In adoption, who benefits from Motherhood becoming a competitive event.?
I have noticed that in adoption women are pitted against women. The ones who are infertile are vying for the right to adopt the dwindling supply of babies, and justifying themselves as worthier than the too young/too poor/too uneducated/ too something mother who give birth. The natural mothers are being hounded by industry people, and desperate women who want her newborn. These are facts, not suppositions. It is clear by reading a bit of the archives on here.
My point, who benefits from these wars of women on women? Who dictates the language, the agenda, the terms? Who is the receiver of the money?
Why are we not addressing together as women, the increase rate of infertility? That is worldwide.
Why are we not asking ourselves why women are encouraged to wait to start family?
Why are children seen as a burden that will ruin their mother's life until a "man"made set of criteria has be completed?
Who is benefitting from these things? Who wrote the rules? Why are women remaining pitted against other women?
Ollie, you're gettin' on my last nerve. Seriously. You might own better luck in a Christian Pro-Life group. Make haste.
The kids certainly do not benefit, but I find this interview slanted. What about choice?
What about those first mothers who legitimately WANTED to relinquish? It's not fair to utter that you know how they feel. They are allowed to make that choice. They are human beings, not statistics.
What about those "infertiles" who didn't dawdle for material possessions and corporate success to start families? What almost those who are just getting by, and have made many financial sacrifice in order to be a parent, just as a automatic parent might?
What if those same "infertiles" are not waiting for your children, but are instead adopting from the system, and yet still being call "baby snatchers"?
It works both ways, as I see it. We're all just show to each other, because we need someone to hate for our misery. I can't imagine showing so little respect to my or my daughter's first mothers by questioning their fertility, choices, or lifestyles (except when my daughter was directly impacted/abused) any more than I assume it's appropriate for us to start penalizing adoptive parents for wanting children, when we all know that they are, by and large, well-intentioned. Perfect parents? No, not necessarily, but neither are biological parents.
The problem, as I see it, is not either mother, or the child. The problem is the commodification of children, for which neither can be blamed. If we ALL have the best interest of kids at heart, I highly doubt that so many cruel words would be thrown around.
I also agree with Gypsy. We so occasionally mention men, though they are a part of the process. But, it's easier for us to attack each other, and distract from the real problem, isn't it? Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom
The adoption industry benefits from this competition, this "jealousy". Women are naturally jealous of one another and commonly will not get a long. We are competitve creatures who are allowing ourselves to be pitted against one another.
I find the entire adoption industry to be extremely sexist. I think we need another feminist revolution.
My point, who benefits from these wars of women on women?
Well, women who are afraid that their child will love his.her OTHER mother more.
Who dictates the language, the agenda, the lingo?
We all TRY, but we will never all agree.
Who is the recipient of the money?
The agencies, some times the relinquishing mother, the states.
Why are we not address together as women, the increase rate of infertility?
Because infertile women are shamed and those who sterilize themselves claim they are not infertile (because it's SOOO shameful).
Why are we not asking ourselves why women are encouraged to wait to start families?
Because we own convinced ourselves that we need to just look after ourselves. We';re told that if we "Piss away" our fertility, we could "Just adopt".
Why are children seen as a burden that will ruin their mother's energy until a "man"made set of criteria has been completed?
Children aren't the ones to blame, it's our actions that ruin our lives, it'consequences of our doings that become burden. Some mothers feel ruined (adopted ones too) because they decided to raise children.
Who is benefiting from these things?
Definitely not the kids!!
Who wrote the rules?
A bunch of foulable humans.
Why are women remaining pitted against other women?
Because women hold attaching other women.
-------
All HUMANS need to come together for the sake of children.
That means talking something like the tough issues that separate familes no matter how bad it reflects on the rest of the group. We involve to openly discuss how drugs, alcohol, crime, infertiliy, MONEY, entitlement and lack of parental involvement effects adoption or else it will NEVER redeploy.
Fight against these factors and fight against the need for adoption. Lets facade it, "Birthmoms" are assumed addicts or abusive, because too many are (1 is too many). Fight against invective, Fight against addiction and we will have little to no need for adoption. Then it will be a lot easier for individuals to see the plith of women who WERE NOT abusive or addicts and how adoption ISN'T always a win-win.
I reckon I was pretty innocent when I first came to Yahoo Answers. I asked about sending a communication to my son's bio mom. I got such great answers that I did not realize that as an adoptive mom, I am persona non grata around here. I started reading the post and was shocked at first with how these women be "talking" to each other and then I just get mad. And I started acting as poorly as I think some of you act.
First, permit me say that in our adoption expierence, our son's bio mom was not underaged or unschooled. She is a college graduate and is a social worker. I have 0 doubt that she did not know what she was getting into. Is that the case for adjectives bio mothers? No. I know that. I also never consider a "first mom" a slut or poor or any of the other names that get tossed around. I don't understand the anger toward bio mothers.
Neither do I comprehend it toward adoptive mothers. Not all adoptive mothers expect you to give them your "womb wet" infant, nor do they think you owe them your kid b/c you are poor or underaged and they are not.
Are some women desperate for babies? Yes. But, I sure hate to see them bullied on here when they ask a question. That is not support.
Sly, I have to articulate that I do feel like you are just as guilty here. You said the other daytime "People pi$$ away their fertility and then want a baby to feel complete". Was that supportive? If you own not walked a mile in that womans shoes, then you don't know why she is powerless to concieve. Why rub salt in the wound?
As far as in adoption, who benefits from Motherhood becoming a competitive event...not a soul.
My son has another mother. I respect that. I respect her. She simply did not want to parent him. That was her choice. If I was not the one chosen to parent him, it would enjoy been someone else. Either way, she was not keeping him. I hope that she loves him, not for me or for her but for him. He may want to gather round her one day and that is his birth right. He has a right to ask question and he has a right to answers.
Not all adoptive parents are "baby snatchers" or greedy. Do I reckon that I am the perfect adoptive parent? NO! In the course of his life I will stumble, I will fail at times. I will not other know the right things to say to him about his birth and adoption. I feel blessed by the oppurtunity to try. I grain blessed that I have him. All I want to be is a good mother. I love him.
We are not doing anyone any good anyone hateful to each other.
It matters not if the battle is woman agaiinst woman. Every individual MUST fight for what is right and honorable and that, my dear, is LIFE!
Well, considering I just read on the anti-adoption blogspot that "adoptive parent" and "adoptive family" should be replaced with "adoptive caregiver", it sounds close to some people are threatened by the idea that someone can be an ADOPTIVE MOTHER and still be valid.
ETA: Sly: http://antiadoption.blogspot.com/
According to the website, terms resembling "adoptive family" aren't used. And the proper term is "adopter" or "adoptive caregiver."
Answers: Women since the dawn of time have been at time of war with other women.mostly in competition for men..then secondly for children.
Women are their own worst enemy...and that's just the way any patriarchal society likes it to be. Keeps women as an underclass. So long as women are at period of war with other women.it is a huge distraction from the Cause of the War.Men in Power leading women around on leashes, close to puppies and dogs.
Best way to keep women under the Male Thumb...keep hold of women barefoot and pregnant...and if they can't get pregnant, devise a social engineering plan to ensure they get babies/children from other mothers. Then after huge amounts of female societal brainwashing (other women are substandard than, than you)..let the women come to believe...they thought these grand schemes adjectives up, all on their very own.
In the end it's adjectives about men, sex, mating, and procreation...and Powerful Men want to control it all! Many a man have become rich and powerful off the backs of women and children.the most vulnerable contained by any society...anywhere in the world.
When women take back their own womanly power and have compassion and a measure of empathy for their 'sisters'...maybe this War will ruin. But I know it won't happen anytime soon in my life time, that's for sure.
Has anyone not notice.in all these discussions about surrender, adoption, fertility and infertility.how left males are.even the mention of them? WHY? because women are so terribly busy blaming other women.distraction rules again.
***Yes, yes, I know there are a FEW males here...but that's only a handful here, and they are noticably lost elsewhere, unless it's on the subject of abortion.
ETA: ""Sly, I have to say that I do get the impression like you are just as guilty here. You said the other day "People pi$$ away their fertility and after want a baby to feel complete". Was that supportive? If you have not walk a mile in that womans shoes, then you don't know why she is unable to concieve. Why rub saline in the wound?""
Well let's look at this all the way around. Do you the human being I quoted above feel it is 'supportive' for those who adopt or are wishing to..to say "You spread your legs", Just because you give birth does not make you a mother", "You are just an egg donor", "Only you are responsible for your irresponsible behavior", "You should have be on birth control"...and the list is quite endless what abundant burfmothers here have been told, several times, by aparents and PAPs alike. Do you believe that those statements above are 'supportive' of a mother who surrendered a baby to adoption, for any explanation?? All types of assumptions are made about the natural mother...but we nmothers are to assume nothing roughly speaking the other side. Why is the subject of infertility off limits here...but not the fertility and actions of the instinctive mother? Source(s): I lived with a MAN for 43 years...I gave birth to 2 sons...I am the grandmother to 6 grandsons.So..NO.I am not a Man-Hater...I am not a Man-Appeaser! I have categorically learned to see thru male BS over the years! And quite a bit of womanly BS...as well!
Men wrote the rules within society and continue to. To pit women against women insures that we will have no one to turn to. In the terminate, men always stick together. The male dominated society remains intact and in control if women are delicate, alone, and stripped of dignity. I believe Naomi Wolfe touched on this in 'The Beauty Myth'.
You know I am glad that someone has the guts to ask these types of question. I felt that way when I decided to hand over my son up for adoption when I was 15. I was in the too young at heart category and decided that giving Conner up would be the best situation to benefit him. Of course when it came time to walk away it be hard and I had second thoughts. Now instead of the adoptive parents comforting me and reassuring me that I will/can be involved contained by his life. They screamed at not only me but my mother and blamed her for my conveyance in heart. I went through with it but you are right.who really benefits from the women-women period of war when it comes to children. Other than the children of course.
Outstanding post, SLY. I truly anticipate that. It's the part of you that I respect the most. Your ability to express an issue in a forth-right bearing, without all the emotional B/S.
"Why are women provoked to wait to start families?" I'm sure the reasons are massive, and varied. I think people should do what "works for them", as long as it does not "burden" others. In that statement, I'm focusing on personal responsibility. Too plentiful people AREN'T!! They just do as they feel, and low & behold a kid gets "made". THEN the arena of "how to deal" with that baby pops up. Pro Choice. Pro existence, blah, blah, blah. How about Pro-Responsibility? Why are people not held accountable for their egocentric indulgences?
Is this really a competition? No, it isn't. Are there "judgments" being made? Absolutely. If I "screw-up", it costs me something. It's all chunk of life. But when people commence swapping their "DNA", because it "feel good", WE are told it's none of our business? If the "product" is more people on Welfare, Hell yes, it's MY business. It's MY Tax dollars being spent to support someone who was too stupid, or too poor, or too irresponsible, or too "whatever"!! If THEY can't "support it", they shouldn't "create it"! So if they enjoy a choice to make, I guess you could say that I'm "Pro-choice". But there are the burdens of anyone labeled. Why should I be labeled? I had nothing to do with ANY ONES "choice". It's their choice to generate. As long as it doesn't "cost" ME, I really don't care what their "choice" IS. There are benefits, or consequences, to everything WE do as people. They carry their rewards, and their sorrows.
As to the Adoption Industry, it wants to be overhauled, reviewed, and restructured. I can't begin to address it as well as You CAN. I know that, as well as You do.
The lone Competition worth caring about, is in the spectator sport of life.
The better you live it, the better the rewards.
If you fail in duration, the penalties are harsh.
It's all just about the GAME, and how You play it.
Who benefits? Fat cats contained by the adoption industry. No one should own a mansion or drive a luxury car because they traffic humans, legally, or illegally.
It is supply vs. emergency, and so long as the supply is less than the demand, prime deals are cut to "find homes" for our flesh and blood.
I construe that as women we are fed many different things from birth about how we should hold ourselves, how and when to start a family connections, what "status" we must hold before starting a family... We need to numeral out for ourselves, without the voices of those who don't know our personal truths, when and how we want events in our lives to thieve place. We need to remove stigma from titles such as "low income" or "teen parent" and other harmful labels.
Infertility wishes to be dealt with on a one by one basis, as near are a plethora of causes, and just as many treatments.
I have a child at 21. I was working, but my partner was not. I was contained by college, but hadn't finished many classes. I decided to keep the child, and it took some time and great challenge to get myself to the point where I felt comfortable parenting, but it happen. I didn't want to wait until I was done with my schooling. I didn't want to dawdle until I was married. I wanted the child I was carrying. I be told to abort, to give her up, but I couldn't. I was on government aid for a while, but soon be able to give that up too, and get a great opportunity with great benefits. I was a single mother with 2 children by the time I be 23. There was a great amount of stigma, but I overcame. It can happen. I am no longer poor, uneducated or too childish to parent. I had the support of very few people surrounded by this, but if I can do this... I think many people can.
I disgust to think of women pitted against women in this, but I think we are pitted against one another because some women surface that other women use their fertility irresponsilbly. It is no one's business how I use my fertility, except mine, and whoever is there to finish the other 50% of conception. We need to stop seeing young, "poor" women as hopeless, and verbs together to aid them. Family preservation is what we should strive for. Not supplying those who want children with the children of those who they feel shouldn't raise them. Source(s): Adoptee, mother of 5
Related Questions:
Is in that a website where on earth I can look at babie's(pictures) up for adoption surrounded by chicago or alien york city?
I'm considering adoption...?
Isn't in attendance other someone who could extend more materially than you?
My point, who benefits from these wars of women on women? Who dictates the language, the agenda, the terms? Who is the receiver of the money?
Why are we not addressing together as women, the increase rate of infertility? That is worldwide.
Why are we not asking ourselves why women are encouraged to wait to start family?
Why are children seen as a burden that will ruin their mother's life until a "man"made set of criteria has be completed?
Who is benefitting from these things? Who wrote the rules? Why are women remaining pitted against other women?
Ollie, you're gettin' on my last nerve. Seriously. You might own better luck in a Christian Pro-Life group. Make haste.
The kids certainly do not benefit, but I find this interview slanted. What about choice?
What about those first mothers who legitimately WANTED to relinquish? It's not fair to utter that you know how they feel. They are allowed to make that choice. They are human beings, not statistics.
What about those "infertiles" who didn't dawdle for material possessions and corporate success to start families? What almost those who are just getting by, and have made many financial sacrifice in order to be a parent, just as a automatic parent might?
What if those same "infertiles" are not waiting for your children, but are instead adopting from the system, and yet still being call "baby snatchers"?
It works both ways, as I see it. We're all just show to each other, because we need someone to hate for our misery. I can't imagine showing so little respect to my or my daughter's first mothers by questioning their fertility, choices, or lifestyles (except when my daughter was directly impacted/abused) any more than I assume it's appropriate for us to start penalizing adoptive parents for wanting children, when we all know that they are, by and large, well-intentioned. Perfect parents? No, not necessarily, but neither are biological parents.
The problem, as I see it, is not either mother, or the child. The problem is the commodification of children, for which neither can be blamed. If we ALL have the best interest of kids at heart, I highly doubt that so many cruel words would be thrown around.
I also agree with Gypsy. We so occasionally mention men, though they are a part of the process. But, it's easier for us to attack each other, and distract from the real problem, isn't it? Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom
The adoption industry benefits from this competition, this "jealousy". Women are naturally jealous of one another and commonly will not get a long. We are competitve creatures who are allowing ourselves to be pitted against one another.
I find the entire adoption industry to be extremely sexist. I think we need another feminist revolution.
My point, who benefits from these wars of women on women?
Well, women who are afraid that their child will love his.her OTHER mother more.
Who dictates the language, the agenda, the lingo?
We all TRY, but we will never all agree.
Who is the recipient of the money?
The agencies, some times the relinquishing mother, the states.
Why are we not address together as women, the increase rate of infertility?
Because infertile women are shamed and those who sterilize themselves claim they are not infertile (because it's SOOO shameful).
Why are we not asking ourselves why women are encouraged to wait to start families?
Because we own convinced ourselves that we need to just look after ourselves. We';re told that if we "Piss away" our fertility, we could "Just adopt".
Why are children seen as a burden that will ruin their mother's energy until a "man"made set of criteria has been completed?
Children aren't the ones to blame, it's our actions that ruin our lives, it'consequences of our doings that become burden. Some mothers feel ruined (adopted ones too) because they decided to raise children.
Who is benefiting from these things?
Definitely not the kids!!
Who wrote the rules?
A bunch of foulable humans.
Why are women remaining pitted against other women?
Because women hold attaching other women.
-------
All HUMANS need to come together for the sake of children.
That means talking something like the tough issues that separate familes no matter how bad it reflects on the rest of the group. We involve to openly discuss how drugs, alcohol, crime, infertiliy, MONEY, entitlement and lack of parental involvement effects adoption or else it will NEVER redeploy.
Fight against these factors and fight against the need for adoption. Lets facade it, "Birthmoms" are assumed addicts or abusive, because too many are (1 is too many). Fight against invective, Fight against addiction and we will have little to no need for adoption. Then it will be a lot easier for individuals to see the plith of women who WERE NOT abusive or addicts and how adoption ISN'T always a win-win.
I reckon I was pretty innocent when I first came to Yahoo Answers. I asked about sending a communication to my son's bio mom. I got such great answers that I did not realize that as an adoptive mom, I am persona non grata around here. I started reading the post and was shocked at first with how these women be "talking" to each other and then I just get mad. And I started acting as poorly as I think some of you act.
First, permit me say that in our adoption expierence, our son's bio mom was not underaged or unschooled. She is a college graduate and is a social worker. I have 0 doubt that she did not know what she was getting into. Is that the case for adjectives bio mothers? No. I know that. I also never consider a "first mom" a slut or poor or any of the other names that get tossed around. I don't understand the anger toward bio mothers.
Neither do I comprehend it toward adoptive mothers. Not all adoptive mothers expect you to give them your "womb wet" infant, nor do they think you owe them your kid b/c you are poor or underaged and they are not.
Are some women desperate for babies? Yes. But, I sure hate to see them bullied on here when they ask a question. That is not support.
Sly, I have to articulate that I do feel like you are just as guilty here. You said the other daytime "People pi$$ away their fertility and then want a baby to feel complete". Was that supportive? If you own not walked a mile in that womans shoes, then you don't know why she is powerless to concieve. Why rub salt in the wound?
As far as in adoption, who benefits from Motherhood becoming a competitive event...not a soul.
My son has another mother. I respect that. I respect her. She simply did not want to parent him. That was her choice. If I was not the one chosen to parent him, it would enjoy been someone else. Either way, she was not keeping him. I hope that she loves him, not for me or for her but for him. He may want to gather round her one day and that is his birth right. He has a right to ask question and he has a right to answers.
Not all adoptive parents are "baby snatchers" or greedy. Do I reckon that I am the perfect adoptive parent? NO! In the course of his life I will stumble, I will fail at times. I will not other know the right things to say to him about his birth and adoption. I feel blessed by the oppurtunity to try. I grain blessed that I have him. All I want to be is a good mother. I love him.
We are not doing anyone any good anyone hateful to each other.
It matters not if the battle is woman agaiinst woman. Every individual MUST fight for what is right and honorable and that, my dear, is LIFE!
Well, considering I just read on the anti-adoption blogspot that "adoptive parent" and "adoptive family" should be replaced with "adoptive caregiver", it sounds close to some people are threatened by the idea that someone can be an ADOPTIVE MOTHER and still be valid.
ETA: Sly: http://antiadoption.blogspot.com/
According to the website, terms resembling "adoptive family" aren't used. And the proper term is "adopter" or "adoptive caregiver."
Answers: Women since the dawn of time have been at time of war with other women.mostly in competition for men..then secondly for children.
Women are their own worst enemy...and that's just the way any patriarchal society likes it to be. Keeps women as an underclass. So long as women are at period of war with other women.it is a huge distraction from the Cause of the War.Men in Power leading women around on leashes, close to puppies and dogs.
Best way to keep women under the Male Thumb...keep hold of women barefoot and pregnant...and if they can't get pregnant, devise a social engineering plan to ensure they get babies/children from other mothers. Then after huge amounts of female societal brainwashing (other women are substandard than, than you)..let the women come to believe...they thought these grand schemes adjectives up, all on their very own.
In the end it's adjectives about men, sex, mating, and procreation...and Powerful Men want to control it all! Many a man have become rich and powerful off the backs of women and children.the most vulnerable contained by any society...anywhere in the world.
When women take back their own womanly power and have compassion and a measure of empathy for their 'sisters'...maybe this War will ruin. But I know it won't happen anytime soon in my life time, that's for sure.
Has anyone not notice.in all these discussions about surrender, adoption, fertility and infertility.how left males are.even the mention of them? WHY? because women are so terribly busy blaming other women.distraction rules again.
***Yes, yes, I know there are a FEW males here...but that's only a handful here, and they are noticably lost elsewhere, unless it's on the subject of abortion.
ETA: ""Sly, I have to say that I do get the impression like you are just as guilty here. You said the other day "People pi$$ away their fertility and after want a baby to feel complete". Was that supportive? If you have not walk a mile in that womans shoes, then you don't know why she is unable to concieve. Why rub saline in the wound?""
Well let's look at this all the way around. Do you the human being I quoted above feel it is 'supportive' for those who adopt or are wishing to..to say "You spread your legs", Just because you give birth does not make you a mother", "You are just an egg donor", "Only you are responsible for your irresponsible behavior", "You should have be on birth control"...and the list is quite endless what abundant burfmothers here have been told, several times, by aparents and PAPs alike. Do you believe that those statements above are 'supportive' of a mother who surrendered a baby to adoption, for any explanation?? All types of assumptions are made about the natural mother...but we nmothers are to assume nothing roughly speaking the other side. Why is the subject of infertility off limits here...but not the fertility and actions of the instinctive mother? Source(s): I lived with a MAN for 43 years...I gave birth to 2 sons...I am the grandmother to 6 grandsons.So..NO.I am not a Man-Hater...I am not a Man-Appeaser! I have categorically learned to see thru male BS over the years! And quite a bit of womanly BS...as well!
Men wrote the rules within society and continue to. To pit women against women insures that we will have no one to turn to. In the terminate, men always stick together. The male dominated society remains intact and in control if women are delicate, alone, and stripped of dignity. I believe Naomi Wolfe touched on this in 'The Beauty Myth'.
You know I am glad that someone has the guts to ask these types of question. I felt that way when I decided to hand over my son up for adoption when I was 15. I was in the too young at heart category and decided that giving Conner up would be the best situation to benefit him. Of course when it came time to walk away it be hard and I had second thoughts. Now instead of the adoptive parents comforting me and reassuring me that I will/can be involved contained by his life. They screamed at not only me but my mother and blamed her for my conveyance in heart. I went through with it but you are right.who really benefits from the women-women period of war when it comes to children. Other than the children of course.
Outstanding post, SLY. I truly anticipate that. It's the part of you that I respect the most. Your ability to express an issue in a forth-right bearing, without all the emotional B/S.
"Why are women provoked to wait to start families?" I'm sure the reasons are massive, and varied. I think people should do what "works for them", as long as it does not "burden" others. In that statement, I'm focusing on personal responsibility. Too plentiful people AREN'T!! They just do as they feel, and low & behold a kid gets "made". THEN the arena of "how to deal" with that baby pops up. Pro Choice. Pro existence, blah, blah, blah. How about Pro-Responsibility? Why are people not held accountable for their egocentric indulgences?
Is this really a competition? No, it isn't. Are there "judgments" being made? Absolutely. If I "screw-up", it costs me something. It's all chunk of life. But when people commence swapping their "DNA", because it "feel good", WE are told it's none of our business? If the "product" is more people on Welfare, Hell yes, it's MY business. It's MY Tax dollars being spent to support someone who was too stupid, or too poor, or too irresponsible, or too "whatever"!! If THEY can't "support it", they shouldn't "create it"! So if they enjoy a choice to make, I guess you could say that I'm "Pro-choice". But there are the burdens of anyone labeled. Why should I be labeled? I had nothing to do with ANY ONES "choice". It's their choice to generate. As long as it doesn't "cost" ME, I really don't care what their "choice" IS. There are benefits, or consequences, to everything WE do as people. They carry their rewards, and their sorrows.
As to the Adoption Industry, it wants to be overhauled, reviewed, and restructured. I can't begin to address it as well as You CAN. I know that, as well as You do.
The lone Competition worth caring about, is in the spectator sport of life.
The better you live it, the better the rewards.
If you fail in duration, the penalties are harsh.
It's all just about the GAME, and how You play it.
Who benefits? Fat cats contained by the adoption industry. No one should own a mansion or drive a luxury car because they traffic humans, legally, or illegally.
It is supply vs. emergency, and so long as the supply is less than the demand, prime deals are cut to "find homes" for our flesh and blood.
I construe that as women we are fed many different things from birth about how we should hold ourselves, how and when to start a family connections, what "status" we must hold before starting a family... We need to numeral out for ourselves, without the voices of those who don't know our personal truths, when and how we want events in our lives to thieve place. We need to remove stigma from titles such as "low income" or "teen parent" and other harmful labels.
Infertility wishes to be dealt with on a one by one basis, as near are a plethora of causes, and just as many treatments.
I have a child at 21. I was working, but my partner was not. I was contained by college, but hadn't finished many classes. I decided to keep the child, and it took some time and great challenge to get myself to the point where I felt comfortable parenting, but it happen. I didn't want to wait until I was done with my schooling. I didn't want to dawdle until I was married. I wanted the child I was carrying. I be told to abort, to give her up, but I couldn't. I was on government aid for a while, but soon be able to give that up too, and get a great opportunity with great benefits. I was a single mother with 2 children by the time I be 23. There was a great amount of stigma, but I overcame. It can happen. I am no longer poor, uneducated or too childish to parent. I had the support of very few people surrounded by this, but if I can do this... I think many people can.
I disgust to think of women pitted against women in this, but I think we are pitted against one another because some women surface that other women use their fertility irresponsilbly. It is no one's business how I use my fertility, except mine, and whoever is there to finish the other 50% of conception. We need to stop seeing young, "poor" women as hopeless, and verbs together to aid them. Family preservation is what we should strive for. Not supplying those who want children with the children of those who they feel shouldn't raise them. Source(s): Adoptee, mother of 5
Related Questions: