life (which is probably what she's thinking and that's why she's avoiding you). Leave a message on her phone and just double check on the birthday party and speak that you have a great gift and you hope all is very well.
I would go check up on her. Even if shes not happy to see you it will settle your mind.
definatly make sure her and those babies are ok!!
Yea. Go check on her
you are such a good person. this is what i would do i would call her be off her a message and if she doesn't call back in 2 days consequently go to her house and see if she is ok. if she answer's the door just say u be driving by and wondered if u could talk to her. if she doesnt answer the door just write a note and video it to her door. but dont go in bug her she is in aching.
yes! I would be in motion and check on her.
It's pretty possible she's too embarrassed to reach out to you, so yeah, go see her.
I would come up with about bringing a small gift. Nothing major -- a partly bottle of wine, a small box of chocolates, something like that. A "get well soon" for somebody who's not sick, you know?
absolutely go to her house. i would at least. true friendships are tried within the most difficult ways. be there for her, especially if she doesn't have anyone else. she may even push you away, but she needs you immediately more than ever. if she does push you away, don't write her off. above anything she needs to take effort of her babies. and she'll need your help with that. it's a viscous cycle, i'm so sorry to hear just about this. =(
yes and step on it
Yes, and make sure she stays away from that looser or she will loose her kids & im sure she won't want that to happen, tell her that's no style to live, being beaten up by a man, he can't be making her happy? she wants to take a step back & look at all the bleak points in this relationship & weigh them up with the good & i bet the discouraging over weigh the good, it's not healthy for her babys or her, all the best to her x~~
My assessment is you should go to her house and check one her..it sounds like you care for her closely, and calling doesn't work..so go over there
At your age I would have been the next soul in jail. It would take nearly a day after I bailed her husband out and pick him up as her was leaving put in prison. I'm hot headed, and at 22 I was without prudence for the consequences.
Seriously though in my current mind I think you should call a local woman's shelter and ask for guidance. If that doesn't work call crises services. One of these services will give you valid advice for dealing near her, try to get her to talk to them after you do.
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you should and talk to her tell her if she wants the something unpromising to happen to her kids
YES! GO to her house and check on her! if he beat her he can also beat the kids! if she goes back to him and bring her kids taken away thats HORRIBLE! I am sure she doesn'tt want to loose her kids! GO THERE AND TALK TO HER! ask her who is more imprtant? her 3 very young kids or the guy? that beats her?
Answers: Jillian, I'm not that much older than you, and I don't know it adjectives. But I think you need to prepare yourself here. I believe you are about to keep under surveillance your friend ruin her life and lose her kids for this guy.
I know you want to help her. I know that going there and discussion to her feels like the right thing. Perhaps it is, but you won't adapt her mind. It has nothing to do with how long you've be friends or how compassionate and intelligent you are. You simply can not help someone find their own self worth/dignity/respect. Nobody can help her but herself. Let her know you're there for her, but don't hold your breath.
Watching this hurts, I know. Sorry.
I reflect on you should go to the house and check on her. She might not be happy to see you, who knows, but it is the right entry to do.
Well if he's within jail then she can't obviously dance back to him. She probably also knows that if she goes stern with him CIY will take her kids; unless he's prove to have 'changed'. I focus you really just need to be there for support. Encourage her to wish counseling she seems to need it; maybe they can facilitate her see things the way your trying to see things. It's profoundly different when your getting an outside look from somebody you don't know vs somebody you do know. When its coming from loved ones she can take it to heart and change completely but some people pilfer it as an insult and think your just against them and you don't want to help them. You can inspire her to do the counseling and they could probably help her see what you and I'm sure family members are trying to see.
Also since he's surrounded by jail for the abuse they are most likely going to craft him take classes for what he's done and his anger. Chances of it working- it really depends if he wants the help or not. Anybody can shift through counseling but the only way its going to work is if you truly want to change for your self for the better. So near that being said if he's just doing it because its ordered and he doesn't really want to change next I would really try to get her to just take it extremely slow if she is even considering going hindmost with him after all of this. It's going to be a while. You need to tolerate her know that you just want to be there for her, and try not to be controlling over everything that is arranged try to be a friend but not one of those friends that are trying to run her life (which is probably what she's thinking and that's why she's avoiding you). Leave a message on her phone and just double check on the birthday party and speak that you have a great gift and you hope all is very well.
I would go check up on her. Even if shes not happy to see you it will settle your mind.
definatly make sure her and those babies are ok!!
Yea. Go check on her
you are such a good person. this is what i would do i would call her be off her a message and if she doesn't call back in 2 days consequently go to her house and see if she is ok. if she answer's the door just say u be driving by and wondered if u could talk to her. if she doesnt answer the door just write a note and video it to her door. but dont go in bug her she is in aching.
yes! I would be in motion and check on her.
It's pretty possible she's too embarrassed to reach out to you, so yeah, go see her.
I would come up with about bringing a small gift. Nothing major -- a partly bottle of wine, a small box of chocolates, something like that. A "get well soon" for somebody who's not sick, you know?
absolutely go to her house. i would at least. true friendships are tried within the most difficult ways. be there for her, especially if she doesn't have anyone else. she may even push you away, but she needs you immediately more than ever. if she does push you away, don't write her off. above anything she needs to take effort of her babies. and she'll need your help with that. it's a viscous cycle, i'm so sorry to hear just about this. =(
yes and step on it
Yes, and make sure she stays away from that looser or she will loose her kids & im sure she won't want that to happen, tell her that's no style to live, being beaten up by a man, he can't be making her happy? she wants to take a step back & look at all the bleak points in this relationship & weigh them up with the good & i bet the discouraging over weigh the good, it's not healthy for her babys or her, all the best to her x~~
My assessment is you should go to her house and check one her..it sounds like you care for her closely, and calling doesn't work..so go over there
At your age I would have been the next soul in jail. It would take nearly a day after I bailed her husband out and pick him up as her was leaving put in prison. I'm hot headed, and at 22 I was without prudence for the consequences.
Seriously though in my current mind I think you should call a local woman's shelter and ask for guidance. If that doesn't work call crises services. One of these services will give you valid advice for dealing near her, try to get her to talk to them after you do.
Related Questions: