Why can't I attain it thru my guide!?
He's with me, he married me, he calls me regularly all day/night.. constantly say he loves me, thinks the world of me..
What is my problem??
Read more on my previous questions, but basically he only just rec'd visitation rights for his kids and hasn't had proper "closure" with his ex due to the way the break up finished.
He wants me present at the pick up/exchange, he makes sure his wedding leash is on when he sees her... but I can just FEEL his nervousness when he deal with her... as well as his jealousy when he see her new bf. Why is this bothering me? How can I relax and what would a man prefer that I, as his new wife to do during these times?
What kind of calming "phrases" can I put in my mind to help me know I don't have crap to verbs about... or do I?
You should know and keep telling yourself that he wouldn't of married you or be a great man to you if he didn't love you. It is nice that he does want you there when he does hold to see her to get or bring back his kids, I think it is him showing her that he loves you. His tentativeness could just be because they ending things badly but do hold to deal with each other for the children. You could be over react to the jealousy you think he has towards her boyfriend. You could a moment ago be open and honest with him, you are his wife and she is only apart of his duration because she is the mother to his children. Just take a breath and relax, I'm sure everything is okay.
Your situation is almost similar to mine. My husband, (who married me, has a baby with me, is devoted to me) have a baby momma. Who is visiting this week actually. (yes shes satying within the guest house) . I have major problems with it. I married him knowing this but in a minute that we have our own family it feels resembling when he goes and spends time with his other boy its like he's spending time near his other family. It kills me, and everytime I look at her all I can judge of is them screwing. He hardly sees his other son, we live within cali she lives in florida, and so he really wants to spend time with his boy. It drives me crazy even though he tell me all these wonderful things and is with me.I think its lately hard to be in a situation like that. I'm sorry.
Answers: ''What kind of reassuring "phrases" can I put within my mind...'' You already have one, right on your wedding finger ! When you're nervous, twirl it around and remember HE CHOSE YOU !
Sure, these are difficult situations to do business with, for all parties involved. I have an idea that it's great that he wants to remain involved for the kid, it shows he is a man with morals ! You should be proud of him !
And yes, he will be nervous around her, especially if they be together a while (which I'm assuming because they have a child) and it ended badly. It took ME years and years not to be apprehensive when I know I was going to be around my previous seven-year ex-boyfriend and we didn't even have children ! And I absolute LOVE my husband to departure and would never ever cheat on him. How do you feel around your ex's, if you have any ?
If you really feel he is green with envy of her new bf, I would talk to him about it. It might only be because this guy is the new surrogate Dad to his child, obviously it would be awkward and there might be some competition within. Especially if she left him for that guy. (??)
And in any case, I would STILL discuss to him about it. Or more precisely, I would be open and show my support to let YOUR HUSBAND vent his ambience on this whole situation. Only if there is prolonged avoiding or lying etc would I start to be worried. He is your husband and innocent until proven guilty...
EDIT : What you are feeling is completely middle-of-the-road. it's letting those feelings of jealousy guide your actions that might hurt your realtionship...
Guess it a short time ago depends on the situation and how his prior relationship ended -- how soon you two got together, and so on. I could see where you would verbs somewhat. Its always hard to follow a relationship there especially where on earth kids are involved and that person will never totally be out of their life. Perhaps see if you can just feel the pick-up and drop-off so he doesn't have to see them at all, or change it so the kids are picked up by the other parent at conservatory or daycare to avoid run-ins at all. Otherwise, I think time will be the true test and healer of adjectives things...and he's your husband, you just have to tell him how you be aware of and what you've been noticing and see if he can't help or adjust things to create you more comfortable. I'm sure things are tense in those situations at first until everyone gets used to things. If things stay nervous over time, however, then I think its safe to start worrying afterwards.
It sounds similar to you are a little insecure. I totally went through it with my fiance. It sucks that they enjoy exes and children with them. it is really hard to imagine that he be once in love with her and now have to associate with her due to the children. Maybe you should talk to a counselor. sometimes it helps to read aloud it out loud and realize how silly it is.
He may be having a hard time seeing her near a new life and love but he will get over it eventually. He must own strong feelings for you if you are married. It sounds like he is doing everything he can to reassure you that he is with you and singular you.
Try to relax and enjoy your time with his kids. He will appreciate that a lot.
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What is my problem??
Read more on my previous questions, but basically he only just rec'd visitation rights for his kids and hasn't had proper "closure" with his ex due to the way the break up finished.
He wants me present at the pick up/exchange, he makes sure his wedding leash is on when he sees her... but I can just FEEL his nervousness when he deal with her... as well as his jealousy when he see her new bf. Why is this bothering me? How can I relax and what would a man prefer that I, as his new wife to do during these times?
What kind of calming "phrases" can I put in my mind to help me know I don't have crap to verbs about... or do I?
You should know and keep telling yourself that he wouldn't of married you or be a great man to you if he didn't love you. It is nice that he does want you there when he does hold to see her to get or bring back his kids, I think it is him showing her that he loves you. His tentativeness could just be because they ending things badly but do hold to deal with each other for the children. You could be over react to the jealousy you think he has towards her boyfriend. You could a moment ago be open and honest with him, you are his wife and she is only apart of his duration because she is the mother to his children. Just take a breath and relax, I'm sure everything is okay.
Your situation is almost similar to mine. My husband, (who married me, has a baby with me, is devoted to me) have a baby momma. Who is visiting this week actually. (yes shes satying within the guest house) . I have major problems with it. I married him knowing this but in a minute that we have our own family it feels resembling when he goes and spends time with his other boy its like he's spending time near his other family. It kills me, and everytime I look at her all I can judge of is them screwing. He hardly sees his other son, we live within cali she lives in florida, and so he really wants to spend time with his boy. It drives me crazy even though he tell me all these wonderful things and is with me.I think its lately hard to be in a situation like that. I'm sorry.
Answers: ''What kind of reassuring "phrases" can I put within my mind...'' You already have one, right on your wedding finger ! When you're nervous, twirl it around and remember HE CHOSE YOU !
Sure, these are difficult situations to do business with, for all parties involved. I have an idea that it's great that he wants to remain involved for the kid, it shows he is a man with morals ! You should be proud of him !
And yes, he will be nervous around her, especially if they be together a while (which I'm assuming because they have a child) and it ended badly. It took ME years and years not to be apprehensive when I know I was going to be around my previous seven-year ex-boyfriend and we didn't even have children ! And I absolute LOVE my husband to departure and would never ever cheat on him. How do you feel around your ex's, if you have any ?
If you really feel he is green with envy of her new bf, I would talk to him about it. It might only be because this guy is the new surrogate Dad to his child, obviously it would be awkward and there might be some competition within. Especially if she left him for that guy. (??)
And in any case, I would STILL discuss to him about it. Or more precisely, I would be open and show my support to let YOUR HUSBAND vent his ambience on this whole situation. Only if there is prolonged avoiding or lying etc would I start to be worried. He is your husband and innocent until proven guilty...
EDIT : What you are feeling is completely middle-of-the-road. it's letting those feelings of jealousy guide your actions that might hurt your realtionship...
Guess it a short time ago depends on the situation and how his prior relationship ended -- how soon you two got together, and so on. I could see where you would verbs somewhat. Its always hard to follow a relationship there especially where on earth kids are involved and that person will never totally be out of their life. Perhaps see if you can just feel the pick-up and drop-off so he doesn't have to see them at all, or change it so the kids are picked up by the other parent at conservatory or daycare to avoid run-ins at all. Otherwise, I think time will be the true test and healer of adjectives things...and he's your husband, you just have to tell him how you be aware of and what you've been noticing and see if he can't help or adjust things to create you more comfortable. I'm sure things are tense in those situations at first until everyone gets used to things. If things stay nervous over time, however, then I think its safe to start worrying afterwards.
It sounds similar to you are a little insecure. I totally went through it with my fiance. It sucks that they enjoy exes and children with them. it is really hard to imagine that he be once in love with her and now have to associate with her due to the children. Maybe you should talk to a counselor. sometimes it helps to read aloud it out loud and realize how silly it is.
He may be having a hard time seeing her near a new life and love but he will get over it eventually. He must own strong feelings for you if you are married. It sounds like he is doing everything he can to reassure you that he is with you and singular you.
Try to relax and enjoy your time with his kids. He will appreciate that a lot.
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