How can I draw from my daughter posterior?
My daughter is know 14 almost 15. I had her since she was born and then for 8 more years. My husband, her father, cheated on me since she be born and I kicked him out in 2000. I have had to work other fulltime to support my kids, I had a son too, now 28. My ex lived with his girlfriend and after the divorce was final in 2002. 2 days after the divorce was finaliced, they get married and actually took my daughter to the wedding without me knowing, out of state. It be her weekend with him. Since I was then single, I have to continue working fulltime. She was in private conservatory previous to the divorce but he did not want to pay for it anymore, so I had to get her into public institution. IAfter school she had to stay in a program as so plentiful other children did and I picked her up after I left work. Her father sometimes even did pick her up for the assigned weekends. But as soon as he was re-married, he picked her up from school in the future in a week and then every other weekend. And that was ok because it wa court direct. But as soon as I started dating again, he started compalins...that I don't treat my daughter right...that I am unfit...and so on. He once filed a restraining order so I could not get my daughter final from the visit with her father. It was overturned by the court because he lied. However, he have more money and a big house and his wife did not have to work and they influenced my daughter to live with them because she would get everything she wishes. I tried to fight it but I did not have the money for a good attorney. My daughter needed to live with them and there was nil I could do about it. If I would have fought it with attorneys, she would hold resented me for life. So I sacrifieced and accepted. That was 6 years ago. Since later they always tried to sabotage the weekends that are supposed to be with me. They right to be heard that I have to accept that my daughter wants to be next to her firends or playing soccer or going to this event or that event. This is going on and on and on. The time I have a chance to spend with my daughter is individual half a day, one night and partly the other day. She is now 14 going on 15 and has her weekends planned beside her friends. To some point I let her cancel my weekends because I don't want her to resent me. But lately she always have something else. 7 weeks ago I asked her, on my weekend with her, if she goes with me to a deputation of my son's friends. It was a graduation party of his girlfriend. First she said yes and then she said she have something to do with her friends for school on that Saturday. I asked her if she can compromise and I pick her up at 2:00 pm instead of 10:00am. she said yes. The next afternoon shortly before I wanted to pick her up, her stepmpther called me and said that my daughter have psychologiacal problems because of me and I should not force her to be with me if she has planned something with her friends. I sid that I am her mother and I own the right to be with my daughter. She said that "No, I am her mother and you are only her birthmother". Leave her qalone. I called my ex and he blew into alike horn. That night I received a message from my daughter that she only wants to see me sometimes. And since I haven't hear from her agin. She does not answer my tests, noe my calls, her father doesn't answer the phone, her Stepmopther either. I go to their house, (2 hours away), and no one opens the doors. I contacted my ex-inlawas, they don't answer either. The phones are working, they lately ignore me. If I involve court or a lawyer, I can't afford, she may resent me more. But I have still no view why my own dayghter won't respond and call or at least text me or conatct me. It is seven (7) weeks presently and no word. Anyone now what I should do. I do not have any money for lawyers.
i'm sorry to hear/read your dilemma. it's already hard and tough even, that your own daughter have started shunning you. i'm not a psychology major graduate nor any doctor of that level, however, it seems that your rich ex and his wife made abundantly of brainwashing and really showing her all the good things in resembling for her to turn around from you. i fully understand that right now you can't even afford to hire an attorney to fight what is yours.
Find a style to talk to your daughter, if possible in individual. its easy to suggest to send her text, reminder or email, but this could be diverted and be halted along the way hence your daughter will never get it. only have her promise you one weekend afternoon and just plainly talk, ask her what she really requirements to do with her life. you at your end, own to be brave and strong what she will response to you back. sooner or later, she will fully understand that what you've be trying to do is for you to spend time with her and just want to be with her.
she may not realize immediately because she's still very young, naive and newly being a teenager, but let her know that you're only there to support her whatever it be.
try not to make any sensational actions that will only lead to own flesh and blood matters in court. just preserve your bargain in tact, because you have the decree at your side.
I wish you good luck! And if you a faith within religion, i also suggest to pray.
For future reference, PLEASE break your post up into paragraph!
As far as I know, kids of her age can choose who they want to live with.Now, if it is court ordered for your daughter to spend time with you, she has no other choice and neither does her father nor STEP mother.
I would force your child to spend at smallest one day with you and discus things with her.Ask her why she doesn't want to spend time beside you and what is going on.Don't get too pissed or needy..just see where on earth the child is coming from.You should also mention that you love her and would really like to spend some time with her while you have it.Even if it is a lunch date or shopping date etc. don't withdraw your weekends or it will seem like you don't care.She is still a minor and you are still her mother.If you enjoy visitations (court ordered) she has to go.
Answers: I'm sorry this is going on to you it seems really harsh and inappropriate of them. As her mother you enjoy every right to see her and I suggest you go to the courts and seek legal suggestion on what is going on and how you can ensure you get time to your daughter. YOu can also get a restraining order on his wife if she is abuse you on the phone and also him. I fear that they have worlked their magic on your daughter and she is enjoy being bought. You cant make her see you however if you continuously hound her with sms and call she will just ignore you more and get annoyed. prehapse if you agree to her come to you when she is ready i know that seems impossible as your heart is breaking with adjectives this but i dont think hounding her is the best thing. As a teenager she'll simply keep away from you more if you hound her. Prehapse give her time one day she'll rouse up and see the real worlf for what is is until then youll have to any seek legal advice or move about with it. i hope it works out and your daughter figures out she has a wonderful mum who cres almost her and loves her and comes back to you!
It sounds like they are brain washing her & buying her offwith toys and everything she wants. Maybe you could try getting contained by contact with one of her friends and see whatsup.. That might work.. Or show up at her school.. Or try blocking your number *67; Im sorry, Im not much of a help, But I wishyou the best of luck; I would close to to keep in contact; Send me an email back; drop-dead-gawdjuss@live.com
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i'm sorry to hear/read your dilemma. it's already hard and tough even, that your own daughter have started shunning you. i'm not a psychology major graduate nor any doctor of that level, however, it seems that your rich ex and his wife made abundantly of brainwashing and really showing her all the good things in resembling for her to turn around from you. i fully understand that right now you can't even afford to hire an attorney to fight what is yours.
Find a style to talk to your daughter, if possible in individual. its easy to suggest to send her text, reminder or email, but this could be diverted and be halted along the way hence your daughter will never get it. only have her promise you one weekend afternoon and just plainly talk, ask her what she really requirements to do with her life. you at your end, own to be brave and strong what she will response to you back. sooner or later, she will fully understand that what you've be trying to do is for you to spend time with her and just want to be with her.
she may not realize immediately because she's still very young, naive and newly being a teenager, but let her know that you're only there to support her whatever it be.
try not to make any sensational actions that will only lead to own flesh and blood matters in court. just preserve your bargain in tact, because you have the decree at your side.
I wish you good luck! And if you a faith within religion, i also suggest to pray.
For future reference, PLEASE break your post up into paragraph!
As far as I know, kids of her age can choose who they want to live with.Now, if it is court ordered for your daughter to spend time with you, she has no other choice and neither does her father nor STEP mother.
I would force your child to spend at smallest one day with you and discus things with her.Ask her why she doesn't want to spend time beside you and what is going on.Don't get too pissed or needy..just see where on earth the child is coming from.You should also mention that you love her and would really like to spend some time with her while you have it.Even if it is a lunch date or shopping date etc. don't withdraw your weekends or it will seem like you don't care.She is still a minor and you are still her mother.If you enjoy visitations (court ordered) she has to go.
Answers: I'm sorry this is going on to you it seems really harsh and inappropriate of them. As her mother you enjoy every right to see her and I suggest you go to the courts and seek legal suggestion on what is going on and how you can ensure you get time to your daughter. YOu can also get a restraining order on his wife if she is abuse you on the phone and also him. I fear that they have worlked their magic on your daughter and she is enjoy being bought. You cant make her see you however if you continuously hound her with sms and call she will just ignore you more and get annoyed. prehapse if you agree to her come to you when she is ready i know that seems impossible as your heart is breaking with adjectives this but i dont think hounding her is the best thing. As a teenager she'll simply keep away from you more if you hound her. Prehapse give her time one day she'll rouse up and see the real worlf for what is is until then youll have to any seek legal advice or move about with it. i hope it works out and your daughter figures out she has a wonderful mum who cres almost her and loves her and comes back to you!
It sounds like they are brain washing her & buying her offwith toys and everything she wants. Maybe you could try getting contained by contact with one of her friends and see whatsup.. That might work.. Or show up at her school.. Or try blocking your number *67; Im sorry, Im not much of a help, But I wishyou the best of luck; I would close to to keep in contact; Send me an email back; drop-dead-gawdjuss@live.com
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