I inevitability some guidance on how to hande a situation near my 12 year antiquated daughter?
My daughter is 12 she is on the honor roll and is a very well behaved girl.Well I tried to og into my yahoo and her justification was still open and I seen she have a lot of messages from a boy on myspace she knows him from school.I don't mind her have boys as friends but I thought I knew all her friends im thinking there is a principle she is keeping it from me.I don't want to be a snoop and violate her trust but im worried about this we told her no boyfriends until she is 15 and when she is aeound us she acts like they gross are something should I snoop or donate it alone?I know if I confront her she will be embarrassed and flip out.HELP!
I think You should keep this in your prayers that your daughter does not return with involved in any worldly issues.
Believe me, a few days ago I was encountering the similar problem. I be in deep infatuation with one of my classmates. I know this was wrong. So i consulted my parents and explained them how my emotions and sentiments were misleading me.
They prayed for me,and still they are continuing to do that. And believe me, I am passion much better. All those convicting thoughts are getting released now a days. Prayers are working. Jesus is working in my life.
So pray rugged. And have family prayer every day minus fail. Your daughter will never fall into temptations.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
I vote confront her. It was an accident on your part and if she finds out following that you saw the messages you lose her trust anyways. tell her you didn't read any of them and are not upset you're just Curious who he is. I would talk to my twelve year out-of-date about it. She is also on the honor roll and knows I trust her. Keep the lines of communication open. Do you really want her to verbs to hide things from you?
dont snoop. keep a good eye on your kid and the communication lines initiate. be the best parent you can. kids dont tell us everything, but hopefully all the good stuff we skilled them is still with them as they start to 'leave the nest'. you gotta trust yourself and trust them. it's hard i know. but ur right, snooping will embarrass her and later she will hide everything from you. that said.she should still follow all your ground rules, curfew, school, types of ethnic group she can hang out with, expectations and responsibilites. then distribute her some freedom if she complies. fair is fair
coming from a 13 year old, i know how the average teen mind works. if she's acting like boys are gross and what not, she's obviously trying too put away the fact she likes them. if she gets you to believe she think boys are gross and she actually has a boyfriend, she'll have no problem sneaking around beside him. that's my theory :)
when my daughter is 12 (she is 7 now) and she has email and everything, i WILL be checking her messages and such because there are profusely of perverts out there and you never know what she could get into. right now she is fixed to webkinz world and pbs kids dot org but she will venture into other things. isn't 12 a little young for myspace? you're VERY right to look out!
I dont allow my kids to have a myspace or an email unless i have the password! I do this because i dont trust everyone on the internet and kids are naive ! I influence ask her and see what she says, if shes keeping this from you who knows what else she my be keeping from you Source(s): Mom of 3
Answers: Well, think about this. If you do snoop and wind up up finding something concerning, are you just going to ignore it, or will you ask her about it? You'll enjoy to speak to her eventually, so you may as well do it now. I don't think it's necessarily a concern that she hasn't mentioned him even so. Preteens tend to begin trying to make certain things private, mostly out of awkwardness. I would just start a general conversation about boys and safekeeping online and offline in general. Tell her that she can be open beside you. This should be an ongoing discussion that should have started a couple of years ago, and before she joined Myspace. It should grow as she grows. There's no obligation to break your daughter's trust if there's open communication.
P.S.- You are supposed to be at least 14 to have a Myspace statement. I don't want to alarm you, but it is easy enough for someone to phish and get her personal information.
If your very protective of her and know all of her friends next maybe she wanted to keep this from you because she didn't want to be feeling shame by you. you know how preteens are. don't jump to conclusions though, i just watch track too much TV and this is the usual case.
sister of six, all younger
well im 16 myself and your the mother, its good thats shes foing flawless in school and everything and maybe it isnt a boyfriend a short time ago a close friend like i have with another girl, but basically pop a question or talk to her about it, possibly shes scared that she'll let you down if you found out but also if she did that would lose trust, as a teenager, i can notify you that its better to ask a question a be straight up forward with it, talk and of late make things clear or say hes kind of cute or something at the train but tell her to wait she'll feel close to a closer relationship and happy Source(s): my life
you allow her to have a computer, afterwards don't allow her to have friends on the computer...doesn't make sense. As long as she behaves, leave your job her alone.
hm. thats difficult. i'd say that you should look on her myspace and find more in the region of this guy, what he's like. if he looks like trouble , then he probably is.. and that's why she hasn't told you, she know you won't approve and doesn't want to not only disappoint you but also doesn't want an arguement.
hope i helped and good luuck (: Source(s): sixteen years dated.. twelve not too long ago and know exactly what your daughter's probably doin, sounds alot like what i did!
leave it alone! do not violate her trust! if you want her to trust and respect you you git to donate her a little respect too!
do not confront her! if i was her i would be totally embaressed! dont be worried, its only what teens do these days. If you really think it gets out of foot you can talk to her but i really dont think you should.
You do not want to confront her or she'll know you've been snooping. But I think you've given her too much freedom on the computer. My daughter is only 10, and she know her time online is for school related stuff and I sit with her. I don't allow her to enjoy an email address even though she does email my sister (her godmother) who lives over seas... it's done through my email account.
She might be well behave and an honor roll student, but don't let that confuse you with thinking that she won't save secrets... all kids keep secret from their parents. The other thing that does not make sense here is, why does your daughter have a Myspace explanation?
Your daughter is 12 years old! Of course boys are going to talk to her, presently if you feel their being to sexual, then you confront her, and your the parent you enjoy the right to know all her bussiness, it's your house, your bussiess. P.S. you actually let your child flip-out? So what if she loses your trust and get embarresd, your the PARENT NOT HER FRIEND!!
Well, I'm 15 & I know what it is to have friends that my parents aren't aware of. There's eternal possibilities as to why she hasn't told you. Sometimes parents assume there's something going on & that's why we dont have that comfort in telling them in the order of every friend. Sometimes there might actually be a guy who's more than a friend. The best thing to do is any trust that you raised her the right way & that she'll respect the NO BOYFRIEND TILL SHE'S 15 policy or gain her trust & speak to her in a really relaxed, "friend point of view" instrument. Be a friend to her so she'll open up to you & not as much as a mom.
Don't let her know you snooped! She will try even harder to maintain things from you. I suggest you keep reminding her why you want her to wait to have a boyfriend until she's 15, but save in mind that kids enter high school at 14. Maybe you can even lower the age to 14 and relate her it's because she has shown you so much respect and openness. Let her know you really value that kindliness as well. She may choose not to tell you about this boy, ever, but remember that tweens are transitioning into a fresh phase of their lives and value independence. Make sure the lines of communication with you are other open so that she can come to you when she REALLY needs you.
Okay,
I just turned 16, && my mom saiid that I couldn't date til I be 15.
Well.I have been dating since I was 12.:/
Reason that she didn't know?
I be responsible (i.e no serious public [or private for that matter] sexual activity), I kept my grades up && I balanced it out with hanging near my other friends as well.
People start to show intrest in the opposite sex around that age, && even EARLIER if you are a girl.
Telling her she can't date won't stop her from discussion to this boy (obviously), it'll just encourage her to see guys behind your final...which is even worse.
So, I suggest the following
a) Loosen up your rules. Fun, supervised, responsible dating at this age as bad as parents may invision.
&&
b) Sit down && have a talk next to your daughter about responsible dating, && creating a balance between boys && other stuff in her energy.
That way, when that first boyfriend does come along, you will BOTH be more comfortable.
<333
Maybe you should take for like a "girls day" type of thing and slowly bring it up. Then possibly she will be more open about it.
It's probably just a safe crush and maybe a little flirting. When I was 12, I hide my crushes from my Mom, too, but I wasn't actually doing anything with the boy except flirting and trying to talk to him as much as possible.
I don't recommend snooping any further -- if you lose her trust right back the teen years, you'll be in for a rocky road. You'll get a lot further if you present yourself as someone she can confide within.
But in this situation, I'd just guess that it's a crush. :)
No need to be "flipping out" at this point
she is 12...and, almost for sure is going to have some "secrets" that kind her feel that she is 'grownup' and 'independent' .
You are aware of this situation now... and, can quietly monitor the situation from the sidelines. You don't enjoy to be the Gestapo at this point in time...
If ...or...when... she gives you cause to come up with that she is getting into more risky behavior. like lying about things or the like. THEN you can start a closer monitor and inquiry into these types of things. to simply be on the safe side.
Sorry to inform you, however... this "no boyfriend" rule... is a little unrealistic. NOT for her as far as DATING is concerned . but... as far as her being interested surrounded by and taking on guys as "special
friends"... that rule will just simply not be observed..period. and, that is more than expected what is going on here.
///
At this point, there isn't really a foundation to assume she wants to be anything more than friends with this boy. I had like peas in a pod kind of issues when I was 12, and sometimes I wouldn't want to tell my parents I be really good friends who were guys in covering they got the wrong ideas and wouldn't let me sway out with him.
If you are concerned, there is no reason why you shouldn't parley to her. It does depend on the personality of your daughter, but if you explain the situation from your point of view, she might understand. Or, you could bring up the subject of boys next to her without the thing about msypace to avoid mortifying her. Also, if you maintain a great relationship with your daughter, she will be more likely to verbalize to you about these kind of situations.
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I think You should keep this in your prayers that your daughter does not return with involved in any worldly issues.
Believe me, a few days ago I was encountering the similar problem. I be in deep infatuation with one of my classmates. I know this was wrong. So i consulted my parents and explained them how my emotions and sentiments were misleading me.
They prayed for me,and still they are continuing to do that. And believe me, I am passion much better. All those convicting thoughts are getting released now a days. Prayers are working. Jesus is working in my life.
So pray rugged. And have family prayer every day minus fail. Your daughter will never fall into temptations.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
I vote confront her. It was an accident on your part and if she finds out following that you saw the messages you lose her trust anyways. tell her you didn't read any of them and are not upset you're just Curious who he is. I would talk to my twelve year out-of-date about it. She is also on the honor roll and knows I trust her. Keep the lines of communication open. Do you really want her to verbs to hide things from you?
dont snoop. keep a good eye on your kid and the communication lines initiate. be the best parent you can. kids dont tell us everything, but hopefully all the good stuff we skilled them is still with them as they start to 'leave the nest'. you gotta trust yourself and trust them. it's hard i know. but ur right, snooping will embarrass her and later she will hide everything from you. that said.she should still follow all your ground rules, curfew, school, types of ethnic group she can hang out with, expectations and responsibilites. then distribute her some freedom if she complies. fair is fair
coming from a 13 year old, i know how the average teen mind works. if she's acting like boys are gross and what not, she's obviously trying too put away the fact she likes them. if she gets you to believe she think boys are gross and she actually has a boyfriend, she'll have no problem sneaking around beside him. that's my theory :)
when my daughter is 12 (she is 7 now) and she has email and everything, i WILL be checking her messages and such because there are profusely of perverts out there and you never know what she could get into. right now she is fixed to webkinz world and pbs kids dot org but she will venture into other things. isn't 12 a little young for myspace? you're VERY right to look out!
I dont allow my kids to have a myspace or an email unless i have the password! I do this because i dont trust everyone on the internet and kids are naive ! I influence ask her and see what she says, if shes keeping this from you who knows what else she my be keeping from you Source(s): Mom of 3
Answers: Well, think about this. If you do snoop and wind up up finding something concerning, are you just going to ignore it, or will you ask her about it? You'll enjoy to speak to her eventually, so you may as well do it now. I don't think it's necessarily a concern that she hasn't mentioned him even so. Preteens tend to begin trying to make certain things private, mostly out of awkwardness. I would just start a general conversation about boys and safekeeping online and offline in general. Tell her that she can be open beside you. This should be an ongoing discussion that should have started a couple of years ago, and before she joined Myspace. It should grow as she grows. There's no obligation to break your daughter's trust if there's open communication.
P.S.- You are supposed to be at least 14 to have a Myspace statement. I don't want to alarm you, but it is easy enough for someone to phish and get her personal information.
If your very protective of her and know all of her friends next maybe she wanted to keep this from you because she didn't want to be feeling shame by you. you know how preteens are. don't jump to conclusions though, i just watch track too much TV and this is the usual case.
sister of six, all younger
well im 16 myself and your the mother, its good thats shes foing flawless in school and everything and maybe it isnt a boyfriend a short time ago a close friend like i have with another girl, but basically pop a question or talk to her about it, possibly shes scared that she'll let you down if you found out but also if she did that would lose trust, as a teenager, i can notify you that its better to ask a question a be straight up forward with it, talk and of late make things clear or say hes kind of cute or something at the train but tell her to wait she'll feel close to a closer relationship and happy Source(s): my life
you allow her to have a computer, afterwards don't allow her to have friends on the computer...doesn't make sense. As long as she behaves, leave your job her alone.
hm. thats difficult. i'd say that you should look on her myspace and find more in the region of this guy, what he's like. if he looks like trouble , then he probably is.. and that's why she hasn't told you, she know you won't approve and doesn't want to not only disappoint you but also doesn't want an arguement.
hope i helped and good luuck (: Source(s): sixteen years dated.. twelve not too long ago and know exactly what your daughter's probably doin, sounds alot like what i did!
leave it alone! do not violate her trust! if you want her to trust and respect you you git to donate her a little respect too!
do not confront her! if i was her i would be totally embaressed! dont be worried, its only what teens do these days. If you really think it gets out of foot you can talk to her but i really dont think you should.
You do not want to confront her or she'll know you've been snooping. But I think you've given her too much freedom on the computer. My daughter is only 10, and she know her time online is for school related stuff and I sit with her. I don't allow her to enjoy an email address even though she does email my sister (her godmother) who lives over seas... it's done through my email account.
She might be well behave and an honor roll student, but don't let that confuse you with thinking that she won't save secrets... all kids keep secret from their parents. The other thing that does not make sense here is, why does your daughter have a Myspace explanation?
Your daughter is 12 years old! Of course boys are going to talk to her, presently if you feel their being to sexual, then you confront her, and your the parent you enjoy the right to know all her bussiness, it's your house, your bussiess. P.S. you actually let your child flip-out? So what if she loses your trust and get embarresd, your the PARENT NOT HER FRIEND!!
Well, I'm 15 & I know what it is to have friends that my parents aren't aware of. There's eternal possibilities as to why she hasn't told you. Sometimes parents assume there's something going on & that's why we dont have that comfort in telling them in the order of every friend. Sometimes there might actually be a guy who's more than a friend. The best thing to do is any trust that you raised her the right way & that she'll respect the NO BOYFRIEND TILL SHE'S 15 policy or gain her trust & speak to her in a really relaxed, "friend point of view" instrument. Be a friend to her so she'll open up to you & not as much as a mom.
Don't let her know you snooped! She will try even harder to maintain things from you. I suggest you keep reminding her why you want her to wait to have a boyfriend until she's 15, but save in mind that kids enter high school at 14. Maybe you can even lower the age to 14 and relate her it's because she has shown you so much respect and openness. Let her know you really value that kindliness as well. She may choose not to tell you about this boy, ever, but remember that tweens are transitioning into a fresh phase of their lives and value independence. Make sure the lines of communication with you are other open so that she can come to you when she REALLY needs you.
Okay,
I just turned 16, && my mom saiid that I couldn't date til I be 15.
Well.I have been dating since I was 12.:/
Reason that she didn't know?
I be responsible (i.e no serious public [or private for that matter] sexual activity), I kept my grades up && I balanced it out with hanging near my other friends as well.
People start to show intrest in the opposite sex around that age, && even EARLIER if you are a girl.
Telling her she can't date won't stop her from discussion to this boy (obviously), it'll just encourage her to see guys behind your final...which is even worse.
So, I suggest the following
a) Loosen up your rules. Fun, supervised, responsible dating at this age as bad as parents may invision.
&&
b) Sit down && have a talk next to your daughter about responsible dating, && creating a balance between boys && other stuff in her energy.
That way, when that first boyfriend does come along, you will BOTH be more comfortable.
<333
Maybe you should take for like a "girls day" type of thing and slowly bring it up. Then possibly she will be more open about it.
It's probably just a safe crush and maybe a little flirting. When I was 12, I hide my crushes from my Mom, too, but I wasn't actually doing anything with the boy except flirting and trying to talk to him as much as possible.
I don't recommend snooping any further -- if you lose her trust right back the teen years, you'll be in for a rocky road. You'll get a lot further if you present yourself as someone she can confide within.
But in this situation, I'd just guess that it's a crush. :)
No need to be "flipping out" at this point
she is 12...and, almost for sure is going to have some "secrets" that kind her feel that she is 'grownup' and 'independent' .
You are aware of this situation now... and, can quietly monitor the situation from the sidelines. You don't enjoy to be the Gestapo at this point in time...
If ...or...when... she gives you cause to come up with that she is getting into more risky behavior. like lying about things or the like. THEN you can start a closer monitor and inquiry into these types of things. to simply be on the safe side.
Sorry to inform you, however... this "no boyfriend" rule... is a little unrealistic. NOT for her as far as DATING is concerned . but... as far as her being interested surrounded by and taking on guys as "special
friends"... that rule will just simply not be observed..period. and, that is more than expected what is going on here.
///
At this point, there isn't really a foundation to assume she wants to be anything more than friends with this boy. I had like peas in a pod kind of issues when I was 12, and sometimes I wouldn't want to tell my parents I be really good friends who were guys in covering they got the wrong ideas and wouldn't let me sway out with him.
If you are concerned, there is no reason why you shouldn't parley to her. It does depend on the personality of your daughter, but if you explain the situation from your point of view, she might understand. Or, you could bring up the subject of boys next to her without the thing about msypace to avoid mortifying her. Also, if you maintain a great relationship with your daughter, she will be more likely to verbalize to you about these kind of situations.
Related Questions: