Summary of my short story. Criticism?

Maya Murdcoh is embarking on a trip to Dublin, Ireland from her New York home, yet, her past have yet to find closure, including an ex-boyfriend in Paris and an adopted child. On her trek, Maya is on a path to self-discovery and why she can't face herself.
Answers:    I'd change it to this:

Maya Murdcoh is embark on a trip to Dublin, Ireland from her avy New York studio. Her past, which includes an ex-boyfriend in Paris and an adopted child have yet to find emotional closure. Maya is on a path to self-discovery and requests answers for why she can't face herself.

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