When grandparents adopt their grandchildren ..?
and I mean adopt, not guardianship, do the children call them mom and dad?
I know in most adoptive homes, mine included, the children hail as us mom and dad (and of course call First mom, mom as well). But waht if the adoptive parent was already a applicant of that family and had a label attached, such as auntie, Grandpa etc.etc.
Just curious if you know of examples.
I think it would depend on the situation and length of relationship between the grandparents and children. If the children are older and already call their grandparents Papa or Grandma I wouldn't construe they would call them anything else. If they were babies or knew little or nil of their biological parents before the adoption I could see calling the grandparents Mom and Dad or at least Mama Jen or Papa Dave, etc.
Depends on the family, and repeatedly the age of the children involved. I know families where the grandparents are called Mom and Dad, and others where on earth they remain Grandpa and Grandma. It's really a personal thing with the individuals involved.
I actually know one relatives where the grandmother adopted siblings who called her different things. The girl be around six, the boy about twelve, when their firstmom died. The girl decided on her own to call her grandmother Mom, and still does (she's an fully fledged now.) To the brother, Grandma was always Grandma. I never saw any indication that any was a problem for the grandmother, and she seemed to just adopt what each child decided to call her.
I surmise it depends whether the child has their caretaker firmly pegged in another role, resembling grandparent, aunt/uncle, etc., or if the role isn't defined yet in the child's mind at the time of adoption. It also depends on what the individual family prefers. There's no standard, or right or wrong.
Answers: Well, I enjoy one example that illustrates both.
There is a family with whom my people has been friends for a long time. Since I was 4, truly, and I'm well into adulthood, so, a long time.
Their mother had mental condition issues. My mother, on more than one occasion, responded to a phone call from one of these kids (all of whom were below 7 at the time) that there was no toilet paper within the house, no food, the water was cut off, etc. There be 5 children, 3, and then a set of twins. All had different fathers, none of whom be willing to be parents. 2 were incarcerated.
The kids were eventually taken surrounded by by their grandparents, and adopted. The first 3 were 9, 7 and 6 when this happened. The twins be 2. The older ones call them Grandma and Grandpa, and the twins call them mom & dad. They are the lone parents they've known. They don't know their father at all, and their mother chose not to parent, at all. She asked her parents to adopt her children, because if they only just took guardianship, the matter would have to be re-visited periodically, and she just required it "done with".
The kids still love their mother very much, as do I (I've known her my whole life), but she be (and still is) in no way equipped to be a parent. Now that some of her kids have kids, those kids ring her "Gram" and her parents (who raised her 5 children) Mamere & Papere (french for grandma & grandpa...they're french).
So, in short, I think the kids usually numeral out what makes sense to them. It won't be the same to every family, or even to every appendage of the same family.
I know a custodial Grandmother that has raised the child from birth, and she have always been Mommy
I also know of a similar situation where the child call grandma Mommy, and his bio mom Mama.
I've also seen aunts and uncles who adopt their neices and nephews go from auntie pam, to pam ,to mom over the first year of adoption. The kids need to be comfortable beside what they call their guardian, and mom usually comes naturally in time
When I be a single 20-something, I dated a guy who had been adopted at the age of 8 by his mother's parents. He call (and I presume still does) his adopted parents "mom and dad" and called his first mom (now, adopted sister) "Katie" (not her valid name, but you get idea).
He told me that he made the change "naturally" (his choice of word) at the time that the adoption took place. From relinquishment to adoption be less than 5 months for him -- which seems short by the standards of the time (early 70s) -- I'm guessing because it was adjectives done privately (one attorney and two court visits) and "in family".
I have a good friend (lifelong and still surrounded by touch) who was adopted by an aunt and uncle when she was 5 years out-of-date. She started off calling them "Mama [Initial of last name]" and "Daddy [Dad's first name]" -- and, no, I don't have any concept why it worked out that way.
After a while she just started calling them Mom and Dad. She also started off by referring to her first mother as "my hoary mom" (remember, she was only 5) and eventually started calling her by her first name.
Here's the interesting part of the pack: She as a brother (who was kept) by her first mother that is no relation to the family that adopt her. She still calls him her brother in addition to calling adjectives of her adopted siblings (who are ALL adopted, btw) brothers and sisters.
Those are the only two populace I know personally who were adopted "contained by family" and both were older children when adopted.
It's interesting to read adjectives the responses.
Take care~ Source(s): Reunited adult adoptee and social worker.
Most would send for the parents who adopt them Mom and Dad. In guardianship I also know some kids call their GA parents mom and dad also. I had a teen in GA and I call for him son most of the time and he is fine with that and he in turn has call me mom many times. Another relative young man we raised for 6 yrs spends more time next to us and calls and relies on us more than the parents. Whoever meets their needs is the tangible parent to THEM I have figured out. I have told both to ring and visit their parents and I was TOLD they had to put them on their rota. So I don't believe there is any certain way to predict what anyone call anyone. I would say whatever works for the children---I would go beside that.
I call my grandparents momma and daddy, but I didn't know I was adopted until I was 9. Their son, my bio father be refered to as "Your brother Ronnie who was killed in a coup¨¦ wreck when you were a baby so you don't remember him" Seriously, if I saw a pic of him and asked who it was, or hear the name Ronnie that was the speech I got until I be 4 or 5 (brainwashing much).
My bio dad was refered to as Ronnie and I had no idea he have been married until I found out I was adopted and he be my bio dad.(well ok I didn't actually know he had been marrie, I hust dorta figured)
Later when I tolerate them knew I was adopted my bio mom be refered to by her first name as well.
Now that I know my first mom I call her mom. Since I never met my first father when I speak of him he is refered to as my biological father or Ronnie.
My friend was adopt as a baby and called her grandparents mom and dad, and her sister/mom she called her sister or her mom depending on her mood!
I also know of a girl who be adopted by her aunt when she was school age (3rd grade). She call that woman mom and even changed her name so it fit in more with her contemporary sisters/cousins!! I don't know what she calls her birth mom!
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I know in most adoptive homes, mine included, the children hail as us mom and dad (and of course call First mom, mom as well). But waht if the adoptive parent was already a applicant of that family and had a label attached, such as auntie, Grandpa etc.etc.
Just curious if you know of examples.
I think it would depend on the situation and length of relationship between the grandparents and children. If the children are older and already call their grandparents Papa or Grandma I wouldn't construe they would call them anything else. If they were babies or knew little or nil of their biological parents before the adoption I could see calling the grandparents Mom and Dad or at least Mama Jen or Papa Dave, etc.
Depends on the family, and repeatedly the age of the children involved. I know families where the grandparents are called Mom and Dad, and others where on earth they remain Grandpa and Grandma. It's really a personal thing with the individuals involved.
I actually know one relatives where the grandmother adopted siblings who called her different things. The girl be around six, the boy about twelve, when their firstmom died. The girl decided on her own to call her grandmother Mom, and still does (she's an fully fledged now.) To the brother, Grandma was always Grandma. I never saw any indication that any was a problem for the grandmother, and she seemed to just adopt what each child decided to call her.
I surmise it depends whether the child has their caretaker firmly pegged in another role, resembling grandparent, aunt/uncle, etc., or if the role isn't defined yet in the child's mind at the time of adoption. It also depends on what the individual family prefers. There's no standard, or right or wrong.
Answers: Well, I enjoy one example that illustrates both.
There is a family with whom my people has been friends for a long time. Since I was 4, truly, and I'm well into adulthood, so, a long time.
Their mother had mental condition issues. My mother, on more than one occasion, responded to a phone call from one of these kids (all of whom were below 7 at the time) that there was no toilet paper within the house, no food, the water was cut off, etc. There be 5 children, 3, and then a set of twins. All had different fathers, none of whom be willing to be parents. 2 were incarcerated.
The kids were eventually taken surrounded by by their grandparents, and adopted. The first 3 were 9, 7 and 6 when this happened. The twins be 2. The older ones call them Grandma and Grandpa, and the twins call them mom & dad. They are the lone parents they've known. They don't know their father at all, and their mother chose not to parent, at all. She asked her parents to adopt her children, because if they only just took guardianship, the matter would have to be re-visited periodically, and she just required it "done with".
The kids still love their mother very much, as do I (I've known her my whole life), but she be (and still is) in no way equipped to be a parent. Now that some of her kids have kids, those kids ring her "Gram" and her parents (who raised her 5 children) Mamere & Papere (french for grandma & grandpa...they're french).
So, in short, I think the kids usually numeral out what makes sense to them. It won't be the same to every family, or even to every appendage of the same family.
I know a custodial Grandmother that has raised the child from birth, and she have always been Mommy
I also know of a similar situation where the child call grandma Mommy, and his bio mom Mama.
I've also seen aunts and uncles who adopt their neices and nephews go from auntie pam, to pam ,to mom over the first year of adoption. The kids need to be comfortable beside what they call their guardian, and mom usually comes naturally in time
When I be a single 20-something, I dated a guy who had been adopted at the age of 8 by his mother's parents. He call (and I presume still does) his adopted parents "mom and dad" and called his first mom (now, adopted sister) "Katie" (not her valid name, but you get idea).
He told me that he made the change "naturally" (his choice of word) at the time that the adoption took place. From relinquishment to adoption be less than 5 months for him -- which seems short by the standards of the time (early 70s) -- I'm guessing because it was adjectives done privately (one attorney and two court visits) and "in family".
I have a good friend (lifelong and still surrounded by touch) who was adopted by an aunt and uncle when she was 5 years out-of-date. She started off calling them "Mama [Initial of last name]" and "Daddy [Dad's first name]" -- and, no, I don't have any concept why it worked out that way.
After a while she just started calling them Mom and Dad. She also started off by referring to her first mother as "my hoary mom" (remember, she was only 5) and eventually started calling her by her first name.
Here's the interesting part of the pack: She as a brother (who was kept) by her first mother that is no relation to the family that adopt her. She still calls him her brother in addition to calling adjectives of her adopted siblings (who are ALL adopted, btw) brothers and sisters.
Those are the only two populace I know personally who were adopted "contained by family" and both were older children when adopted.
It's interesting to read adjectives the responses.
Take care~ Source(s): Reunited adult adoptee and social worker.
Most would send for the parents who adopt them Mom and Dad. In guardianship I also know some kids call their GA parents mom and dad also. I had a teen in GA and I call for him son most of the time and he is fine with that and he in turn has call me mom many times. Another relative young man we raised for 6 yrs spends more time next to us and calls and relies on us more than the parents. Whoever meets their needs is the tangible parent to THEM I have figured out. I have told both to ring and visit their parents and I was TOLD they had to put them on their rota. So I don't believe there is any certain way to predict what anyone call anyone. I would say whatever works for the children---I would go beside that.
I call my grandparents momma and daddy, but I didn't know I was adopted until I was 9. Their son, my bio father be refered to as "Your brother Ronnie who was killed in a coup¨¦ wreck when you were a baby so you don't remember him" Seriously, if I saw a pic of him and asked who it was, or hear the name Ronnie that was the speech I got until I be 4 or 5 (brainwashing much).
My bio dad was refered to as Ronnie and I had no idea he have been married until I found out I was adopted and he be my bio dad.(well ok I didn't actually know he had been marrie, I hust dorta figured)
Later when I tolerate them knew I was adopted my bio mom be refered to by her first name as well.
Now that I know my first mom I call her mom. Since I never met my first father when I speak of him he is refered to as my biological father or Ronnie.
My friend was adopt as a baby and called her grandparents mom and dad, and her sister/mom she called her sister or her mom depending on her mood!
I also know of a girl who be adopted by her aunt when she was school age (3rd grade). She call that woman mom and even changed her name so it fit in more with her contemporary sisters/cousins!! I don't know what she calls her birth mom!
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