Why The Baby Obsession?
Hi, I am just curious why so many people are haunted with babies and adopting babies. If people out in that really want to parent than what’s wrong with adopting an older child? Are relations so obsessed because babies are cute or do they think that adopting a child will feel more natural? I am really curious to hear from adoptive parents who have adopt babies.
I was going to answer your question...especially because it was directed to ADOPTIVE PARENTS! But since adoptess and birthmothers enjoy decided to chime in and speak as though they have the fluency of being an adoptive parent, you may as well listen to them, because they are always right you know!.
I regularly wonder with the wisdom they proclaim and the knowledge they distinctly have, how they ended up being coreced right out of their own children?
As a babyish child I always wanted to adopt. I wanted to "save" adjectives the orphans and homeless children in the world. I wanted to give them adjectives the love and attention they would need. I didn't care if it was a child, toddler, or child. (I was 5 when I thought this way)
Now that I am older and realize that adoption is not all "good" but most able-bodied infants and toddlers are coerced, kidnapped, mothers killed, or black mailed into relinquishing a infant or toddler so that Americans can adopt It doesn't give the impression of being like the loving caring option and I can not guarantee that children surrounded by other countries really are orphans.
I am hoping in the future that I can have a building built beside the sole reason of helping people to keep their family in tack. I want the bottom floor to be check in, check in requires you to pilfer a drug test. If you fail the drug test you will remain on the first floor and we will see if you want to be rehabbed or if you be just looking for hand outs.
On the first floor their would also be the cafeteria where everybody eat. And their will also be a small clinic on the first floor where doctors can volunteer at.
On the second floor there will be a job training and parenting classes and the mandatory budgeting class. People come across real confused what a need is and what a want is. There would be classes for childcare/parenting, nursing assistant, accounting, and other courses like medical coding and billing and classes to oblige you get your GED. To many people do not enjoy any skills.
On the third floor and up people will have rooms, but the rooms will not have tvs but at hand will be tvs in the common areas. The rooms will be set up like hotels and enjoy bathrooms. For larger families they would most likely get a suite so parents and kids are separated.
The building will hold solar paneled roofing and there would also be a fruit/vegetable garden. People with mental problems or history of drug problems would have a separate wing they would stay within as to protect children.
I am hoping that withing the next 10 years I can get this done. I would really love to help anybody that wants help. Source(s): Aquarius
Answers: I know exactly what the obsession is. Newborn babies are precious, amazing people. Each childbirth I've been witness to have changed my life dramatically. There is nothing in the world close to newborn baby's skin, or the look of wonder in their eyes when they recognize their mother's voice outside the womb for the first time, or when they turn their heads to the nouns of their sister's voice.
The thing is, when a baby is born, they respond to what they know - their own family. I know, I've see it. My nephew, not even an hour old, turned his head when his sister walked within the door and spoke. When I held him so that his mother could get cleaned up, he cried and cried until she came back and held him. He KNEW I wasn't his mother.
You freshly can't create that same dynamic with someone else's child. There is an instinctual, primal bonding that happens between family member during pregnancy and after birth. It doesn't work with anyone else on Earth, not even Auntie's who have been best friends beside Mom for 22 years, and CERTAINLY not with a complete stranger. However, as ocean has said, the adoption industry tries to provide people on the idea that you can create a family out of complete strangers.
If you've never see this bonding process, it's easy to believe that you can create it yourself. But once you've seen it - especially after you have some understanding about what it can be like growing up with genetic strangers - you hold to admit that it is only possible with instant family. Granted, there is an attachment process between adoptees and adoptive families - they grow to love respectively other, and it can be an immensely strong attachment. But that primal bond between a mother/father/sister/brother during pregnancy and after birth is irreplaceable, and impossible to recreate under other circumstances.
ETA: AdoreHim, are you honestly suggesting that PAP's should have to go through LESS a stringent process within order to adopt the kids with the highest desires? How does that make sense? If people are going to be good parents to a child beside high needs, they need MORE training and preparation, NOT LESS! I'm sorry, but kids who own been through so much already deserve the BEST possible families, not the bottom of the barrel ones who slipped through the cracks because not a soul wants to bother putting them through a stringent process.
ETA: Kristy (aka: Brew- whatever- you're- calling- yourself -today), you did NOT adopt from foster care. Do you honestly believe that people here are THAT stupid?
Kristy...LMAO! You crack me up. Thanks for the free entertainment.
Our first child was 8 months old (China) and our second child was 2 (foster care), so I hold never experienced raising a newborn and I have never had the desire that several people have to parent a child from day 1 of their lives. I do take it however. Babies are adorable and innocent and many people feel approaching it is a very magical time that they wish to experience. There are also practical concerns as well. My daughter suffered from person in an underfunded Chinese orphanage. She was neglected and malnourished. It breaks my heart that she have to spend 1 hour never mind 8 months in that state. The earlier children can attach to their parents the better for them and their development.
Definitely it is the "feel more natural" part. It is flowing to imagine bonding with a newborn or baby. However, an elder child has a lot more personality to accord with. Just imagine your friend's children. Some you might be ready to parent within an instant, and others might require a bit of coaxing for you to take them in, and there may even be some you don't deliberate you could really deal with. If you're an adoptive parent you can't really pick and choose an older child base on their personality and how you click. It wouldn't be fair to the kids to make them interview and enjoy a trial period. There is sort of a trial period before the adoption is final, but you should know how to go into it fully expecting that you will adopt that child - not just "well... let's see". This is not flowing for most people to embrace. But in order to own a successful adoption of an older child, I think you really have to know how to say with complete honesty that you will be that child's parent no matter what.
Of course next to an infant, adopted or bio, you can have a lot of problems getting along. However it usually happen far down the road at the point where there is no question if you will verbs to be the child's parent.
A lot of the people who adopt can't have babies on their own. So they try for that replacement baby.
I'm not judge anyone, but it's true. Anyone who says that is not true in greatly of situations is bogus and full of shizz.
Usually to replace the 'baby that never was'
Adoption is market as a cure for infertility. Unfortunately, some adoptive couples "buy" into this.
Because the simply adoption I would go for would be an open adoption. I refuse to make higher a child with false hope of who I am and who they are. I want them to know who their birth mother is, I want them to know she loved them enough to give them a worthy home she couldn't at the time.
I couldn't raise a child and have them think I'm their one and just mom.
I don't have kids yet, but I believe it's much easier to create a bond with a newborn or an infant rather than an older child. Also, believe not being a parent one day, and the next human being given a 13 year old. It's hard work to be a parent as is... and then to hold an older child without any experience with kids or how that child be when they were younger, it's harder.
I actually would love to adopt. Babies, yeah, but also a family of kids (any age really)... family are much harder to get adopted out, and they need a loving kith and kin as much as any other kid does. =)
There is this myth that babies are clean slates whereas older children come with cases. The reality is babies grow up with their own issues such as daring to want to medical info and self curious about their natural family.
I be not obsessed. I just wanted to be a parent. A kid was referred to me who was in foster attention to detail and I said yes.
I assume you are referring to my answer. My son was in foster care for 8 months it doesn't concern what country. He has a foster family that we reamained in contact near. Hence why I say all the time, my son's had three mothers... his biological mother, his foster mother, and his adoptive mother. Ohhhh. must you preserve harrassing me? Or are you minimizing the importance of foster mothers in children's lives because you can't get select to be one?
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I was going to answer your question...especially because it was directed to ADOPTIVE PARENTS! But since adoptess and birthmothers enjoy decided to chime in and speak as though they have the fluency of being an adoptive parent, you may as well listen to them, because they are always right you know!.
I regularly wonder with the wisdom they proclaim and the knowledge they distinctly have, how they ended up being coreced right out of their own children?
As a babyish child I always wanted to adopt. I wanted to "save" adjectives the orphans and homeless children in the world. I wanted to give them adjectives the love and attention they would need. I didn't care if it was a child, toddler, or child. (I was 5 when I thought this way)
Now that I am older and realize that adoption is not all "good" but most able-bodied infants and toddlers are coerced, kidnapped, mothers killed, or black mailed into relinquishing a infant or toddler so that Americans can adopt It doesn't give the impression of being like the loving caring option and I can not guarantee that children surrounded by other countries really are orphans.
I am hoping in the future that I can have a building built beside the sole reason of helping people to keep their family in tack. I want the bottom floor to be check in, check in requires you to pilfer a drug test. If you fail the drug test you will remain on the first floor and we will see if you want to be rehabbed or if you be just looking for hand outs.
On the first floor their would also be the cafeteria where everybody eat. And their will also be a small clinic on the first floor where doctors can volunteer at.
On the second floor there will be a job training and parenting classes and the mandatory budgeting class. People come across real confused what a need is and what a want is. There would be classes for childcare/parenting, nursing assistant, accounting, and other courses like medical coding and billing and classes to oblige you get your GED. To many people do not enjoy any skills.
On the third floor and up people will have rooms, but the rooms will not have tvs but at hand will be tvs in the common areas. The rooms will be set up like hotels and enjoy bathrooms. For larger families they would most likely get a suite so parents and kids are separated.
The building will hold solar paneled roofing and there would also be a fruit/vegetable garden. People with mental problems or history of drug problems would have a separate wing they would stay within as to protect children.
I am hoping that withing the next 10 years I can get this done. I would really love to help anybody that wants help. Source(s): Aquarius
Answers: I know exactly what the obsession is. Newborn babies are precious, amazing people. Each childbirth I've been witness to have changed my life dramatically. There is nothing in the world close to newborn baby's skin, or the look of wonder in their eyes when they recognize their mother's voice outside the womb for the first time, or when they turn their heads to the nouns of their sister's voice.
The thing is, when a baby is born, they respond to what they know - their own family. I know, I've see it. My nephew, not even an hour old, turned his head when his sister walked within the door and spoke. When I held him so that his mother could get cleaned up, he cried and cried until she came back and held him. He KNEW I wasn't his mother.
You freshly can't create that same dynamic with someone else's child. There is an instinctual, primal bonding that happens between family member during pregnancy and after birth. It doesn't work with anyone else on Earth, not even Auntie's who have been best friends beside Mom for 22 years, and CERTAINLY not with a complete stranger. However, as ocean has said, the adoption industry tries to provide people on the idea that you can create a family out of complete strangers.
If you've never see this bonding process, it's easy to believe that you can create it yourself. But once you've seen it - especially after you have some understanding about what it can be like growing up with genetic strangers - you hold to admit that it is only possible with instant family. Granted, there is an attachment process between adoptees and adoptive families - they grow to love respectively other, and it can be an immensely strong attachment. But that primal bond between a mother/father/sister/brother during pregnancy and after birth is irreplaceable, and impossible to recreate under other circumstances.
ETA: AdoreHim, are you honestly suggesting that PAP's should have to go through LESS a stringent process within order to adopt the kids with the highest desires? How does that make sense? If people are going to be good parents to a child beside high needs, they need MORE training and preparation, NOT LESS! I'm sorry, but kids who own been through so much already deserve the BEST possible families, not the bottom of the barrel ones who slipped through the cracks because not a soul wants to bother putting them through a stringent process.
ETA: Kristy (aka: Brew- whatever- you're- calling- yourself -today), you did NOT adopt from foster care. Do you honestly believe that people here are THAT stupid?
Kristy...LMAO! You crack me up. Thanks for the free entertainment.
Our first child was 8 months old (China) and our second child was 2 (foster care), so I hold never experienced raising a newborn and I have never had the desire that several people have to parent a child from day 1 of their lives. I do take it however. Babies are adorable and innocent and many people feel approaching it is a very magical time that they wish to experience. There are also practical concerns as well. My daughter suffered from person in an underfunded Chinese orphanage. She was neglected and malnourished. It breaks my heart that she have to spend 1 hour never mind 8 months in that state. The earlier children can attach to their parents the better for them and their development.
Definitely it is the "feel more natural" part. It is flowing to imagine bonding with a newborn or baby. However, an elder child has a lot more personality to accord with. Just imagine your friend's children. Some you might be ready to parent within an instant, and others might require a bit of coaxing for you to take them in, and there may even be some you don't deliberate you could really deal with. If you're an adoptive parent you can't really pick and choose an older child base on their personality and how you click. It wouldn't be fair to the kids to make them interview and enjoy a trial period. There is sort of a trial period before the adoption is final, but you should know how to go into it fully expecting that you will adopt that child - not just "well... let's see". This is not flowing for most people to embrace. But in order to own a successful adoption of an older child, I think you really have to know how to say with complete honesty that you will be that child's parent no matter what.
Of course next to an infant, adopted or bio, you can have a lot of problems getting along. However it usually happen far down the road at the point where there is no question if you will verbs to be the child's parent.
A lot of the people who adopt can't have babies on their own. So they try for that replacement baby.
I'm not judge anyone, but it's true. Anyone who says that is not true in greatly of situations is bogus and full of shizz.
Usually to replace the 'baby that never was'
Adoption is market as a cure for infertility. Unfortunately, some adoptive couples "buy" into this.
Because the simply adoption I would go for would be an open adoption. I refuse to make higher a child with false hope of who I am and who they are. I want them to know who their birth mother is, I want them to know she loved them enough to give them a worthy home she couldn't at the time.
I couldn't raise a child and have them think I'm their one and just mom.
I don't have kids yet, but I believe it's much easier to create a bond with a newborn or an infant rather than an older child. Also, believe not being a parent one day, and the next human being given a 13 year old. It's hard work to be a parent as is... and then to hold an older child without any experience with kids or how that child be when they were younger, it's harder.
I actually would love to adopt. Babies, yeah, but also a family of kids (any age really)... family are much harder to get adopted out, and they need a loving kith and kin as much as any other kid does. =)
There is this myth that babies are clean slates whereas older children come with cases. The reality is babies grow up with their own issues such as daring to want to medical info and self curious about their natural family.
I be not obsessed. I just wanted to be a parent. A kid was referred to me who was in foster attention to detail and I said yes.
I assume you are referring to my answer. My son was in foster care for 8 months it doesn't concern what country. He has a foster family that we reamained in contact near. Hence why I say all the time, my son's had three mothers... his biological mother, his foster mother, and his adoptive mother. Ohhhh. must you preserve harrassing me? Or are you minimizing the importance of foster mothers in children's lives because you can't get select to be one?
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