Even though bioparents aren't necessarily "perfect"...?
And a few of them truly may not want or even care about their children...
Isn't there some sort of biological human instinct that triggers the drive to care/love for one's own flesh-and-blood?
Like, I know nearby are exceptions to that. But didn't God/Fate create the human body so that we would have the drive to reproduce and so that our hormones would feel the primal instinct to nurture said reproduction?
Yes. My mom had to FIGHT against that instinct. That massive internal struggle was apparent every time she lash me, yelled at me, ridiculed me, "forgot" about me, lied about me, or abused/hurt me contained by any number of other ways.
The only way my mom could stay "sane" (if that label can even be applied to her) be to lie to herself about her own experiences. If she ever admitted that it be wrong to hurt a child, she would have had to admit that the adults contained by her childhood were wrong for hurting her...and she can NOT deal with that. It's too much.
So, she have to keep her truth at bay, and the only instrument she could do that was to perpetuate the trauma that was heap on her as a child. After all...it's ok, right? It's GOOD to hurt children...right? You MUST beat them, or they'll turn out bad...RIGHT?
That be the desperation with which my mother raised me. Every contact I have near her, to this day, screams out that same desperate struggle between nature (i.e. "care/love for one's own flesh-and-blood") and "nurture" (i.e. generational abuse).
I repugnance it when people try to "mash" the human experience into a few generalized sentences.
There's no possible way for 1 senario, 1 story to be true of everyone.
Example:
I was watching a TV show where on earth a mother awaited her first child with joy and so much love. In a weird, post-partum depression sort of mental bad health, she took 1 look at her newborn and was convinced, CONVINCED! the child was a space alien. She called the police. She call the goverment, she told anyone who would listen that the child wasn't human and wasn't her baby. Despite the fact that she'd seen the child on ultrasound. Despite seeing the child come out of her own body! So, within it is, her own flesh and blood. A random "glitch" in her brain completely confused the poor woman, destroying the "flesh and blood bond".
So, how does that play with the personality vs. nurture debate?
Then you have the drug abusers who sell their children for drugs.
Where does that fit into your little story?
You have to expand your mind and heart to all the possibilities people have to give. There is exceptions to every rule.
There is a natural bond to clutch care of your biological children, but sometimes chemical levels are off if you suffer from depression that can get that bond seem weak.
For example with my 5 month outmoded, I love her to pieces, I care about making her happy, and making sure she have enough to eat. But when my depression kicks surrounded by (on medication now) I don't really want to be bothered with anybody. I would feel a strain on mine and her bond.
Now this is a girl that will make everybody who is watching her existence hell while I am at work. She will scream and cry while I am at work and The second she hears the garage open She is smiling and laughing. I be told she lies to me. She wasn't that way a few minutes ago.
My mom and my husband will both hand her to me and tell me she requests me and only me. I feel terrible that it cause her that much anguish to be separated from me. It insults her if you offer her a bottle of breast milk. She doesn't prefer formula either. She like a bottle of dampen though. She will eat baby food and she loves her baby chips. Veggie dips.
But yes a bond is in attendance sometimes not as strong and it needs work but it is there. I think Sara breastfeeds so she can extra one on one time next to me. She has 2 older siblings to compete with (and person the baby she'll win every time until she can talk)
I'm not a doctor or a scientist but nearby has to be something to what you're saying. Why? People always voice that when you see your child, when you hold your baby in your arms, you will love him.
They said that all the time to me when I said I never needed to have kids. Source(s): Surprisingly self actualized adult adoptee
Answers: In general, I reflect on *most* people are equipped with maternal/paternal feelings. I also surmise that drive becomes particularly strong when having a bio child, in that is a reason for the hormone changes during pregnancy. There is also as you say a desire to parent already present within many people. I think it's fair-minded to say that most parents want to raise and do the right thing by their children.
All species are easier said than done wired to raise their young, to varying degrees, otherwise the species would simply die out. Source(s): Foster/adoptive mum.
Related Questions:
For adoptive parents surrounded by regard to Open Records for fully developed adoptees?
Birth parents...?
What does one want to hear when their mother is gravely not at your best?
Isn't there some sort of biological human instinct that triggers the drive to care/love for one's own flesh-and-blood?
Like, I know nearby are exceptions to that. But didn't God/Fate create the human body so that we would have the drive to reproduce and so that our hormones would feel the primal instinct to nurture said reproduction?
Yes. My mom had to FIGHT against that instinct. That massive internal struggle was apparent every time she lash me, yelled at me, ridiculed me, "forgot" about me, lied about me, or abused/hurt me contained by any number of other ways.
The only way my mom could stay "sane" (if that label can even be applied to her) be to lie to herself about her own experiences. If she ever admitted that it be wrong to hurt a child, she would have had to admit that the adults contained by her childhood were wrong for hurting her...and she can NOT deal with that. It's too much.
So, she have to keep her truth at bay, and the only instrument she could do that was to perpetuate the trauma that was heap on her as a child. After all...it's ok, right? It's GOOD to hurt children...right? You MUST beat them, or they'll turn out bad...RIGHT?
That be the desperation with which my mother raised me. Every contact I have near her, to this day, screams out that same desperate struggle between nature (i.e. "care/love for one's own flesh-and-blood") and "nurture" (i.e. generational abuse).
I repugnance it when people try to "mash" the human experience into a few generalized sentences.
There's no possible way for 1 senario, 1 story to be true of everyone.
Example:
I was watching a TV show where on earth a mother awaited her first child with joy and so much love. In a weird, post-partum depression sort of mental bad health, she took 1 look at her newborn and was convinced, CONVINCED! the child was a space alien. She called the police. She call the goverment, she told anyone who would listen that the child wasn't human and wasn't her baby. Despite the fact that she'd seen the child on ultrasound. Despite seeing the child come out of her own body! So, within it is, her own flesh and blood. A random "glitch" in her brain completely confused the poor woman, destroying the "flesh and blood bond".
So, how does that play with the personality vs. nurture debate?
Then you have the drug abusers who sell their children for drugs.
Where does that fit into your little story?
You have to expand your mind and heart to all the possibilities people have to give. There is exceptions to every rule.
There is a natural bond to clutch care of your biological children, but sometimes chemical levels are off if you suffer from depression that can get that bond seem weak.
For example with my 5 month outmoded, I love her to pieces, I care about making her happy, and making sure she have enough to eat. But when my depression kicks surrounded by (on medication now) I don't really want to be bothered with anybody. I would feel a strain on mine and her bond.
Now this is a girl that will make everybody who is watching her existence hell while I am at work. She will scream and cry while I am at work and The second she hears the garage open She is smiling and laughing. I be told she lies to me. She wasn't that way a few minutes ago.
My mom and my husband will both hand her to me and tell me she requests me and only me. I feel terrible that it cause her that much anguish to be separated from me. It insults her if you offer her a bottle of breast milk. She doesn't prefer formula either. She like a bottle of dampen though. She will eat baby food and she loves her baby chips. Veggie dips.
But yes a bond is in attendance sometimes not as strong and it needs work but it is there. I think Sara breastfeeds so she can extra one on one time next to me. She has 2 older siblings to compete with (and person the baby she'll win every time until she can talk)
I'm not a doctor or a scientist but nearby has to be something to what you're saying. Why? People always voice that when you see your child, when you hold your baby in your arms, you will love him.
They said that all the time to me when I said I never needed to have kids. Source(s): Surprisingly self actualized adult adoptee
Answers: In general, I reflect on *most* people are equipped with maternal/paternal feelings. I also surmise that drive becomes particularly strong when having a bio child, in that is a reason for the hormone changes during pregnancy. There is also as you say a desire to parent already present within many people. I think it's fair-minded to say that most parents want to raise and do the right thing by their children.
All species are easier said than done wired to raise their young, to varying degrees, otherwise the species would simply die out. Source(s): Foster/adoptive mum.
Related Questions: