Which Custody works best for an almost 5 year antediluvian near trouble transitioning from mom to dad respectively week?
My step-daughter to be will be 5 in August(her dad and I have been together since she turned 2, and living together for yesteryear 2 years), has trouble transitioning from our house to her mother's house and back again. Currently we have a week on, week rotten schedule.
Our house is just my fiance (her father), myself, and our two kitties. While at our house, she have a regular 9 to 5 schedule with her father and currently attends the Early Learning Center during the work day. I work a bit longer hours, but am mostly home each night.
Her mothers house is her mother, her mother's boyfriend and his 12 year old daughter who is have her own difficulties transitioning to teenagerhood, and their cat. They have been living together for less than 6 months. Her mother works a charge with 12-24 hour shifts, as well as her boyfriend. They work opposite shifts so someone is other home for the most part. The 12 year old frequently goes to PA to call round her mother. They do take the little one to sitters with other children occasionally, but the little one reports that she is home with the boyfriend most of the time, as her mom is currently taking clinicals and classes over a full time work schedule, leaving her home infrequently with the little one.
She is have such difficulty, she has been making elaborate plans, (the most recent of which involved hiding and running from the cops if they come looking), near the end of each week to not budge back to the other house (she'll say she wants to stay near the current parent forever, and does so at each house). Its hard on everyone, especially her, because she doesn't understand why things are so tough for her.
With academy starting soon, we are afraid this tough transitioning will negatively affect her grades and performance, and are unsure of what to do. Neither parent wants to give up integrated custody, and we are at a standstill for doing what is best for the little one.
this week-to-week is bogus for anyone, let alone a 5y/o;; the courts "think" they own it but honestly, they just don't;; try putting yourself into that situation;; the poor girl needs a home to settle into;; to be stable in & throwing her wk-to-wk into a investigational atmosphere & playing the yes-man is doing her no favors;; she needs a stable HOME;; either one will do; (& I can tell from the process you are explaining this that you already have a bias);; all 4 of you need to look @ this from that ONE child's perspective;; & if ya ask her, SHE doesn't know what she desires;; @ least other than stability;; I'd say budge for one parent's home, visit the other on the weekends & once during the week;; it's good for the child;; BUT the other parent NEEDS to support the schooling during the time cuz that load should not be put on lone the residential parent;; this 1/2 & 1/2 is the courts way of making their job easier & placating the adults;; doesn't work for the child;; too mixed up mainly cuz ea household offer diferent criteria for her;; much too young...hope it helps... Source(s): been down this road & both parents NEED to work together & save the "other" adult's opinions OUT of the equation, sorry, but that's the way it works for the child!!
The week on, week off schedule is the problem. She doesn't really feel as if she have a "home". She feels like she is visiting at your home and at mom's home. When she's at your home, she doesn't hold all of her clothing, her toothbrush, her toys and vice versa.
I think that you know this, but one parent is going to have to liable give up custody or one parent is going to have to file a motion next to the court to amend the custody agreement. I doubt that any judge would continue the one week altering during the school year. I doubt that any lecturer would agree that the schedule is in the girls best interest.
Maybe suggest to mom that since she's going to school immediately, that the girl live with you during the school year. She could spend on night a week next to mom and most weekends or vice versa. If mom is not home each night, then she should be near her dad.
Try some mediation with a family counselor. If this matter go back to court, the judge will probably order mediation. Check beside your local family law court to get the entitle of a certified court approved mediator. The mediator should look at the situation and give an assessment as to what is the best way to resolve the matter.
Answers: i think that she should have one home during the week and the other on the weekends. it also sounds like here is issues at mom's home.
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Our house is just my fiance (her father), myself, and our two kitties. While at our house, she have a regular 9 to 5 schedule with her father and currently attends the Early Learning Center during the work day. I work a bit longer hours, but am mostly home each night.
Her mothers house is her mother, her mother's boyfriend and his 12 year old daughter who is have her own difficulties transitioning to teenagerhood, and their cat. They have been living together for less than 6 months. Her mother works a charge with 12-24 hour shifts, as well as her boyfriend. They work opposite shifts so someone is other home for the most part. The 12 year old frequently goes to PA to call round her mother. They do take the little one to sitters with other children occasionally, but the little one reports that she is home with the boyfriend most of the time, as her mom is currently taking clinicals and classes over a full time work schedule, leaving her home infrequently with the little one.
She is have such difficulty, she has been making elaborate plans, (the most recent of which involved hiding and running from the cops if they come looking), near the end of each week to not budge back to the other house (she'll say she wants to stay near the current parent forever, and does so at each house). Its hard on everyone, especially her, because she doesn't understand why things are so tough for her.
With academy starting soon, we are afraid this tough transitioning will negatively affect her grades and performance, and are unsure of what to do. Neither parent wants to give up integrated custody, and we are at a standstill for doing what is best for the little one.
this week-to-week is bogus for anyone, let alone a 5y/o;; the courts "think" they own it but honestly, they just don't;; try putting yourself into that situation;; the poor girl needs a home to settle into;; to be stable in & throwing her wk-to-wk into a investigational atmosphere & playing the yes-man is doing her no favors;; she needs a stable HOME;; either one will do; (& I can tell from the process you are explaining this that you already have a bias);; all 4 of you need to look @ this from that ONE child's perspective;; & if ya ask her, SHE doesn't know what she desires;; @ least other than stability;; I'd say budge for one parent's home, visit the other on the weekends & once during the week;; it's good for the child;; BUT the other parent NEEDS to support the schooling during the time cuz that load should not be put on lone the residential parent;; this 1/2 & 1/2 is the courts way of making their job easier & placating the adults;; doesn't work for the child;; too mixed up mainly cuz ea household offer diferent criteria for her;; much too young...hope it helps... Source(s): been down this road & both parents NEED to work together & save the "other" adult's opinions OUT of the equation, sorry, but that's the way it works for the child!!
The week on, week off schedule is the problem. She doesn't really feel as if she have a "home". She feels like she is visiting at your home and at mom's home. When she's at your home, she doesn't hold all of her clothing, her toothbrush, her toys and vice versa.
I think that you know this, but one parent is going to have to liable give up custody or one parent is going to have to file a motion next to the court to amend the custody agreement. I doubt that any judge would continue the one week altering during the school year. I doubt that any lecturer would agree that the schedule is in the girls best interest.
Maybe suggest to mom that since she's going to school immediately, that the girl live with you during the school year. She could spend on night a week next to mom and most weekends or vice versa. If mom is not home each night, then she should be near her dad.
Try some mediation with a family counselor. If this matter go back to court, the judge will probably order mediation. Check beside your local family law court to get the entitle of a certified court approved mediator. The mediator should look at the situation and give an assessment as to what is the best way to resolve the matter.
Answers: i think that she should have one home during the week and the other on the weekends. it also sounds like here is issues at mom's home.
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