Do adopt population tend to discern pressure?
to make the mom in their presents feel she is number one. Similar to a girl near 2 best friends who puts down the other friend, in an attempt to strengthen that relationship.
In this case the natural dad be told how horrible life was for her, being whitewash, poor, mentally abused, and then she turns around and talks about him like way to her other parents.
What do you think?
I ask this, because someone I know totally bashed 1 parent after turned around and bashed the other.
Does talking bad in the region of 1 parent show loyalty to the parent who is present at that moment?
It is not lost on me exactly how fortunate I am for the situation I have.
My amom talks to my first mom more than I do. They own become close, and communicate via email all the time. They both respect each other.
The short answer is 'no'. I feel no pressure to please any one. I have been very supported by both, and both respect boundaries especially well concerning the other.
It is made a little easier also since our relationships were adjectives defined early on. My first mom requested to be called my "birthmother" to others (I know some on here find that offensive, but that be her choice), and not to be called 'Mom', but rather to be called by her first mark. I think she sort of sees herself as an aunt, or something to that effect. I love that she is in my vivacity, but I don't feel pressure to try to meld her directly into the mother role, since she made it clear that she would be uncomfortable with that. She also have a great deal of respect for my mother (she did choose her, after all), so she is very supportive of our relationship.
Again, I realize that my situation might be an anomoly and that I am very fortunate. My Dad is lately my Dad, since I have no contact, and no desire to have contact, with my biological father.
I enjoy felt some of that. I do feel like when I am sharing my excitement in the region of reunion with my parents that I also need to reassure them that I love them too and that they are still my parents. I don't know how much of it is me picking up on their anxieties and how much of it is me projecting insecurities onto them, but I have feel like I need to reassure my parents throughout the reunion process.
However, that hasn't really manifested contained by me needing to trash either parent in proclaim to do this.
Well, it took me until the end of your question to understand what you be saying. This is the same mental dilemma children of divorced parents have. Knowing both your adopt and biological parents is rare, so I'm going to attribute the same qualities of this issue near divorce. The answer is yes. But usually this is only the case if the different parties involved share some sort of below par will toward each other. A child would not want to tell 1 parent that they like the other better, because they would be afraid the parent they're chitchat to won't love them anymore. Children are innately non-confrontational when it comes to matters of familiar turmoil and will usually try to avoid being the target of discomfited questioning.
In addition, sometimes kids might just be speaking honestly. They could extremely well simply be expressing what they feel. We all know ancestors who we love and have issues with a certain aspect of their self-worth. And most of the time (if it's something that is not truly devious) we won't say anything to them about it.
Well thats an interesting concept.
I am adopted and was treated really poorly by my adoptive parents and ended up being aprehended by social servies but my biological parents had me and my sisters taken away by SS when we be little for abuse as well
Both have tried to say aloud bad things to me about the other (im so sad you get adopted by people who are incomptent and didnt deserve you) or (your biological parents dont truly love you or they would have be there all alng) and to both parents i defended the others. im not sure why i did but it did NOT make them bullish in iether case so i could see how it would seem to show loyalty for some race. I guess it depends on the maturity levels of the adults and what kind of relatives they are.
Answers: I can kind of understand that feeling. I am a pretty loyal individual so I think I would struggle with where my loyalties should falsehood. Because my mothers are both women, I can be sure there would probably be some jealousy. I do believe there is a ethereal balance in reunion and it is a HARD line to pace, especially for the adoptee, who really just wants to be loved by both moms.
I do, still hope that I get to amble that line one day. Source(s): Surprisingly self actualized adult adoptee
I never really experienced that sort of article. My aMom will make some snyde comments, though. I dont even acknowledge her comments.
I recently got some more pictures of my N Mom when she be much younger, and we honestly could be twins. Right down to our enormous teeth and cowlick in our bangs. My oldest daughter asked my a Mom if she have seen the pictures. My Mom replied, "Oh, I have seen her, and she is NOT an attractive woman." GULP.
My point is I dont ever speak down about one set of parents to the other. My afam does it for me, lol. I just ignore them.
Your friend may get the impression pressure, though. Maybe she is subconsiously trying to avoid competition between the two? Source(s): my life
I am terrified that when/if the day comes that I meet my instinctive mother, she will ask me how I was treated by my adoptive parents. I know I owe her honesty, but I wouldn't want to sadden her. I don't communicate enough beside my adoptive parents to tell them about anything in my crossing to find my natural parents. I know my a-mother wouldn't handle it well. I know that my a-father would be stoic and never really enunciate anything about it, one way or the other.
This is something I'll have to really meditate hard about when it comes into play, but until then I'll only think on it. Source(s): Adoptee, mother of 5
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In this case the natural dad be told how horrible life was for her, being whitewash, poor, mentally abused, and then she turns around and talks about him like way to her other parents.
What do you think?
I ask this, because someone I know totally bashed 1 parent after turned around and bashed the other.
Does talking bad in the region of 1 parent show loyalty to the parent who is present at that moment?
It is not lost on me exactly how fortunate I am for the situation I have.
My amom talks to my first mom more than I do. They own become close, and communicate via email all the time. They both respect each other.
The short answer is 'no'. I feel no pressure to please any one. I have been very supported by both, and both respect boundaries especially well concerning the other.
It is made a little easier also since our relationships were adjectives defined early on. My first mom requested to be called my "birthmother" to others (I know some on here find that offensive, but that be her choice), and not to be called 'Mom', but rather to be called by her first mark. I think she sort of sees herself as an aunt, or something to that effect. I love that she is in my vivacity, but I don't feel pressure to try to meld her directly into the mother role, since she made it clear that she would be uncomfortable with that. She also have a great deal of respect for my mother (she did choose her, after all), so she is very supportive of our relationship.
Again, I realize that my situation might be an anomoly and that I am very fortunate. My Dad is lately my Dad, since I have no contact, and no desire to have contact, with my biological father.
I enjoy felt some of that. I do feel like when I am sharing my excitement in the region of reunion with my parents that I also need to reassure them that I love them too and that they are still my parents. I don't know how much of it is me picking up on their anxieties and how much of it is me projecting insecurities onto them, but I have feel like I need to reassure my parents throughout the reunion process.
However, that hasn't really manifested contained by me needing to trash either parent in proclaim to do this.
Well, it took me until the end of your question to understand what you be saying. This is the same mental dilemma children of divorced parents have. Knowing both your adopt and biological parents is rare, so I'm going to attribute the same qualities of this issue near divorce. The answer is yes. But usually this is only the case if the different parties involved share some sort of below par will toward each other. A child would not want to tell 1 parent that they like the other better, because they would be afraid the parent they're chitchat to won't love them anymore. Children are innately non-confrontational when it comes to matters of familiar turmoil and will usually try to avoid being the target of discomfited questioning.
In addition, sometimes kids might just be speaking honestly. They could extremely well simply be expressing what they feel. We all know ancestors who we love and have issues with a certain aspect of their self-worth. And most of the time (if it's something that is not truly devious) we won't say anything to them about it.
Well thats an interesting concept.
I am adopted and was treated really poorly by my adoptive parents and ended up being aprehended by social servies but my biological parents had me and my sisters taken away by SS when we be little for abuse as well
Both have tried to say aloud bad things to me about the other (im so sad you get adopted by people who are incomptent and didnt deserve you) or (your biological parents dont truly love you or they would have be there all alng) and to both parents i defended the others. im not sure why i did but it did NOT make them bullish in iether case so i could see how it would seem to show loyalty for some race. I guess it depends on the maturity levels of the adults and what kind of relatives they are.
Answers: I can kind of understand that feeling. I am a pretty loyal individual so I think I would struggle with where my loyalties should falsehood. Because my mothers are both women, I can be sure there would probably be some jealousy. I do believe there is a ethereal balance in reunion and it is a HARD line to pace, especially for the adoptee, who really just wants to be loved by both moms.
I do, still hope that I get to amble that line one day. Source(s): Surprisingly self actualized adult adoptee
I never really experienced that sort of article. My aMom will make some snyde comments, though. I dont even acknowledge her comments.
I recently got some more pictures of my N Mom when she be much younger, and we honestly could be twins. Right down to our enormous teeth and cowlick in our bangs. My oldest daughter asked my a Mom if she have seen the pictures. My Mom replied, "Oh, I have seen her, and she is NOT an attractive woman." GULP.
My point is I dont ever speak down about one set of parents to the other. My afam does it for me, lol. I just ignore them.
Your friend may get the impression pressure, though. Maybe she is subconsiously trying to avoid competition between the two? Source(s): my life
I am terrified that when/if the day comes that I meet my instinctive mother, she will ask me how I was treated by my adoptive parents. I know I owe her honesty, but I wouldn't want to sadden her. I don't communicate enough beside my adoptive parents to tell them about anything in my crossing to find my natural parents. I know my a-mother wouldn't handle it well. I know that my a-father would be stoic and never really enunciate anything about it, one way or the other.
This is something I'll have to really meditate hard about when it comes into play, but until then I'll only think on it. Source(s): Adoptee, mother of 5
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