Why do some relatives regard that human being near the inbred parents is other better?
My older sister is a social worker who has seen some pretty unpromising things and heard some bad stories. Some of the worst she told me were: a 10 year out-of-date girl who lost almost all her fingers and toes because her natural parents left her outside surrounded by a snowstorm for 6 hours, a 11 year old girl whose natural father made her perform oral sex on him, a 13 year matured boy who had whip and burn marks adjectives over his face and body because his natural mother found out he was gay, and a 2 year matured developmentally disabled girl who was found dead in her increase chair, covered in maggot infested sores, because her natural parents didn't want to concordat with her. I just don't understand how some family can think adoption is worse than these stories. What kind of sick person would ponder a child is better off abused or dead than with parents who aren't biologically relateecstaticim or her?
it's not always better.
It's just what nature intended.
Of course, base on human decisions and choice, nature's plan can go wrong. As per your example - abuse.
That doesn't automatically stingy it WILL go wrong if adoption doesn't occur.
Being unadopted doesn't guarantee abuse. Human choice does.
I don't think adoption is "the worst" (I'm all for adoption actually), but I also don't think that you can consider an entire class of people based off these examples. If a individual is a horrible human being and a negligent 'parent', then that's merely who they are. Whether they are natural or adoptive is completely irrelevant really. Complete strangers who don't have children at all are also sickos who knock about and torment children. Its all about the person, not their parental status.
EXACTLY! If those children had be adopted perhaps they'd be alive today and their parents wouldn't be in incarcerate. People have these overly idealistic ideas just about so-called "nuclear:" (biological) families and think they are the only approach, but not all families are functional. People need to stop stigmatizing adoption.
Your examples are extreme. I don't doubt they are true, however.
I hold never heard any reasonable person vote that all children should always be raised by pure parents. Some children will need to be raised by other people.
The requirements of children must be the determining factor. Do they really need a different home, or not.
The problem has been that we enjoy an adoption industry which is meeting the needs of adults who want to acquire children.The adoption industry is booming...and largely unregulated, and world-wide.
Answers: I couldn't agree more with you, I always remind people that they can hold precautions or, in case it's too late for any other recipe, they still can choose adoption, but that would penny-pinching admitting to one selves their incompetence.
On the other hand, I've seen adopt children that eventually find their biological parents and are taken advantaged or psychologically abused. Not to mention this could happen within the clan anyway (biological or adopted). This is why formal institutions on adoption try to choose adopting parents that are more or less psychologically balanced and givers (not rich, but to be sure emotionally speaking).
Authorities always try to persuade and help biological mothers NOT to move their children. I live in Greece and the number of children in Care Centers waiting to be adopted is extremely larger than the parents applying for adoption. There are also children near health problems that are usually unwanted by adopting parents, due to extra care and financial burden. The waiting roll is also large and the procedure is very time-consuming.
This leads to a substantial number of illegal adoption, where it is highly possible that children assemble hard circumstances with no official guarantee whatsoever, concerning their future or their personal right to know about their roots.
Another thing is that relatives consider adoption as a big taboo, because of the way they are tough about creating a family. Tough situations within your everyday life are:
- Where are you from?
- You really don't look alike your parents!
- If my biological child were alive, it would be more loving, caring and grateful than you are (these are words of my adopt mother)
Listen to this:
A stewardess that left her child in the Care Center, without signing up for adoption. She would come on weekends to see her daughter but every Monday she would pinch her back. Eventually after FIVE years, the child had become so stressed that she used to hide and rebuff to see her mother. Why on earth couldn't this woman sign the damn paper and waited for 5 long years for her child to live surrounded by there with no family at adjectives? It's SO selfish it makes me want to cry.
A police officer who left his babe-in-arms (that was hermaphrodite) until the surgery, so that his family wouldn't see it.
Another man who was never adopt and lived in the Center until 18, he finally found his biological mother who now was pushing him to whip of her, give her money etc, as she was really old.
So you see human relationships are NOT blood neither freshly a sign on the wall. It needs love and really know yourself before you can decide for another human mortal.
These thing happen smaller quantity with adopted parents because they are monitored more. Most children find it very concrete to move in with a stranger and become their child. These cases are very infrequent and serious consequences follow. The only reason that people influence that is because children find it hard to call someone else "mummy and daddy"
hope this answers your ask
Urban Gandhi Source(s): Urban Gandhi knows all!
The adoptive parent could be just as impossible, if not worse than the biological parents. But in a case where on earth the bio parents aren't bad and the child is taken away from them it can cause psychological damage (of course treat roughly is damage too)
I dunno...why do some people think its better to be adopted?
I hold some mighty nasty scars on my body, left by the buckles of my a Dad's belts. Those are the ones you can see..
No one here have EVER said a child is better off in an abusive home. I dare you to find a post that say that. Ill be waiting.. Source(s): generalize much?
No one here supports a parent abusing a child.
You are assuming that children would be abused have they not been lost to adoption. That's wrong and offensive to many.
They're probably like people that think the halocaust wasn't real. In an great world, it would be nice if all parents took responcibility and raised their children in the best passageway possible. But, the worlds not like that. Thank god for adopitve parents. They really are amazing people.
My husband adopted my daughter and it be the best thing for her. Her biological father took off the day I found out I be pregnant and it was the best thing for her. He was slighting, emotionally and physically, he was controlling, he was a drunk, and he had another daughter that he almost kill 3 or 4 times when I knew him because he was playing controlling games with her mother and would throw the little girl surrounded by a car while drunk and get in speeding hot-headed fights between him and the mother.
Yeah, my daughter is better off without her biological father.
Why do some citizens think it's better to be adopted? I've got several adoptee friends who be abused by their adopted parents, so I think one thing have nothing to do with the other.
Maturity is understanding that culture have different points of view.
My parents be abusive. I would have been better stale if they had quit abusing me, not if they had given up and forsaken me to strangers.
In any case, they didn't do either, and I lived with them until I run away at 16. Please don't use stories of people you can't relate with to prove a point you don't understand.
Because some people generalise far too much. There simply is no one answer to be precise right for every situation and there never will be - but it's human nature to assume that the best situation for you is also going to be the best for everyone else too.
some people only just shouldn't have children at all - adoptive or natural.
however, within today's society, I think people are afraid to give up their kids because of the sentiment "that's your flesh and blood, how could you?" and they are contained by fact, in some situations, pressured to keep their children even though they're too childish or emotionally/financially unstable to do so.
Old and worn out cross-question, no one thinks that. Why do assume that people do? Either your sister is repeating the worst stories and making it nouns like they are the ONLY stories, or it's all you're listening to.
Lets lunge into the present for a second. Should a baby be taken away by a social worker because the mother speaks an indiginous language and the child was born within the U.S.? It was declared neglect that the woman didn't speak English. http://www.nnirr.org/action/index.php?op…
Oh, wait, that wasn't your sister be it? The social worker who decided that a white couple would be better parents? How does that work anyway, the child can't relate to their language either (scratch head)
ETA: I purely wanted to add that after reading about the stewardess, it get me thinking about my step fathers situation. his wife died leaving him beside two very small children. He tried everything, family, friends of family, daytime care, it was all too much for him because he owned a business and be needed there also. He put his kids in a home for a few years, they were ably cared for but still in a home. should he have "simply signed the papers"? He ended up marrying my mom and brought his kids home to be raised by him. He have a lot of years with his kids before endorsement away. Just curious.
SHUT UP STUPID HIPPY IM TRAMATISED 4 LYFE BCUZ I WAS ADOPTED R U CALLIN ME A LIAR HO
Some adoptive parents rape, put to death, sexually abuse their adopted child. Their was one that her adopt father raped her molested her and made her perform marriage vows with him. She be 11 when she was taken away from him and has many scar and nude photos of her on the internet to prove it.
Their are those sick people that think it is okay to abuse a child any because they were abused as a child or have some major mental issues.
I am simply started learning why my dad molested me. It has to do when he was 17. Not my place to share you what happened to him. I promised my mother I wouldn't. I am just starting to understand why I be mentally and verbally abused by my mother. She was dealing with depression from the annihilation of her mother and learning she had hepatitis C. Why I might understand and can forgive I will NEVER forget what be done to me.
I might hang onto unhealthy relationships because that's all I know. I hold a therapist and counselor that are helping me deal with my own issues. And if I spot them on vein I can repeat what I have learned from them.
Nobody every said staying with the fluent parent is always better. But if all a person wants is a little help whether it be money for food clothing or shelter, counseling, medication, rehab, angry management, that would see them to keep and raise their kids without swearing they should be given resources and not taken advantage of.
Some people with addiction get that way because of the abuse they suffered. I am not for spreading the abuse but I am for helping those that obligation it. Maybe if they received the proper counseling, medication, parenting classes while they were with their child they could overcome their problems and become better people and put on a pedestal their children.
While if a person simply can't and won't parent they should let an adoption take place any by abled family members or friends of the family. Children and adults own the right to know where they come from.
Not all people adopt for the right reason. If we could actually predict who would or would not abuse children then no child would ever be abused. Can you transmit who is a good mother or father and who isn't?
I provide for my kids the best of my ability. Does it make me an unfit parent because I don't enjoy a pond in my front yard, an in ground swimming pool contained by my back and stables and horses in my back courtyard like my sister in law does? Does it gross me an unfit parent that my toddlers don't have a lab top like their 6 year old cousin?
How do you set down abuse? Is living in an apartment abuse is living surrounded by a 2 bedroom house abuse? Is renting abuse?
Yes there are existing people abusing real children. My husband say the pictures of my kids in the bathtub are child pornography. Does it make it true? No it doesn't. I know I enjoy enough food to last at least 3 months within my house. Are bills are always paid, my kids have mountains of toys. Do I love my kids yes would I do anything for them yes.
I assume it is in the best interest of the child to be with it's mother if the mother is unfit and refuses to clutch action to keep and raise her child that yes adoption might be the best opportunity if the father is unwilling or unable to care for the child.
I don't think anyone would suggest that being with biological own flesh and blood is ALWAYS better. Children should NOT be left in abusive or careless homes, and their safety and well-being sometimes makes it necessary for them to be removed.
On the other mitt, though, the biological family should not be ASSUMED to be abusive or neglectful until they've in actuality been proven unfit through their actions. Innocent until proven guilty.
Families should be kept together when possible, not ripped apart to make another relatives. In some cases (like your examples,) that is NOT possible. Children need safe and loving homes. Most biological family can provide that, though-- those who can't are the exception, not the rule. Adoption should be for the exceptions, not pushed on mothers for being too young, too poor, too unsupported, too whatever.
Natural parents aren't other better, but they deserve a fair chance without prejudice against them.
I own never heard anyone here speak in such absolutes except you. Never, and Always are vocabulary that are seldom used here, because there are very few absolutes surrounded by life, or in adoption.
I am sure that you think your sister is massively knowledgeable because she is a social worker, and she has some stories. I can tell you that I am a mother who lost her child to forced surrender and I can clash your sister horror story for horror story of atrocities committed daily by the Forever Families that take these children. That is not a productive thing to do and accomplish nothing.
Statistically, children do better when raised in their innate families, with kin than they do being raise by strangers. Children are less likely to be molested by their own families, because here are the cultural taboos in place that have be in place for millenia against it. They are less likely to be contained by therapy, in group homes, in treatment services and other areas of dysfunction, for whatever reason.
My sister is a Social Worker too, in private practice, and she specialized surrounded by working with kids for over 30 years, and the kids that are the toughest cases that she deals with are the ones that are adopt.
Most children are better off near their natural parents. You are completely generalizing natural parents, basically because a scared pregnant woman at one point considers adoption but changes her mind after her baby is born does not anticipate she will abuse her baby, in most cases she will love and nurture her child. Besides, adoptive parents are purely as likely to abuse a child. Adoption is a double edged sword, you cannot guarantee that someone will treat a child right newly because they paid for them.
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it's not always better.
It's just what nature intended.
Of course, base on human decisions and choice, nature's plan can go wrong. As per your example - abuse.
That doesn't automatically stingy it WILL go wrong if adoption doesn't occur.
Being unadopted doesn't guarantee abuse. Human choice does.
I don't think adoption is "the worst" (I'm all for adoption actually), but I also don't think that you can consider an entire class of people based off these examples. If a individual is a horrible human being and a negligent 'parent', then that's merely who they are. Whether they are natural or adoptive is completely irrelevant really. Complete strangers who don't have children at all are also sickos who knock about and torment children. Its all about the person, not their parental status.
EXACTLY! If those children had be adopted perhaps they'd be alive today and their parents wouldn't be in incarcerate. People have these overly idealistic ideas just about so-called "nuclear:" (biological) families and think they are the only approach, but not all families are functional. People need to stop stigmatizing adoption.
Your examples are extreme. I don't doubt they are true, however.
I hold never heard any reasonable person vote that all children should always be raised by pure parents. Some children will need to be raised by other people.
The requirements of children must be the determining factor. Do they really need a different home, or not.
The problem has been that we enjoy an adoption industry which is meeting the needs of adults who want to acquire children.The adoption industry is booming...and largely unregulated, and world-wide.
Answers: I couldn't agree more with you, I always remind people that they can hold precautions or, in case it's too late for any other recipe, they still can choose adoption, but that would penny-pinching admitting to one selves their incompetence.
On the other hand, I've seen adopt children that eventually find their biological parents and are taken advantaged or psychologically abused. Not to mention this could happen within the clan anyway (biological or adopted). This is why formal institutions on adoption try to choose adopting parents that are more or less psychologically balanced and givers (not rich, but to be sure emotionally speaking).
Authorities always try to persuade and help biological mothers NOT to move their children. I live in Greece and the number of children in Care Centers waiting to be adopted is extremely larger than the parents applying for adoption. There are also children near health problems that are usually unwanted by adopting parents, due to extra care and financial burden. The waiting roll is also large and the procedure is very time-consuming.
This leads to a substantial number of illegal adoption, where it is highly possible that children assemble hard circumstances with no official guarantee whatsoever, concerning their future or their personal right to know about their roots.
Another thing is that relatives consider adoption as a big taboo, because of the way they are tough about creating a family. Tough situations within your everyday life are:
- Where are you from?
- You really don't look alike your parents!
- If my biological child were alive, it would be more loving, caring and grateful than you are (these are words of my adopt mother)
Listen to this:
A stewardess that left her child in the Care Center, without signing up for adoption. She would come on weekends to see her daughter but every Monday she would pinch her back. Eventually after FIVE years, the child had become so stressed that she used to hide and rebuff to see her mother. Why on earth couldn't this woman sign the damn paper and waited for 5 long years for her child to live surrounded by there with no family at adjectives? It's SO selfish it makes me want to cry.
A police officer who left his babe-in-arms (that was hermaphrodite) until the surgery, so that his family wouldn't see it.
Another man who was never adopt and lived in the Center until 18, he finally found his biological mother who now was pushing him to whip of her, give her money etc, as she was really old.
So you see human relationships are NOT blood neither freshly a sign on the wall. It needs love and really know yourself before you can decide for another human mortal.
These thing happen smaller quantity with adopted parents because they are monitored more. Most children find it very concrete to move in with a stranger and become their child. These cases are very infrequent and serious consequences follow. The only reason that people influence that is because children find it hard to call someone else "mummy and daddy"
hope this answers your ask
Urban Gandhi Source(s): Urban Gandhi knows all!
The adoptive parent could be just as impossible, if not worse than the biological parents. But in a case where on earth the bio parents aren't bad and the child is taken away from them it can cause psychological damage (of course treat roughly is damage too)
I dunno...why do some people think its better to be adopted?
I hold some mighty nasty scars on my body, left by the buckles of my a Dad's belts. Those are the ones you can see..
No one here have EVER said a child is better off in an abusive home. I dare you to find a post that say that. Ill be waiting.. Source(s): generalize much?
No one here supports a parent abusing a child.
You are assuming that children would be abused have they not been lost to adoption. That's wrong and offensive to many.
They're probably like people that think the halocaust wasn't real. In an great world, it would be nice if all parents took responcibility and raised their children in the best passageway possible. But, the worlds not like that. Thank god for adopitve parents. They really are amazing people.
My husband adopted my daughter and it be the best thing for her. Her biological father took off the day I found out I be pregnant and it was the best thing for her. He was slighting, emotionally and physically, he was controlling, he was a drunk, and he had another daughter that he almost kill 3 or 4 times when I knew him because he was playing controlling games with her mother and would throw the little girl surrounded by a car while drunk and get in speeding hot-headed fights between him and the mother.
Yeah, my daughter is better off without her biological father.
Why do some citizens think it's better to be adopted? I've got several adoptee friends who be abused by their adopted parents, so I think one thing have nothing to do with the other.
Maturity is understanding that culture have different points of view.
My parents be abusive. I would have been better stale if they had quit abusing me, not if they had given up and forsaken me to strangers.
In any case, they didn't do either, and I lived with them until I run away at 16. Please don't use stories of people you can't relate with to prove a point you don't understand.
Because some people generalise far too much. There simply is no one answer to be precise right for every situation and there never will be - but it's human nature to assume that the best situation for you is also going to be the best for everyone else too.
some people only just shouldn't have children at all - adoptive or natural.
however, within today's society, I think people are afraid to give up their kids because of the sentiment "that's your flesh and blood, how could you?" and they are contained by fact, in some situations, pressured to keep their children even though they're too childish or emotionally/financially unstable to do so.
Old and worn out cross-question, no one thinks that. Why do assume that people do? Either your sister is repeating the worst stories and making it nouns like they are the ONLY stories, or it's all you're listening to.
Lets lunge into the present for a second. Should a baby be taken away by a social worker because the mother speaks an indiginous language and the child was born within the U.S.? It was declared neglect that the woman didn't speak English. http://www.nnirr.org/action/index.php?op…
Oh, wait, that wasn't your sister be it? The social worker who decided that a white couple would be better parents? How does that work anyway, the child can't relate to their language either (scratch head)
ETA: I purely wanted to add that after reading about the stewardess, it get me thinking about my step fathers situation. his wife died leaving him beside two very small children. He tried everything, family, friends of family, daytime care, it was all too much for him because he owned a business and be needed there also. He put his kids in a home for a few years, they were ably cared for but still in a home. should he have "simply signed the papers"? He ended up marrying my mom and brought his kids home to be raised by him. He have a lot of years with his kids before endorsement away. Just curious.
SHUT UP STUPID HIPPY IM TRAMATISED 4 LYFE BCUZ I WAS ADOPTED R U CALLIN ME A LIAR HO
Some adoptive parents rape, put to death, sexually abuse their adopted child. Their was one that her adopt father raped her molested her and made her perform marriage vows with him. She be 11 when she was taken away from him and has many scar and nude photos of her on the internet to prove it.
Their are those sick people that think it is okay to abuse a child any because they were abused as a child or have some major mental issues.
I am simply started learning why my dad molested me. It has to do when he was 17. Not my place to share you what happened to him. I promised my mother I wouldn't. I am just starting to understand why I be mentally and verbally abused by my mother. She was dealing with depression from the annihilation of her mother and learning she had hepatitis C. Why I might understand and can forgive I will NEVER forget what be done to me.
I might hang onto unhealthy relationships because that's all I know. I hold a therapist and counselor that are helping me deal with my own issues. And if I spot them on vein I can repeat what I have learned from them.
Nobody every said staying with the fluent parent is always better. But if all a person wants is a little help whether it be money for food clothing or shelter, counseling, medication, rehab, angry management, that would see them to keep and raise their kids without swearing they should be given resources and not taken advantage of.
Some people with addiction get that way because of the abuse they suffered. I am not for spreading the abuse but I am for helping those that obligation it. Maybe if they received the proper counseling, medication, parenting classes while they were with their child they could overcome their problems and become better people and put on a pedestal their children.
While if a person simply can't and won't parent they should let an adoption take place any by abled family members or friends of the family. Children and adults own the right to know where they come from.
Not all people adopt for the right reason. If we could actually predict who would or would not abuse children then no child would ever be abused. Can you transmit who is a good mother or father and who isn't?
I provide for my kids the best of my ability. Does it make me an unfit parent because I don't enjoy a pond in my front yard, an in ground swimming pool contained by my back and stables and horses in my back courtyard like my sister in law does? Does it gross me an unfit parent that my toddlers don't have a lab top like their 6 year old cousin?
How do you set down abuse? Is living in an apartment abuse is living surrounded by a 2 bedroom house abuse? Is renting abuse?
Yes there are existing people abusing real children. My husband say the pictures of my kids in the bathtub are child pornography. Does it make it true? No it doesn't. I know I enjoy enough food to last at least 3 months within my house. Are bills are always paid, my kids have mountains of toys. Do I love my kids yes would I do anything for them yes.
I assume it is in the best interest of the child to be with it's mother if the mother is unfit and refuses to clutch action to keep and raise her child that yes adoption might be the best opportunity if the father is unwilling or unable to care for the child.
I don't think anyone would suggest that being with biological own flesh and blood is ALWAYS better. Children should NOT be left in abusive or careless homes, and their safety and well-being sometimes makes it necessary for them to be removed.
On the other mitt, though, the biological family should not be ASSUMED to be abusive or neglectful until they've in actuality been proven unfit through their actions. Innocent until proven guilty.
Families should be kept together when possible, not ripped apart to make another relatives. In some cases (like your examples,) that is NOT possible. Children need safe and loving homes. Most biological family can provide that, though-- those who can't are the exception, not the rule. Adoption should be for the exceptions, not pushed on mothers for being too young, too poor, too unsupported, too whatever.
Natural parents aren't other better, but they deserve a fair chance without prejudice against them.
I own never heard anyone here speak in such absolutes except you. Never, and Always are vocabulary that are seldom used here, because there are very few absolutes surrounded by life, or in adoption.
I am sure that you think your sister is massively knowledgeable because she is a social worker, and she has some stories. I can tell you that I am a mother who lost her child to forced surrender and I can clash your sister horror story for horror story of atrocities committed daily by the Forever Families that take these children. That is not a productive thing to do and accomplish nothing.
Statistically, children do better when raised in their innate families, with kin than they do being raise by strangers. Children are less likely to be molested by their own families, because here are the cultural taboos in place that have be in place for millenia against it. They are less likely to be contained by therapy, in group homes, in treatment services and other areas of dysfunction, for whatever reason.
My sister is a Social Worker too, in private practice, and she specialized surrounded by working with kids for over 30 years, and the kids that are the toughest cases that she deals with are the ones that are adopt.
Most children are better off near their natural parents. You are completely generalizing natural parents, basically because a scared pregnant woman at one point considers adoption but changes her mind after her baby is born does not anticipate she will abuse her baby, in most cases she will love and nurture her child. Besides, adoptive parents are purely as likely to abuse a child. Adoption is a double edged sword, you cannot guarantee that someone will treat a child right newly because they paid for them.
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