Feel so odd contained by my adopt family unit... sister?
I'm 19 and I've been adopted since I was a tot. My younger sister, who is my parents natural daughter just seems to deed like i dont exist. There has always be favouriism over her, but i suspose that natural seen as I'm not their natural daughter.
People misunderstand and articulate 'Oh sisters never get on at that age, its normal'... It's not that we don't get on, we never ever fight, we basically never talk and she doesn't even look at me. Even if i pass her on the stairs, she'll just stride past and look away, not even smile. I've walked past her when she's next to her friends in the street, i'll look towards her with a smile and she'll just look within the other direction like she's embarrassed of me. Some friends at college got me to sign up beside facebook, and one of the first people i sent a friend request to was her. I told her i had added her and she said 'ohh ok'. But afterwards she deleted me and has obviously blocked me a few days after that. When i do reach a deal to her she is polite and nice, but its obvious she doesn't see me as a sister.
It's her 18th birthday today, every thursday i sleep in quite delayed, about 12pm as I work late on a wednesday night. I get her some perfume which cost me almost lb60 and put it in a little gift pod with a card next to it on the kitchen table for her to open when she go down in the morning. I went down when i got up and she's already get up and gone out, hadn't opened her card or perfume. and ive just heard her come put money on home and go back out again... again, she'd just vanished it. It's right in the middle of the table, and it would be the first thing she see's when she goes surrounded by so it's not like she could miss it...
I feel so depressed :(
What should I do?
Talk it over with your parents. It is something you don't understand or deserve and wants an explanation. It could be shes just a little madam some sisters are.
Look, you nouns like a pretty nice person because you're putting in so much action with your sister, but if she wants to act embryonic and mean then leave her to it. She doesn't deserve your attention.
you should concentrate more with how you are going to go roughly your life than trying to be a sister, because you are not. no matter what you do, you are not really related. be beside or talk to people who have duplicate experience as you are going through. do not be depress because other people are bad. just verbs being you, i think you are a good soul.
maybe she'll grow out of it, though don't expect you'll have a connection similar to sisters have. well, wish you luck contained by life. find you own worth and be happy.
Maybe your sister is just resentful of you but I doubt that because I have a sister and she is just mean to me and neither of us be adopted lol.
You should try discussion to her about your life & then start asking her why is she doing what ever she is to you, & if that doesn`t work agree to it go. Don't worry about it, she will get the drift once she gets older.
stop her one day and sermon to her see how she is doing every day talk to her a little more
Ignore her, quit buying her things, act close to she doesn't exist. Do not acknowledge anything she does, enter the room, land a job, anything. she will do one of two things, be relieved that you are finally leaving her alone, or start seeking small tell from you eventually because she doesn't like being treated the way she have been treating you. If she does start to look for attention from you it is then your decision if you want to verbs to ignore her or ask what her problem with you has be. If she leaves it alone then you have your answer, she isn't interested in you so quit trying.
Wow - what do your Mum & Dad say?
report to her the reason why her parents adopted you
I would bluntly ask her if she has a problem with you. Be honest and start on about your feelings.
Maybe she's going through the 'weird' teenage stage also.
The solitary way you will find out why she's acting this way is to ASK her. Talk with your parents in the order of this also. It might not be related to adoption at all.
you can relate her how she makes you feel. You should ask her flat out why she is acting that way. If she keep on I wouldn't worry about her she sounds like a brat. Concentrate on your parents, friends and yourself. If she doesn't want to enjoy a relationship with you she is the one losing.
I'm sorry she is treating you that way. I'm also adopted and I never had any loving of relationship with my adoptive parent's natural daughter.
SHe and my amom had a special relationship and I be always the outsider looking in. They had a nouns I never understood until I met my first mom.
Since my a mom passed away 2 years ago, I have not seen or spoken to her and I really don't ever want to again.
I own met both of my bio sisters and we connected very well. Tomorrow I will meet my brother for the first time, but I can already make clear to we will hit it off just from the phone calls and e mail we have had.
You have tried to be a sister to her, if she won't adopt it, you can't make her. DOn't let it upset you anymore. You have friends who consideration about you and sometimes that is better than family. Source(s): developed adoptee/adoptive mom
Sometimes children feel weird when they enjoy a brother or sister who is adopted. She maybe feels that you're different from her. She may or may not know why you be adopted, and if you know maybe you can try to talk to her something like it. She may feel better then. Also, she may be worried about wise saying the wrong ting. I was adopted when I was 4 and come from a very broken background, which made people self-conscious as they never knew what to say to me. The other thing she may be worried something like is that now you're 19 you're old enough to capture in touch with your birth parents if you wnated to, so she may be worried that you may do that and leave her. As far as she's concerned (deep down) you're her sister, and if you contacted your birth parents she may judge you're leaving her, You really need to talk to her, and your parents. Maybe try have a family meeting, or discussing it over dinner or something. Also, try looking at photos of you and your sister as little girls, and if you used to be close explain that to her. Tell her that you're still her sister, even though you're adopted. Explain that you're not a bit different from her, and most of all tell her that you love her! This should reassure her that you mean what you say-so! Good luck!
It's her problem, not yours.
How very rude. Good job you don't share those rude genes :)
Take consideration of yourself and try to stop worrying about trying to please other people (quite common within adopted people)
Do you know any members of your natural relatives? It may help to see out relatives, you may 'click' with them - after all you're from equal gene pool!
Take care and don't let your sisters bratty behaviour draw from you down :) Source(s): American Adoptee in the UK
Yikes. She is a very rude person. She is not treating you even as politely as one would treat a stranger. You don't have to be "best friends" beside someone to be polite to that person and she isn't even being polite.
I too think the direct approach is best. Talk to her directly and if she truly doesn't want to be a element of your life, that is her loss.
I have a biological sister I enjoy no contact with. I feel sad in the order of that, but it is her choice. I didn't do anything to harm or offend her, she just doesn't appear to want a relationship.
Wishing you well.
Im sorry this must be hard for you. Especially since your doing your best to be a apposite sister. Obviously its her problem not yours if she is going to treat her own family like shlt then she have the problem you dont. I think you should be straight forward and say to her what is your problem. Good Luck Hun
Answers: Thanks for sharing this.
Actually I am against adoption because of cases like yours.
Adoption if it have to happen should be in extended families as it other used to be, before industrialisation!
There is no easy answer I am afraid.
Talk to your adopted parents and relate them how you feel but be open, and careful how to interpret their answers.
You nouns like you are very nice and if she has a problem beside you ask her about it and ask what her problem is with you. She might feel for a moment sad bc she is your adopted parents natural little one, and since you are in the family she might feel that adjectives of the attention that she is supposed to be getting is going to u. Im not saying that you being in the household is a bad thing but that just might be the means of access she is feeling. I hope i helped. :)
Related Questions:
Foster Care children-and adoption the best bearing according to some?
Adoption minus going to church?
Adoption Homestudy: What to expect?
People misunderstand and articulate 'Oh sisters never get on at that age, its normal'... It's not that we don't get on, we never ever fight, we basically never talk and she doesn't even look at me. Even if i pass her on the stairs, she'll just stride past and look away, not even smile. I've walked past her when she's next to her friends in the street, i'll look towards her with a smile and she'll just look within the other direction like she's embarrassed of me. Some friends at college got me to sign up beside facebook, and one of the first people i sent a friend request to was her. I told her i had added her and she said 'ohh ok'. But afterwards she deleted me and has obviously blocked me a few days after that. When i do reach a deal to her she is polite and nice, but its obvious she doesn't see me as a sister.
It's her 18th birthday today, every thursday i sleep in quite delayed, about 12pm as I work late on a wednesday night. I get her some perfume which cost me almost lb60 and put it in a little gift pod with a card next to it on the kitchen table for her to open when she go down in the morning. I went down when i got up and she's already get up and gone out, hadn't opened her card or perfume. and ive just heard her come put money on home and go back out again... again, she'd just vanished it. It's right in the middle of the table, and it would be the first thing she see's when she goes surrounded by so it's not like she could miss it...
I feel so depressed :(
What should I do?
Talk it over with your parents. It is something you don't understand or deserve and wants an explanation. It could be shes just a little madam some sisters are.
Look, you nouns like a pretty nice person because you're putting in so much action with your sister, but if she wants to act embryonic and mean then leave her to it. She doesn't deserve your attention.
you should concentrate more with how you are going to go roughly your life than trying to be a sister, because you are not. no matter what you do, you are not really related. be beside or talk to people who have duplicate experience as you are going through. do not be depress because other people are bad. just verbs being you, i think you are a good soul.
maybe she'll grow out of it, though don't expect you'll have a connection similar to sisters have. well, wish you luck contained by life. find you own worth and be happy.
Maybe your sister is just resentful of you but I doubt that because I have a sister and she is just mean to me and neither of us be adopted lol.
You should try discussion to her about your life & then start asking her why is she doing what ever she is to you, & if that doesn`t work agree to it go. Don't worry about it, she will get the drift once she gets older.
stop her one day and sermon to her see how she is doing every day talk to her a little more
Ignore her, quit buying her things, act close to she doesn't exist. Do not acknowledge anything she does, enter the room, land a job, anything. she will do one of two things, be relieved that you are finally leaving her alone, or start seeking small tell from you eventually because she doesn't like being treated the way she have been treating you. If she does start to look for attention from you it is then your decision if you want to verbs to ignore her or ask what her problem with you has be. If she leaves it alone then you have your answer, she isn't interested in you so quit trying.
Wow - what do your Mum & Dad say?
report to her the reason why her parents adopted you
I would bluntly ask her if she has a problem with you. Be honest and start on about your feelings.
Maybe she's going through the 'weird' teenage stage also.
The solitary way you will find out why she's acting this way is to ASK her. Talk with your parents in the order of this also. It might not be related to adoption at all.
you can relate her how she makes you feel. You should ask her flat out why she is acting that way. If she keep on I wouldn't worry about her she sounds like a brat. Concentrate on your parents, friends and yourself. If she doesn't want to enjoy a relationship with you she is the one losing.
I'm sorry she is treating you that way. I'm also adopted and I never had any loving of relationship with my adoptive parent's natural daughter.
SHe and my amom had a special relationship and I be always the outsider looking in. They had a nouns I never understood until I met my first mom.
Since my a mom passed away 2 years ago, I have not seen or spoken to her and I really don't ever want to again.
I own met both of my bio sisters and we connected very well. Tomorrow I will meet my brother for the first time, but I can already make clear to we will hit it off just from the phone calls and e mail we have had.
You have tried to be a sister to her, if she won't adopt it, you can't make her. DOn't let it upset you anymore. You have friends who consideration about you and sometimes that is better than family. Source(s): developed adoptee/adoptive mom
Sometimes children feel weird when they enjoy a brother or sister who is adopted. She maybe feels that you're different from her. She may or may not know why you be adopted, and if you know maybe you can try to talk to her something like it. She may feel better then. Also, she may be worried about wise saying the wrong ting. I was adopted when I was 4 and come from a very broken background, which made people self-conscious as they never knew what to say to me. The other thing she may be worried something like is that now you're 19 you're old enough to capture in touch with your birth parents if you wnated to, so she may be worried that you may do that and leave her. As far as she's concerned (deep down) you're her sister, and if you contacted your birth parents she may judge you're leaving her, You really need to talk to her, and your parents. Maybe try have a family meeting, or discussing it over dinner or something. Also, try looking at photos of you and your sister as little girls, and if you used to be close explain that to her. Tell her that you're still her sister, even though you're adopted. Explain that you're not a bit different from her, and most of all tell her that you love her! This should reassure her that you mean what you say-so! Good luck!
It's her problem, not yours.
How very rude. Good job you don't share those rude genes :)
Take consideration of yourself and try to stop worrying about trying to please other people (quite common within adopted people)
Do you know any members of your natural relatives? It may help to see out relatives, you may 'click' with them - after all you're from equal gene pool!
Take care and don't let your sisters bratty behaviour draw from you down :) Source(s): American Adoptee in the UK
Yikes. She is a very rude person. She is not treating you even as politely as one would treat a stranger. You don't have to be "best friends" beside someone to be polite to that person and she isn't even being polite.
I too think the direct approach is best. Talk to her directly and if she truly doesn't want to be a element of your life, that is her loss.
I have a biological sister I enjoy no contact with. I feel sad in the order of that, but it is her choice. I didn't do anything to harm or offend her, she just doesn't appear to want a relationship.
Wishing you well.
Im sorry this must be hard for you. Especially since your doing your best to be a apposite sister. Obviously its her problem not yours if she is going to treat her own family like shlt then she have the problem you dont. I think you should be straight forward and say to her what is your problem. Good Luck Hun
Answers: Thanks for sharing this.
Actually I am against adoption because of cases like yours.
Adoption if it have to happen should be in extended families as it other used to be, before industrialisation!
There is no easy answer I am afraid.
Talk to your adopted parents and relate them how you feel but be open, and careful how to interpret their answers.
You nouns like you are very nice and if she has a problem beside you ask her about it and ask what her problem is with you. She might feel for a moment sad bc she is your adopted parents natural little one, and since you are in the family she might feel that adjectives of the attention that she is supposed to be getting is going to u. Im not saying that you being in the household is a bad thing but that just might be the means of access she is feeling. I hope i helped. :)
Related Questions: