Adoptees who don't want to survey?
For those who don't want to search, if you had children who did want to search soon, is that something you would be supportive of even though you yourself have no desire? Would it change your mind at all at wanting to touch your first relatives?
For everyone, do you think reunion would have a very different get the impression if it was the grandchild reuniting with the first grandparents? How much control if any should the adoptee have on whether or not their children scrabble?
My father does not want me to search for his biological parents/family. It bothers me to not know who they are.
As for my son, I've already told him that when he is elder we'll try and find his biological parents if he wants to. IF he wants to. I think I will be intensely curious, as I am already.
If I ever have natural children who want to scrabble for my (their) genetic family I would have no problem with it. I would support them and I would pass them anything that I had that might help them out. If I ever adopted any children again I would be supportive if they needed to search for their natural family and would aid them by giving them anything I know about their natural family.
As far as grandchild reuniting next to natural grandparents or any other relative (i.e. Aunt/Uncle etc) I don’t know if it would have a different feel though contained by some cases some adoptees might find it easier unless their grandparent convinced/pressured their natural mother / father to place them for adoption. I think another thing is that it can be rock-hard for an adoptee to get information so its probably even harder for another family member to turn upside down and get that information. I know one lady posted that her ex-husband had no desire to query but when their son was a teenager he did and he had to procure his father to sign some papers so that they would release some information to him about his natural grandparents.
Answers: I have no desire to search but your question brings up two possible answers, depending upon the circumstances. If my daughters considered necessary to search for THEIR birth parents then, where possible, I would be supportive. My oldest be adopted from India and for all practical purposes there is no track she could search but if she wanted to try, I'd be supportive and assist in any agency I could. My oldest was adopted through domestic foster care and as such we do hold quite a bit of info on her birth parents and when the time came we would certainly assist her as okay.
If any of my daughters, adopted or not, wanted to look for my birth family I'd first find out what their motivations are/were but I'd still assist them if they needed. My personal feelings though are that I know who my parents are and where I come from. My life have been shaped both by who I am and who raised me, not so much by where I may own come from and their circumstances. What I have and who I am is directly attributed to the love and hard work done by my parents to help me achieve my potential as a person and a father.
I think it would own a different feel. I mean, there's much less guilt involved, on everyone's slice. My reunion is much different with my n sibs than my n mom. Not much baggage, lol.
Its almost impossible for me to answer this question, as never inquiring was NOT an option for me. That being said, my n relatives is just as much my children's n family, so I feel I do not enjoy the right to prevent them from knowing their heritage, even if I would have never searched.
If I had not search, and they wanted to, I guess I would just tell them perfect luck, and that their relationship with their/my n family was THEIR relationship, and I have no saying in the matter, freshly as I do not in ANY of their relationships.
But- my kids have met my n family, and it really help fill in the blanks for them, too. Adoption affects our children, too. They also have a better sense of self after talk my n family. I highly recommend it to every adoptee.
*sigh* i know i'm going to be crucified for this but as an adoptee who never wanted to poke about I feel .
that my kids probably would've grown up with my thoughts on the matter if it come up. my daughter and i never really discussed my adoption until the potential for reunion came up so i doubt it would've been anything she would've wanted to do. (that crystal orb would come in handy right now, wouldn't it?).
If, however, my child wanted to check out and it was against my wishes then IMHO I would NOT assist in the query. it's my feelings my business yada yada yada
having said all that, when some issues come up with baby girl's health, my bparents weren't of much relieve because the issue my baby girl has NEVER came up within their famillies. I still believe genetic testing is still an alternative (and yes, genetic testing was completed on my granddaughter as well). Source(s): my go as an adoptee who never wanted to search or be found.
I would be totally supportive if my child wanted to find her birth parents. We're hoping for a semi open adoption, so she'll always know where on earth she came from.
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For everyone, do you think reunion would have a very different get the impression if it was the grandchild reuniting with the first grandparents? How much control if any should the adoptee have on whether or not their children scrabble?
My father does not want me to search for his biological parents/family. It bothers me to not know who they are.
As for my son, I've already told him that when he is elder we'll try and find his biological parents if he wants to. IF he wants to. I think I will be intensely curious, as I am already.
If I ever have natural children who want to scrabble for my (their) genetic family I would have no problem with it. I would support them and I would pass them anything that I had that might help them out. If I ever adopted any children again I would be supportive if they needed to search for their natural family and would aid them by giving them anything I know about their natural family.
As far as grandchild reuniting next to natural grandparents or any other relative (i.e. Aunt/Uncle etc) I don’t know if it would have a different feel though contained by some cases some adoptees might find it easier unless their grandparent convinced/pressured their natural mother / father to place them for adoption. I think another thing is that it can be rock-hard for an adoptee to get information so its probably even harder for another family member to turn upside down and get that information. I know one lady posted that her ex-husband had no desire to query but when their son was a teenager he did and he had to procure his father to sign some papers so that they would release some information to him about his natural grandparents.
Answers: I have no desire to search but your question brings up two possible answers, depending upon the circumstances. If my daughters considered necessary to search for THEIR birth parents then, where possible, I would be supportive. My oldest be adopted from India and for all practical purposes there is no track she could search but if she wanted to try, I'd be supportive and assist in any agency I could. My oldest was adopted through domestic foster care and as such we do hold quite a bit of info on her birth parents and when the time came we would certainly assist her as okay.
If any of my daughters, adopted or not, wanted to look for my birth family I'd first find out what their motivations are/were but I'd still assist them if they needed. My personal feelings though are that I know who my parents are and where I come from. My life have been shaped both by who I am and who raised me, not so much by where I may own come from and their circumstances. What I have and who I am is directly attributed to the love and hard work done by my parents to help me achieve my potential as a person and a father.
I think it would own a different feel. I mean, there's much less guilt involved, on everyone's slice. My reunion is much different with my n sibs than my n mom. Not much baggage, lol.
Its almost impossible for me to answer this question, as never inquiring was NOT an option for me. That being said, my n relatives is just as much my children's n family, so I feel I do not enjoy the right to prevent them from knowing their heritage, even if I would have never searched.
If I had not search, and they wanted to, I guess I would just tell them perfect luck, and that their relationship with their/my n family was THEIR relationship, and I have no saying in the matter, freshly as I do not in ANY of their relationships.
But- my kids have met my n family, and it really help fill in the blanks for them, too. Adoption affects our children, too. They also have a better sense of self after talk my n family. I highly recommend it to every adoptee.
*sigh* i know i'm going to be crucified for this but as an adoptee who never wanted to poke about I feel .
that my kids probably would've grown up with my thoughts on the matter if it come up. my daughter and i never really discussed my adoption until the potential for reunion came up so i doubt it would've been anything she would've wanted to do. (that crystal orb would come in handy right now, wouldn't it?).
If, however, my child wanted to check out and it was against my wishes then IMHO I would NOT assist in the query. it's my feelings my business yada yada yada
having said all that, when some issues come up with baby girl's health, my bparents weren't of much relieve because the issue my baby girl has NEVER came up within their famillies. I still believe genetic testing is still an alternative (and yes, genetic testing was completed on my granddaughter as well). Source(s): my go as an adoptee who never wanted to search or be found.
I would be totally supportive if my child wanted to find her birth parents. We're hoping for a semi open adoption, so she'll always know where on earth she came from.
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