Anyone want a snort on p&p?
This is an actual letter sent to Proctor and Gamble from a dissatisfied customer regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph...
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I enjoy been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm)
or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never be in motion horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach surrounded by tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the with the sole purpose company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how sheltered and secure I feel each month knowing there's a moment or two F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a time, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from in a minute, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with pierce skills. "As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen comparatively a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we withstand, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is purely crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pant... which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so sore I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I open an Always maxi-pad,
and there, printed on the adhesive backing, be these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you f__king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think pleasure - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the tiniest bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a light of day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house purely so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your existence in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi wipe, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, similar to "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, in attendance will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take
my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will indubitably miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull s__t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
A former customer
i thought the ladies might find it funny xxxx
lol yeh i wondered why on the adds it sez 'have a happy period' approaching hello what could we possibly have to be happy about at the time of the month lol gratefulness for that im super pms-ing rite nw and that made me smile x
ROFLMFAO, that is so funny. Guys do not understand what we dance through every month and yes it is a curse. I feel the same way where on earth I want to rip out my ovaries and uterus.
lmao thats class x
Brilliant! LOL! :D
Answers: I have had such a horrible sunshine and that has actually cheered me up and made laugh as capably thanks!
Love it! Thanks for the guffaw!
OMG...
Wow, that was really funny! It's true though I don't think I would like to see "Have a smiling period" on a pad or tampon. It's not a happy thing!!
Haha made me laugh anyway :) x
That was full of win, 100% awesome..
Loved it!
lol, that's hilarious, but she does have a point! lol
HIlarious! I've have a bad day today so that made my day! Thanks a bunch girlie! XXX
lmao that got me smiling thankfulness!
Thanks, gave me a chuckle
Thanks that made me laugh noticeably! Really funny xxxx
'Have a Happy Period'...what joke. Like a Pad is going to make it A-OK!
I actually quite agree with her lol.
Me and my partner other have a huge giggle when "have a positive period" comes on the tv... because well... of everything this lady states here.
"put down the hammer" lmao fantastic.
Made me giggle :D
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Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I enjoy been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm)
or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never be in motion horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach surrounded by tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the with the sole purpose company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how sheltered and secure I feel each month knowing there's a moment or two F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a time, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from in a minute, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with pierce skills. "As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen comparatively a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we withstand, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is purely crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pant... which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so sore I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I open an Always maxi-pad,
and there, printed on the adhesive backing, be these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you f__king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think pleasure - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the tiniest bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a light of day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house purely so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your existence in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi wipe, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, similar to "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, in attendance will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take
my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will indubitably miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull s__t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
A former customer
i thought the ladies might find it funny xxxx
lol yeh i wondered why on the adds it sez 'have a happy period' approaching hello what could we possibly have to be happy about at the time of the month lol gratefulness for that im super pms-ing rite nw and that made me smile x
ROFLMFAO, that is so funny. Guys do not understand what we dance through every month and yes it is a curse. I feel the same way where on earth I want to rip out my ovaries and uterus.
lmao thats class x
Brilliant! LOL! :D
Answers: I have had such a horrible sunshine and that has actually cheered me up and made laugh as capably thanks!
Love it! Thanks for the guffaw!
OMG...
Wow, that was really funny! It's true though I don't think I would like to see "Have a smiling period" on a pad or tampon. It's not a happy thing!!
Haha made me laugh anyway :) x
That was full of win, 100% awesome..
Loved it!
lol, that's hilarious, but she does have a point! lol
HIlarious! I've have a bad day today so that made my day! Thanks a bunch girlie! XXX
lmao that got me smiling thankfulness!
Thanks, gave me a chuckle
Thanks that made me laugh noticeably! Really funny xxxx
'Have a Happy Period'...what joke. Like a Pad is going to make it A-OK!
I actually quite agree with her lol.
Me and my partner other have a huge giggle when "have a positive period" comes on the tv... because well... of everything this lady states here.
"put down the hammer" lmao fantastic.
Made me giggle :D
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