Question...?
Ok, so I already know how people here feel about mothers who force a teen to put a babe-in-arms up for adoption, but how do you guys feel when the situation is kind of opposite? To better explain I be watching the Tyra Banks show and a teen got pregnant at a party, she didn’t want to get an abortion because she said she doesn’t want to trade name the baby pay for her mistakes. So what she wants to do is impart the baby up for adoption, however her mom doesn’t want her to. So my question is what do you guys think of a mom who forces her child NOT to make a contribution a baby up for adoption and keep it.
The grandmother could adopt the kid and be the babys mother. But she shouldnt force the daughter to be its mother if she doesnt want to be.
IMO, coercion runs both ways. As much as I disagree with someone badgering a mother to relinquish their child, I am equally against people guilting or coercing a mother into raise a child she does not wish to raise. It's not always something like support or intelligence or character or even personality, sometimes it is about desire. Not every woman on the planet desires to be a mother and children will not thrive in an environment of resentment. I think Casey Anthony is a prime exampe of that (though I do believe she is thankfully the minority). I do guess grandparents should offer their support and perhaps even offer to bring guardianship of the baby if that's what the mother wants. But ultimately if the mother has looked at her option carefully and still believes that relinquishment is the right option for her, then I give attention to she should be suppported. Source(s): We all do the best we can
Well she doesn't have to "make" her keep the kid if she doesn't want to. Personally, if her daughter is dead set against raising her child, the grandmother or another family accomplice should take in the child instead so that at least he or she can still be raise by family members and not lose that link to his or her heritage.
I know why I would feel close to that. My parents played a major part in forcing me to surrender so I do know what it is resembling not to raise my child. However if I had a daughter then I would donate to raise her child for her. I wouldn't even suggest adopting the baby as I would want that child to grow up knowing that I am the grandparent. My son (only child and reunited with) know how I feel about adoption but he knows I'm not anti adoption I'm anti forced adoption. On the other hand no parent should be forced to parent a child.
Just as much harm can come from being forced to parent as being forced to surrender. If a mother really doesn't want her child she can resent the child and be injurious to them. BUT she should at least try to parent her child before surrendering, those who have surrendered more repeatedly than not feel as though they have made a huge mistake. They had no process of knowing how much it was going to affect them until it was too late, neither did their family who forced them to surrender.
Extended family should be considered first to keep the child within their own familiarities and kin. At the intensely least, every effort to keep the child surrounded by familiar surroundings should be first and fore most. If that is not possible, later surrender.
I completely disagree with the statement of not making the child suffer for her mistake. Lots of children suffer silently from adoption, abortion can be more merciful, but that's just my opinion.
I regard that if a teenager doesn't want to raise her child she should allow a family associate to have custody of it or permanent guardianship over the baby especially since the grandmother requirements to keep and raise the baby.
"she didn’t want to get an abortion because she said she doesn’t want to make the babe-in-arms pay for her mistakes."
Interesting statement because it screams that she doesn't know about the effects of adoption on her child, for instance:
(http://www.originsnsw.com/mentalhealth/)
There are a couple of things that really bug me in the order of adoption proponents, one of them is that they usually cry, "why should the grandparents have to raise their grandchild?" I'm thinking, "what the heck ever happened to the extended ancestral?" Why wouldn't grandparents want to know their child's child? Why do we make the grandparents assistance look like a burden instead of a blessing?
Frankly, I applaud the grandmother who is "forcing" her daughter to raise her child. She is giving her daughter the fortune to become a responsible individual and with support she may overcome her fears and be a terrific parent. Sometimes this stuff - unplanned pregnancies - can hit you square in the face, you aren't expecting it, you're worried as the pregnant mother, but I would have given anything to have my mother insist that I would not lose my child (her grandchild) rather than sit rear legs and do nothing and watch the family disintegrate minus any further intervention.
If the grandmother "forces" the mother to parent for a few weeks or months with support that is the best thing that can transpire. If the mother cannot parent for whatever reason, then at most minuscule the child and grandparent will have developed a relationship and possibly the grandparents can keep the child within the domestic.
I don't know, I think you're hung up on "teen pregnancies" and teen mothers not being good mothers, and I reckon you're full of sh*t.
I think that is just as fruitless.
Answers: Hi this teen makes a righteous point, when she says she made the mistake and did not want her baby's life to pay for that mistake. So as a dad l would hold to back her on this one, yes there are going to be problems along the way and the first will be mum and so on, but l could see this work out surrounded by the end.---And this teen would never have to look back contained by her life an think to her self ---IF ONLY I---yours--
Ps--have l missed something here in this request for information. Please tell me where grandmother comes in to it, l thought it be the teens mom that said not to
Honestly I reason that first comes the mothers choice then the grandmothers. Like someone said the grandmother is just makiing the mother responsible, but I think that the with the sole purpose reason that the mother in putting up her baby up for adoption is she herself know she isnt yet responsible or ready to take attention of a child, I really dont think its because the fact that she had the child near a guy she doesnt see a future with or anything because I honestly believe every mother a least loves their child a bit even if they deny it, I purely know. And the grandmother just doesnt want to see her grandchild given away. You know what I mean. I know I wouldnt want my daughter to give away her child because that child is relateover the moone and I may never see her again. However I think that if the mother agrees and the grandmother wants the child can be raise by the grandmother and afterwards the mother can learn that she is responsible enough to handle the little one. If the mother doesnt want the child but is other with the grandmother having it then she can own the child until the age of 18 because maybe the mother might not want the child at first and want it a couple years later, I feel its excessive for the grandmother falling in love with the child then giving it fund. I think that the child should eventually know who her real mother is or else its abnormal calling your real mother your sister and maybe even having your sister/ brother calling you aunt.
You attain what Im saying?
I think that if a young woman have the support of one or both of her parents/guardians, then she should keep her baby...if she chooses to convey through with the pregnancy.
Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In a young at heart girl's case, her temporary problems are usually her age (she won't always be a teenager), her famine of education (it IS possible to finish school and have a baby), and her absence of money (parental support would cover this problem). Surrendering a child for adoption has lifelong effects for both the mother AND the child. The child bonds with his/her mother during nine months of pregnancy and the baby requests his/her mother when s/he is born. The baby doesn't care that mom is a teenager/hasn't finished high conservatory yet/broke.
Separating mothers and children is wrong unless the mothers are abusive or neglectful.
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The grandmother could adopt the kid and be the babys mother. But she shouldnt force the daughter to be its mother if she doesnt want to be.
IMO, coercion runs both ways. As much as I disagree with someone badgering a mother to relinquish their child, I am equally against people guilting or coercing a mother into raise a child she does not wish to raise. It's not always something like support or intelligence or character or even personality, sometimes it is about desire. Not every woman on the planet desires to be a mother and children will not thrive in an environment of resentment. I think Casey Anthony is a prime exampe of that (though I do believe she is thankfully the minority). I do guess grandparents should offer their support and perhaps even offer to bring guardianship of the baby if that's what the mother wants. But ultimately if the mother has looked at her option carefully and still believes that relinquishment is the right option for her, then I give attention to she should be suppported. Source(s): We all do the best we can
Well she doesn't have to "make" her keep the kid if she doesn't want to. Personally, if her daughter is dead set against raising her child, the grandmother or another family accomplice should take in the child instead so that at least he or she can still be raise by family members and not lose that link to his or her heritage.
I know why I would feel close to that. My parents played a major part in forcing me to surrender so I do know what it is resembling not to raise my child. However if I had a daughter then I would donate to raise her child for her. I wouldn't even suggest adopting the baby as I would want that child to grow up knowing that I am the grandparent. My son (only child and reunited with) know how I feel about adoption but he knows I'm not anti adoption I'm anti forced adoption. On the other hand no parent should be forced to parent a child.
Just as much harm can come from being forced to parent as being forced to surrender. If a mother really doesn't want her child she can resent the child and be injurious to them. BUT she should at least try to parent her child before surrendering, those who have surrendered more repeatedly than not feel as though they have made a huge mistake. They had no process of knowing how much it was going to affect them until it was too late, neither did their family who forced them to surrender.
Extended family should be considered first to keep the child within their own familiarities and kin. At the intensely least, every effort to keep the child surrounded by familiar surroundings should be first and fore most. If that is not possible, later surrender.
I completely disagree with the statement of not making the child suffer for her mistake. Lots of children suffer silently from adoption, abortion can be more merciful, but that's just my opinion.
I regard that if a teenager doesn't want to raise her child she should allow a family associate to have custody of it or permanent guardianship over the baby especially since the grandmother requirements to keep and raise the baby.
"she didn’t want to get an abortion because she said she doesn’t want to make the babe-in-arms pay for her mistakes."
Interesting statement because it screams that she doesn't know about the effects of adoption on her child, for instance:
(http://www.originsnsw.com/mentalhealth/)
There are a couple of things that really bug me in the order of adoption proponents, one of them is that they usually cry, "why should the grandparents have to raise their grandchild?" I'm thinking, "what the heck ever happened to the extended ancestral?" Why wouldn't grandparents want to know their child's child? Why do we make the grandparents assistance look like a burden instead of a blessing?
Frankly, I applaud the grandmother who is "forcing" her daughter to raise her child. She is giving her daughter the fortune to become a responsible individual and with support she may overcome her fears and be a terrific parent. Sometimes this stuff - unplanned pregnancies - can hit you square in the face, you aren't expecting it, you're worried as the pregnant mother, but I would have given anything to have my mother insist that I would not lose my child (her grandchild) rather than sit rear legs and do nothing and watch the family disintegrate minus any further intervention.
If the grandmother "forces" the mother to parent for a few weeks or months with support that is the best thing that can transpire. If the mother cannot parent for whatever reason, then at most minuscule the child and grandparent will have developed a relationship and possibly the grandparents can keep the child within the domestic.
I don't know, I think you're hung up on "teen pregnancies" and teen mothers not being good mothers, and I reckon you're full of sh*t.
I think that is just as fruitless.
Answers: Hi this teen makes a righteous point, when she says she made the mistake and did not want her baby's life to pay for that mistake. So as a dad l would hold to back her on this one, yes there are going to be problems along the way and the first will be mum and so on, but l could see this work out surrounded by the end.---And this teen would never have to look back contained by her life an think to her self ---IF ONLY I---yours--
Ps--have l missed something here in this request for information. Please tell me where grandmother comes in to it, l thought it be the teens mom that said not to
Honestly I reason that first comes the mothers choice then the grandmothers. Like someone said the grandmother is just makiing the mother responsible, but I think that the with the sole purpose reason that the mother in putting up her baby up for adoption is she herself know she isnt yet responsible or ready to take attention of a child, I really dont think its because the fact that she had the child near a guy she doesnt see a future with or anything because I honestly believe every mother a least loves their child a bit even if they deny it, I purely know. And the grandmother just doesnt want to see her grandchild given away. You know what I mean. I know I wouldnt want my daughter to give away her child because that child is relateover the moone and I may never see her again. However I think that if the mother agrees and the grandmother wants the child can be raise by the grandmother and afterwards the mother can learn that she is responsible enough to handle the little one. If the mother doesnt want the child but is other with the grandmother having it then she can own the child until the age of 18 because maybe the mother might not want the child at first and want it a couple years later, I feel its excessive for the grandmother falling in love with the child then giving it fund. I think that the child should eventually know who her real mother is or else its abnormal calling your real mother your sister and maybe even having your sister/ brother calling you aunt.
You attain what Im saying?
I think that if a young woman have the support of one or both of her parents/guardians, then she should keep her baby...if she chooses to convey through with the pregnancy.
Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In a young at heart girl's case, her temporary problems are usually her age (she won't always be a teenager), her famine of education (it IS possible to finish school and have a baby), and her absence of money (parental support would cover this problem). Surrendering a child for adoption has lifelong effects for both the mother AND the child. The child bonds with his/her mother during nine months of pregnancy and the baby requests his/her mother when s/he is born. The baby doesn't care that mom is a teenager/hasn't finished high conservatory yet/broke.
Separating mothers and children is wrong unless the mothers are abusive or neglectful.
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