Did you look resembling your Adopted mother?
And do you think that makes any difference to someone being a healthy or angry adoptee
No. I dont really look like my natural BM any. But, strangely enough both of them were redheads. AM is Irish.. BM is Northern Italian, Scottish and a dash of ..
But, I'm a spitting carving of grandpa in his youth. Christ, I almost fall out of my chair when I saw the photos myself.
"And do you cogitate that makes any difference to someone being a happy or angry adoptee"
It wouldn't cause a difference. But, it may well contribute to them feeling a bit like an outsider within that family; like in any house where someone doesn't look like their parents.
1-Other than that my mom and I are more or less the same height, we look absolutely nil alike.
2-I don't think it makes someone "angry" or "happy" (and I am getting seriously sick of those divisive terms getting thrown around) but I believe it is just one more thing to attach onto a person's adoption experience. I doubt anyone would cite it as the ultimate defining factor in their feelings going on for adoption, but I think it is a piece of the entire adoption experience.
Answers: Funnily enough, yes.
My mother and I are both tall, but my dad and I have intensely similar eyes, so people always thought that I got my largeness from my mother and my "big, green eyes" from my Dad. I also have many of my mother's mannerisms, and her snigger. I know it seems odd, but it's true. My mother is cute: She always said that I may not own gotten my green eyes from my dad, but I did get the twinkle in them from him. :P That always made me touch kind of special, and I'm not sure why!
I don't look much like my firstmother, except that we both have a birth spot on our shoulder that is apparently hereditary. I think I must look more resembling my birthfather, but I'm not the least bit interested in meeting him. My firstmom mentioned that I be quite long at birth, long fingers, long toes, long body, while she is quite short and stout. Without realizing it, she chose parents for me that would back up having similarities. Kind of weird.
Oh, and on a similar note, family think my daughter and I look alike, but I don't see it. She is far more beautiful than I. ;-) I know she walks plentifully like I do, and will likely also be tall as economically, but I think her mannerisms fool people into thinking she resembles me.
I don't caution. She's beautiful, and it is an honor for people to think we look alike. :) Source(s): Adoptee and (adoptive) mommy
Not looking anything like my a family did not trade name me an "angry adoptee", lol. And it's not just a "redhead thing". Its an adopted thing.
Not looking resembling your a family is just one of many distrustful aspects of adoption. Although in my case, I am glad I dont look like my a fam. Not a pretty crew.
We are nought alike, and that is a DNA thing, too. Intelligence, musical, sports, artistic abilities, food likes/dislikes, you pet name it, I was NOTHING like my A family.
Would I enjoy been a "happy adoptee" (whatever the he!! that means) if I was placed next to a family who were "just similar to me"? Nah...Id still be adopted, and Id still miss my first Mom. Source(s): happy happy gaiety joy
No. I didn't, I'm partially Chinese, half Caucasian (with really light skin and light brown fuzz, but other than coloring Asian) and my mother is Caucasian. I was a perfectly bullish adoptee, didn't think about it much as a child actually.
Hi Melissa, I am an adoptive mother of 2 young children and while I don't know if looks will play a significant role within whether or not they have positive or negative feelings almost adoption, I can certainly see how it may.
My daughter (5) was adopted from China and her daddy and I are white so unquestionably she does not look a thing like us. At the stage she is in right presently that seems to be more fascinating than upsetting. Though I am well aware that may loose change. We get a lot of attention when we are out and about and as she is pretty the ham, she relishes the attention. But again I would not be surprised if that also changes. Perhaps she will always appreciate the differences and embrace them... or, she could resent them as she just requirements to blend in and be like everyone else and not so obviously adopt. I do hope that whatever her feelings, she feels approaching she can talk to us about it.
As for our son (3) we adopted him from foster safekeeping and one of the reasons we were chosen is because of the resemblance (particularly with my husband). His "adoptedness" is not perceptible in the same way as his sister's. In certainty many who don't know us assume that we gave birth to him after adopting our daughter. I believe he enjoy a certain anonymity and has the luxury of telling others he is adopt or not where our daughter does not have that. Even if she doesn't say anything, as soon as we are see all together as a family, most would assume she was adopt.
There are so many layers in adoption (as you are perceptibly aware) and if looks do not play a factor in their feelings about it, afterwards perhaps other things will... or won't.
But as their parents we will always be here and will listen and I hope they believe that too. Source(s): Mommy of 2
No. Not at all. People would comment that we looked alike, but we would just give respectively other that 'look' and laugh our socks off (because we know how ridiculous it was to even articulate it)
Funny, I'm a fair skinned redhead amongst olive skinned dark haired Adoptive family too
My family has brunette's, redheads and blonds. Dark skin and massively fair skin. So my kids fit right into that mix.
As for her looking like me, when I'm out in public I'm recurrently told my eldest daughter looks like a bit like me. I smile because she doesn't. Not to me anyway, I'm not the deluded type of soul and I've never felt it was important to enjoy kids look like me. We're not from the same gene pool after all.
But my husband have the same national genetic background as my kids. German/Irish. The strong traits come out in the both of them as they do surrounded by my husband. All of them have dimples. When we meet up their first father, he could be brothers with my husband, especially when they smile. Its the German traits contained by them that stands out, they both have a strong bloodline in that area. (There is a little one picture of their adoptive paternal grandmother as a baby, my eldest daughter looks almost exactly like her within a picture at the same age. Its a spin out for sure, since none of the grandkids that are genetically related look one bit like her as a babies. I showed it her first mother, she thought it be a spin out too...)
Its one of the reasons we were chosen by my kids first mother, she thought my eldest daughter looks like my husband. We know its adjectives a coincidence, and I'm sure it will be a family joke in years to come between us.
My youngest adopted son looks a lot like me. The other 3 adopt children not as much but unless people are told they are adopted, no one would know by looks alone. I know so copious blended families today that it is not unusual to see children of the same parents who look very different from one another. I don't contemplate that usually makes a difference for the adoptee being happy or not except within certain rare circumstances where children discern they are being deprived of a cultural connection.
No. I don't look a item like my mother (she's white) I am black. I did look my adopted dad though (he was black). I don't assume it's important most kids don't even think about it. I never did until I saw this examine. Source(s): I'm Adopted.
No, I don't. I'm taller, bigger, and every piece of me is a different color. I don't remotely resemble my a-dad either, but because of my 'size' which was so much more strange-looking contained by a TINY a-family (I'm actually pretty normal sized... a little sweet but nothing extraordinary) people assumed I took after my a-dad just because he be also bigger than a-mom. *sigh*
Yes, it was a huge deal to (huge) me that I stuck out like an misshapen, grotesque, swollen, sore thumb in my very 'pretty', very petite little a-family. Not singular that, but my OLDER a-sis (bio to the APs) was the exact replica of her mother (my a-mother). As she got older, especially as a minor, she grew to resemble her father's mother to the very detail. It was so astonishing to me that I sat and stared at a photo of my a-grandmother within her youth for nearly two hours the first time I saw it -- there was my a-sis, perfectly (dare I read out NATURALLY?) represented in the face of a relative, in a photo taken 60 years until that time her birth. As much as I loved that grandmother, I loved her a little less after that (she was already departed by that time) because she looked so much like a person who had be so evil to me for most of my childhood. I have always felt guilty something like that because my grandmother never said one cross word to me or withheld/denied affection to me (her not-so-real-and-no-resemblance grandchild) while she was alive. I miss her so very much.
As much as I tried to retain my contempt and disgust for my own looks, once I reunited with my automatic families and received photos I could not -- in spite of my efforts. I if truth be told began to like, and eventually love, aspects of my physical self for the first time in my entire go. I love my n-families so much and could not hold anger or disgust for their appearances and, by extension, my own. I look so much like both my mother and my father's mother (just exactly as my older a-sis looks like hers) it is uncanny. I enjoy come to 'see' my size as well as my other traits as normal -- even attractive -- because I see them reflected within people who ARE attractive, lovely people. My n-grandmother and one aunt (Mom's sister) were lifeless before we reunited and I have only photos of them to see genetic mirroring. Still, it's awe-inspiring to see my own frontage as an infant, child, teenager, and adult reflected contained by those photos.
Well... I'm rambling on now. Did it make me an 'angry' adoptee that I didn't look similar to my a-family? No. It made me feel ugly, awkward, strange, grotesque... but it didn't make me angry. My a-parents abuse me -- THAT is what made me angry... at least that was the FIRST thing.
Take diligence! Source(s): 36 year old reunited, NORMAL-looking adoptee
I'm not adopt but I don't look a thing like anyone in my kith and kin. I'm sure they still love me. ;)
On the subject of redheads...my best friend, my 2 nephews, my 1 niece, and my 1 great-niece are all redheads. Since they be all raised in their organic families...they most assuredly did not feel like they didn't belong...as they adjectives knew where they 'inherited' their redhair from...such is not the case for populace who are adopted. Your natural mother's hair I am sure is not the singular reason she didn't feel 'like one of them'...some type of people dynamics were taking place that caused her to quality this way..I doubt it was solely her 'hair'.
My daughter stuck out like a Sore-Thumb surrounded by her afamily.but she fits quite nicely in her nfamily...she looks similar to everybody else and is a professional like many of the females in her nfamily!! Yes, looks, can be especially important, for many reasons...one justification being 'mirroring'.
Good for you that you had no issues being raise by an amother you looked nothing like. Others don't feel one and the same as you and is important to those who don't feel like you.
Have you thought of the possibility that you might look remarkably approaching your own natural mother?
hey i can only speak you have to be grateful bcoz at least they took care of you no event how they treated you. you don't have to like them but appreciate them for their good achievement.
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Why are here so masses relations waiting to adopt children/babies?
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Do you grain close to the baby/child you be since adoption, died?
No. I dont really look like my natural BM any. But, strangely enough both of them were redheads. AM is Irish.. BM is Northern Italian, Scottish and a dash of ..
But, I'm a spitting carving of grandpa in his youth. Christ, I almost fall out of my chair when I saw the photos myself.
"And do you cogitate that makes any difference to someone being a happy or angry adoptee"
It wouldn't cause a difference. But, it may well contribute to them feeling a bit like an outsider within that family; like in any house where someone doesn't look like their parents.
1-Other than that my mom and I are more or less the same height, we look absolutely nil alike.
2-I don't think it makes someone "angry" or "happy" (and I am getting seriously sick of those divisive terms getting thrown around) but I believe it is just one more thing to attach onto a person's adoption experience. I doubt anyone would cite it as the ultimate defining factor in their feelings going on for adoption, but I think it is a piece of the entire adoption experience.
Answers: Funnily enough, yes.
My mother and I are both tall, but my dad and I have intensely similar eyes, so people always thought that I got my largeness from my mother and my "big, green eyes" from my Dad. I also have many of my mother's mannerisms, and her snigger. I know it seems odd, but it's true. My mother is cute: She always said that I may not own gotten my green eyes from my dad, but I did get the twinkle in them from him. :P That always made me touch kind of special, and I'm not sure why!
I don't look much like my firstmother, except that we both have a birth spot on our shoulder that is apparently hereditary. I think I must look more resembling my birthfather, but I'm not the least bit interested in meeting him. My firstmom mentioned that I be quite long at birth, long fingers, long toes, long body, while she is quite short and stout. Without realizing it, she chose parents for me that would back up having similarities. Kind of weird.
Oh, and on a similar note, family think my daughter and I look alike, but I don't see it. She is far more beautiful than I. ;-) I know she walks plentifully like I do, and will likely also be tall as economically, but I think her mannerisms fool people into thinking she resembles me.
I don't caution. She's beautiful, and it is an honor for people to think we look alike. :) Source(s): Adoptee and (adoptive) mommy
Not looking anything like my a family did not trade name me an "angry adoptee", lol. And it's not just a "redhead thing". Its an adopted thing.
Not looking resembling your a family is just one of many distrustful aspects of adoption. Although in my case, I am glad I dont look like my a fam. Not a pretty crew.
We are nought alike, and that is a DNA thing, too. Intelligence, musical, sports, artistic abilities, food likes/dislikes, you pet name it, I was NOTHING like my A family.
Would I enjoy been a "happy adoptee" (whatever the he!! that means) if I was placed next to a family who were "just similar to me"? Nah...Id still be adopted, and Id still miss my first Mom. Source(s): happy happy gaiety joy
No. I didn't, I'm partially Chinese, half Caucasian (with really light skin and light brown fuzz, but other than coloring Asian) and my mother is Caucasian. I was a perfectly bullish adoptee, didn't think about it much as a child actually.
Hi Melissa, I am an adoptive mother of 2 young children and while I don't know if looks will play a significant role within whether or not they have positive or negative feelings almost adoption, I can certainly see how it may.
My daughter (5) was adopted from China and her daddy and I are white so unquestionably she does not look a thing like us. At the stage she is in right presently that seems to be more fascinating than upsetting. Though I am well aware that may loose change. We get a lot of attention when we are out and about and as she is pretty the ham, she relishes the attention. But again I would not be surprised if that also changes. Perhaps she will always appreciate the differences and embrace them... or, she could resent them as she just requirements to blend in and be like everyone else and not so obviously adopt. I do hope that whatever her feelings, she feels approaching she can talk to us about it.
As for our son (3) we adopted him from foster safekeeping and one of the reasons we were chosen is because of the resemblance (particularly with my husband). His "adoptedness" is not perceptible in the same way as his sister's. In certainty many who don't know us assume that we gave birth to him after adopting our daughter. I believe he enjoy a certain anonymity and has the luxury of telling others he is adopt or not where our daughter does not have that. Even if she doesn't say anything, as soon as we are see all together as a family, most would assume she was adopt.
There are so many layers in adoption (as you are perceptibly aware) and if looks do not play a factor in their feelings about it, afterwards perhaps other things will... or won't.
But as their parents we will always be here and will listen and I hope they believe that too. Source(s): Mommy of 2
No. Not at all. People would comment that we looked alike, but we would just give respectively other that 'look' and laugh our socks off (because we know how ridiculous it was to even articulate it)
Funny, I'm a fair skinned redhead amongst olive skinned dark haired Adoptive family too
My family has brunette's, redheads and blonds. Dark skin and massively fair skin. So my kids fit right into that mix.
As for her looking like me, when I'm out in public I'm recurrently told my eldest daughter looks like a bit like me. I smile because she doesn't. Not to me anyway, I'm not the deluded type of soul and I've never felt it was important to enjoy kids look like me. We're not from the same gene pool after all.
But my husband have the same national genetic background as my kids. German/Irish. The strong traits come out in the both of them as they do surrounded by my husband. All of them have dimples. When we meet up their first father, he could be brothers with my husband, especially when they smile. Its the German traits contained by them that stands out, they both have a strong bloodline in that area. (There is a little one picture of their adoptive paternal grandmother as a baby, my eldest daughter looks almost exactly like her within a picture at the same age. Its a spin out for sure, since none of the grandkids that are genetically related look one bit like her as a babies. I showed it her first mother, she thought it be a spin out too...)
Its one of the reasons we were chosen by my kids first mother, she thought my eldest daughter looks like my husband. We know its adjectives a coincidence, and I'm sure it will be a family joke in years to come between us.
My youngest adopted son looks a lot like me. The other 3 adopt children not as much but unless people are told they are adopted, no one would know by looks alone. I know so copious blended families today that it is not unusual to see children of the same parents who look very different from one another. I don't contemplate that usually makes a difference for the adoptee being happy or not except within certain rare circumstances where children discern they are being deprived of a cultural connection.
No. I don't look a item like my mother (she's white) I am black. I did look my adopted dad though (he was black). I don't assume it's important most kids don't even think about it. I never did until I saw this examine. Source(s): I'm Adopted.
No, I don't. I'm taller, bigger, and every piece of me is a different color. I don't remotely resemble my a-dad either, but because of my 'size' which was so much more strange-looking contained by a TINY a-family (I'm actually pretty normal sized... a little sweet but nothing extraordinary) people assumed I took after my a-dad just because he be also bigger than a-mom. *sigh*
Yes, it was a huge deal to (huge) me that I stuck out like an misshapen, grotesque, swollen, sore thumb in my very 'pretty', very petite little a-family. Not singular that, but my OLDER a-sis (bio to the APs) was the exact replica of her mother (my a-mother). As she got older, especially as a minor, she grew to resemble her father's mother to the very detail. It was so astonishing to me that I sat and stared at a photo of my a-grandmother within her youth for nearly two hours the first time I saw it -- there was my a-sis, perfectly (dare I read out NATURALLY?) represented in the face of a relative, in a photo taken 60 years until that time her birth. As much as I loved that grandmother, I loved her a little less after that (she was already departed by that time) because she looked so much like a person who had be so evil to me for most of my childhood. I have always felt guilty something like that because my grandmother never said one cross word to me or withheld/denied affection to me (her not-so-real-and-no-resemblance grandchild) while she was alive. I miss her so very much.
As much as I tried to retain my contempt and disgust for my own looks, once I reunited with my automatic families and received photos I could not -- in spite of my efforts. I if truth be told began to like, and eventually love, aspects of my physical self for the first time in my entire go. I love my n-families so much and could not hold anger or disgust for their appearances and, by extension, my own. I look so much like both my mother and my father's mother (just exactly as my older a-sis looks like hers) it is uncanny. I enjoy come to 'see' my size as well as my other traits as normal -- even attractive -- because I see them reflected within people who ARE attractive, lovely people. My n-grandmother and one aunt (Mom's sister) were lifeless before we reunited and I have only photos of them to see genetic mirroring. Still, it's awe-inspiring to see my own frontage as an infant, child, teenager, and adult reflected contained by those photos.
Well... I'm rambling on now. Did it make me an 'angry' adoptee that I didn't look similar to my a-family? No. It made me feel ugly, awkward, strange, grotesque... but it didn't make me angry. My a-parents abuse me -- THAT is what made me angry... at least that was the FIRST thing.
Take diligence! Source(s): 36 year old reunited, NORMAL-looking adoptee
I'm not adopt but I don't look a thing like anyone in my kith and kin. I'm sure they still love me. ;)
On the subject of redheads...my best friend, my 2 nephews, my 1 niece, and my 1 great-niece are all redheads. Since they be all raised in their organic families...they most assuredly did not feel like they didn't belong...as they adjectives knew where they 'inherited' their redhair from...such is not the case for populace who are adopted. Your natural mother's hair I am sure is not the singular reason she didn't feel 'like one of them'...some type of people dynamics were taking place that caused her to quality this way..I doubt it was solely her 'hair'.
My daughter stuck out like a Sore-Thumb surrounded by her afamily.but she fits quite nicely in her nfamily...she looks similar to everybody else and is a professional like many of the females in her nfamily!! Yes, looks, can be especially important, for many reasons...one justification being 'mirroring'.
Good for you that you had no issues being raise by an amother you looked nothing like. Others don't feel one and the same as you and is important to those who don't feel like you.
Have you thought of the possibility that you might look remarkably approaching your own natural mother?
hey i can only speak you have to be grateful bcoz at least they took care of you no event how they treated you. you don't have to like them but appreciate them for their good achievement.
Related Questions: