Giving up a child for adoption to a friend?
After my son was born. A friend of mine and her fiance (whom I've known for years) said they wanted a child. He be in a mind set that he never wanted kids. Hes in his 40's and my friend is within her 20s (don't judge because they are the most intuitive couple I know). He had a vasectomy 10 years ago way past he met my female friend. So they looked into the cost of a reversal, and the cost of invetro (just incase they could extract the sperm instead of trying to concieve after a reversal). So after my son was born, my female friend jokingly said that I would enjoy a baby for her. I told her, I would for the meer fact that both of them deserve a baby, and apparently me and my husband are thoroughly fertile. So I've made it my personal goal, if we do get pregnant again, that that baby is going to my friends. But my Hubby is equitable to the idea. We already have two kids and he said that he didn't want anymore... atleast for a long time.
However, how many of you would grant up a child to someone close to you because they couldn't have one?
Nope! Not for the world. How do you think that child will feel when it know the truth? This is just not about a baby it is almost a person.
You would puposely formulate someone an adoptee?? That is absolutely horrible! I can see why your husband doesn't like the idea, to be precise his flesh and blood child and you are willingly turning your relationship into something that represents a likeness to dog breeding. It's a horrible idea, I could never give away my little one, let alone intend on giving them up before they are even conceived. Friendships don't last forever, DNA does.
Answers: Never, but I'd be happily willing to surrogate a babe if it was because the wannabemom couldn't carry to term.
Please don't spawn a baby to give to someone. There are a LOT of kids in foster attention to detail at the moment, who are very much in need of permanency.
Seriously, beside all due respect, you're not knitting her a blanket. It's a human being. People aren't presents. Source(s): soon to be adoptive mom
I'm Glad i get to answer this question.
Giving up your child is not as easy as everyone thinks. And why would you pass up your child. What if later in life your child starts to wonder why you give him/her up? Seriously they can go adopt children who actually NEED a family. Please don't contribute your baby away, its not fair to you, your husband but more importantly the baby.
i dont htink i could ever give up my own child to someone, even if i started out withthat mind set. i could carry a child for my friend, and hold even offered to, but if it was mine and my husbands own, i just dont think psyche have it in me...
This answer is based on personal and professional experience. I'm a retired nurse, counselor and seasoned mother and grandmother. I read through your question several times to make some assessments (not judgments) to make a contribution you the best answer I can. Based on the information I read I recommend that this is not a win win situation. Your husband and family comes first. Honor your husbands feelings, wishes and thinking. Honor your children as they come first and always. Its a significantly emotional situation at best. In view of your love for your friend and would do anything in the world for her, this could turn within to a "deal breaker" bomb ticking away waiting to
explode killing your cherished friendship and the fall-out will go on for the rest of everyone's lives that are involved. You already know your friend have other options. How bad do you want her friendship for the rest of your lives? Source(s): Seasoned mother, grandmother and nurse/couselor
I would not give up one of my children to anyone..they are not puppies in a litter.
How would your kids you kept feel knowing that you give away their little brother or sister? How would the cild you gave up feel when they found out you had them of late to give them away?
Say you did this for your friend, then a few years latter she dies, soon after he meets someone who wants nothing to do near you or his past. As a result you never see the child again. - I know people this has happen to.
Creating an adoptee on purpose?
No way Source(s): adoptee
i estimate thats a bad idea. Simply because had your friend never brought it up, you would never even CONSIDER doing this.
i realize your heart in the right place, but i would advise you to not do this. Too much potential for broken friendships and hurt feelings, as ably as damage to a child.
I would not give up a child close to me for a couple of reasons. 1. you gain attached to the child when they are inside of you. 2. The adoptive couple could cange their minds. 3. It could be a bad situation if the child knows you are his or her mother because then they will want you. 4. It doesn't allow for a on form friendship between you and your friends if you are in their and thier child's life. 6. you may find you don't agree with their parenting style. 7. You may stop mortal friends.
I wouldn't do it, but if you feel comfronable with it more power to you. That is a amazing gift you would present them
never. it is a bond that can't be shared or given away Source(s): at tiniest in my world
In theory, it's a loving tick, and sounds good in books. In reality, it's not nearly as simple for anyone involved, especially the child.
First of adjectives, all 4 parents would have to be totally onboard. Things need to be address WAYYYYY before conception, like who'd pay for he medical and legitimate bills.
There are instances where doner sperm is available after couple involved in in-vitro do conceive, and they don't want to pay the storage anymore. This style, she could carry the baby, and while you'd probably be the most supportive friend, it would be easier on your marriage if you didn't do this for your friend.
If within the case you do, one thing I think adjectives of you should look into is would you raise the child if something happened to them?
As an adoptive mom,, who'd gone through a horrible pregnancy with my oldest (bio) child, I'm so obliged that there are first moms who place children, when they need to. I wouldn't feel right have anyone carry a child and creating it for me. There's too many children out there that entail homes.
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However, how many of you would grant up a child to someone close to you because they couldn't have one?
Nope! Not for the world. How do you think that child will feel when it know the truth? This is just not about a baby it is almost a person.
You would puposely formulate someone an adoptee?? That is absolutely horrible! I can see why your husband doesn't like the idea, to be precise his flesh and blood child and you are willingly turning your relationship into something that represents a likeness to dog breeding. It's a horrible idea, I could never give away my little one, let alone intend on giving them up before they are even conceived. Friendships don't last forever, DNA does.
Answers: Never, but I'd be happily willing to surrogate a babe if it was because the wannabemom couldn't carry to term.
Please don't spawn a baby to give to someone. There are a LOT of kids in foster attention to detail at the moment, who are very much in need of permanency.
Seriously, beside all due respect, you're not knitting her a blanket. It's a human being. People aren't presents. Source(s): soon to be adoptive mom
I'm Glad i get to answer this question.
Giving up your child is not as easy as everyone thinks. And why would you pass up your child. What if later in life your child starts to wonder why you give him/her up? Seriously they can go adopt children who actually NEED a family. Please don't contribute your baby away, its not fair to you, your husband but more importantly the baby.
i dont htink i could ever give up my own child to someone, even if i started out withthat mind set. i could carry a child for my friend, and hold even offered to, but if it was mine and my husbands own, i just dont think psyche have it in me...
This answer is based on personal and professional experience. I'm a retired nurse, counselor and seasoned mother and grandmother. I read through your question several times to make some assessments (not judgments) to make a contribution you the best answer I can. Based on the information I read I recommend that this is not a win win situation. Your husband and family comes first. Honor your husbands feelings, wishes and thinking. Honor your children as they come first and always. Its a significantly emotional situation at best. In view of your love for your friend and would do anything in the world for her, this could turn within to a "deal breaker" bomb ticking away waiting to
explode killing your cherished friendship and the fall-out will go on for the rest of everyone's lives that are involved. You already know your friend have other options. How bad do you want her friendship for the rest of your lives? Source(s): Seasoned mother, grandmother and nurse/couselor
I would not give up one of my children to anyone..they are not puppies in a litter.
How would your kids you kept feel knowing that you give away their little brother or sister? How would the cild you gave up feel when they found out you had them of late to give them away?
Say you did this for your friend, then a few years latter she dies, soon after he meets someone who wants nothing to do near you or his past. As a result you never see the child again. - I know people this has happen to.
Creating an adoptee on purpose?
No way Source(s): adoptee
i estimate thats a bad idea. Simply because had your friend never brought it up, you would never even CONSIDER doing this.
i realize your heart in the right place, but i would advise you to not do this. Too much potential for broken friendships and hurt feelings, as ably as damage to a child.
I would not give up a child close to me for a couple of reasons. 1. you gain attached to the child when they are inside of you. 2. The adoptive couple could cange their minds. 3. It could be a bad situation if the child knows you are his or her mother because then they will want you. 4. It doesn't allow for a on form friendship between you and your friends if you are in their and thier child's life. 6. you may find you don't agree with their parenting style. 7. You may stop mortal friends.
I wouldn't do it, but if you feel comfronable with it more power to you. That is a amazing gift you would present them
never. it is a bond that can't be shared or given away Source(s): at tiniest in my world
In theory, it's a loving tick, and sounds good in books. In reality, it's not nearly as simple for anyone involved, especially the child.
First of adjectives, all 4 parents would have to be totally onboard. Things need to be address WAYYYYY before conception, like who'd pay for he medical and legitimate bills.
There are instances where doner sperm is available after couple involved in in-vitro do conceive, and they don't want to pay the storage anymore. This style, she could carry the baby, and while you'd probably be the most supportive friend, it would be easier on your marriage if you didn't do this for your friend.
If within the case you do, one thing I think adjectives of you should look into is would you raise the child if something happened to them?
As an adoptive mom,, who'd gone through a horrible pregnancy with my oldest (bio) child, I'm so obliged that there are first moms who place children, when they need to. I wouldn't feel right have anyone carry a child and creating it for me. There's too many children out there that entail homes.
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