PLEASE HELP,are adopt children loved smaller number afterwards biological from a parent and child prospective please?
I KNOW LONG PLEASE READ.
I know that when you have a child you are emotionally attached to them from endorphins, I would love to have a child naturally but i enjoy EDS Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, it is a genetic disease in the joints that causes them to topple apart. I really want to have children but i don't want them to go though the physical or emotional spasm i go there every day. EDS prevents me from playing any sports except swimming and perfents me to do what i love, which is gymnastic. i blame my mom almost every sunshine because it came from my dad's side and he wasn't part of most my life any process. I really want children and even though im only 15 im considering adoption.
I can only answer this question from the perspective of a parent. I wasn't adopted myself, but I adopt a child, and I have bio ones too.
All I can say is, my first son (the adopted one), is the treasure of my heart and I love him more than my own energy. There's no difference between him and my biological children. I know it, they know it, and he knows it. It's always been that bearing. He and I have been tight as treebark ever since the first day we met, when he be 10 years old and I was 22. We were resembling two raindrops joining together on a windowpane.
I know it doesn't always happen similar to that, but it's not always that way even with biological children. You hold a rush of oxytocin when a baby is born and that's what makes you feel such overwhelming love right at that moment. But it wear off quickly, and then you're moved out to form a relationship with that child the old fashioned way. Fathers never bring that hormonal "rush" at all.
It makes no difference if you do not make the difference. If you believe that an adopted child have less value then a birth child an adopt child will have less value to you. If you believe your child regardless of who give birth to her has infinite value than you will love them no differently.
I am both adopted and own 2 adopted children, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was loved, maybe even more than some biological children are. Also my husband and I love our 2 children, close to they are our own. You know why, because they are. I know that there may be some adoptees that have felt that they weren't loved, and for that I am so sorry. One time when I first met my hubby, his sister said something to me that really shows ignorance when it comes to adoption. She said "you cannot possibly know real love, because you were adopted." This be and will be the same response I give to everyone who even thinks it impossible. ''My birth mom loved me more than anything to be capable of carry me to term , and place me for adoption. The birth moms of our 2 children, loved them very much, or they would own aborted them". For those who say that abortion is the opposite of abortion. Ask my children's birth moms and they would make clear to you- "yes it is" They could not raise their babies at all, and loved them enough to place. My mom and dad raise me with love, and we have raised our 2 beside love as well. I am so sorry that you have this disease. When you get elder, consider adopting. you will love as your own.
EDIT- how sad. It does not normally brand name me upset that I get thumbs down, but when someone actually HAS FELT LOVED as an adoptee, why do people hold to to make it like we are in denial- I AM NOT
My mom had my sister and than adopt me. If you ask her there is no diffrence. No she does not love one of us better than the other. I have always be loved as much as my sister. That is silly if people do that. Once you place a kid in your arms and are told its yours you should love it no matter what. As my mom say my sister was born from her body and I was born from her heart.
I assure you my adopted daughter is loved as much as my sons and know that and BRAGS about that too. She is 6' 5' tall and takes no bull from anyone. She is a lovely young-looking lady and we love her with no reservations. We have met her bio brother and approaching him very much too--the sister is something else--according to my daughter. We are blessed. I couldn't love her any more than I do--and she knows that too.
I have 7 kids--1 biological and 6 adopted. You can unambiguously love adopted kids as much as biological kids. Source(s): Personal experience
From the perspective of an adoptee... Yes. I be adopted into a family that already had one adopt (the oldest) and one bio (the second) child. My a-parents only love their own child unconditionally. I have had to WORK for and EARN their love -- adjectives my life -- and I still fell short. I was abused in my adoptive home as be my adopted brother and sister. My NON-ADOPTED sister (their only bio-child) is the ONE child they NEVER abused.
Can an adopted and biological child both receive love from adoptive parents? Yes. Can adoptive parents love both biological and adopt children unconditionally? Yes. Is is the SAME? Absolutely not. It is not possible.
~Take care~ Source(s): Reunited adult adoptee and social worker who finally experienced receiving unconditional love FROM an full-size for the first time as an adult.
You have need of to stop blaming your mom everyday. No one is allowed to choose which genes they pass on to their children. I'm sure if she could have chosen for you to have a existence free of EDS, she would.
Blood isn't everything; I'm sure you could love an adopted child merely as much as a biological one.
Yes, completely.
Sometimes they're preferred to the bios, they're the special favourite.
loving parents you live next to just give you a start its all up to you after that, return the love they bequeath you and move on!!11
I can't imagine loving a child more then I love Lily. She is mine biologically, but her father raped me. I don't know if it would be different for an adoptive kid.
Answers: I don't know about endorphins being a bond. I thought endorphins we're 'positive hormone.' Something a person gives off from self very positive and from lots of exercise.
Love isn't science, I find the concept of love and scientific theories about it clash big time and when it comes to how bonds are created between humans. Emotions is what drives those things. If you discern you can love a child not genetically your own then look into adoption. If you have doubts (I mean serious doubts,) Then mortal an adoptive parent may not be for you. At least for now, especially when you meantioned that kind of time frame, attitudes and concept can change greatly in that time.
A new adoptive parent can also produce like hormones because of the happiness of finally becoming a parent can produce them ten fold. I understand what you're saying roughly a woman giving birth (and the father would too, from being in a happy moment beside her.) Its just not exclusive.
I must have given up thousands of endorphins the day I become an adoptive mum! People commented about how different we looked and our daughter responded to us straight away when we met her for the first time...so YES!! I love my kids as my own. Why wouldn't I...
Sorry to hear about your illness.
All the best for your adjectives!
I can only partial answer this question because I hold never been able to have children of my own, my own body will not convey life, I also have the inability to product usable eggs. I love my kids with adjectives of my heart, the love of my adopted children is the only love I know. As for blaming your mom, I think you involve counseling and you need to get over this anger over your disease. I'm sure your mom didn't have you intentionally of late to pass down this disorder. Also don't close the door on having children of your own, by the time your ready hopefully we own made more progress in gene selection, then you will own the technology at your disposal to keep this gene from being passed down. Source(s): adoptive mother of 3
Nope. I have both bio and adopt kids and I can tell you that there is not one bit of difference in my heart for my kids. I would die for any of them. Now it wasn't this instrument from the 1st moment I met our 2 adopted kids...I'm keeping it real here...it did take me a few months to REALLY bond next to them and attach to them (they were 2 yrs and nearly 5 yrs when they came home) but the love was nearby and starting from that first meeting and it just kept on blossoming. Don't worry...in the future if you do decide to adopt, you will love your child with all of your heart and soul. It doesn't concern if they came from your womb, they will still be in your heart! Source(s): Me! An adoptive mom hoping to adopt 1 more time.
Everyone and every adoption is different. As have been both a bio parent and an adoptive parent (currently sitting on the bed while my two adopted sons watch a Disney movie subsequent to me) I feel every bit as close to my adoptive children as I did me biological children. They are MY children.
And I know many adoptive families and within every case, the adoptive children are loved just as much as the biological children (an in one crust, the adoptive child is the obvious 'favorite' child).
But, I know there are cases where this is not true, and I sure within will be some answers from people who experienced adoptions where they never feel part of the family. If you adopt, it is up to you to adopt in a responsible road and love the child.
There is NO way you can love your adopted kid, as much as your bio kid. Sorry can't start. As for the fact you blame your mother for your short coming is out of line, crazy and makes no sense. Have your own kids.
As an adoptee, I can say that my adoptive parents loved me, my brother, who was also adopt, and my sister, who was their biological child equally. BUT- it is a different kind of love than they have next to our sister, their bio kid. How can it be the same?
Our sister grew inside of our mother for 9 months. She is physically, spiritually and genetically part of them. It is medical fact that a newborn infant is bonded to their first Mother. Its the strongest bond of disposition.
My brother and I were strangers to our parents when we were placed with them. Yes, we bonded to them next, but it is impossible to ever have a bond like that of a biological child.
If at all possible, own your own children. Its an experience no one should miss out on. Source(s): being adopted
I look at it like this I LOVE kids babies and all ages. nieces nephews cusins neighbors strangers etc. To me its a human and needs love charitable for and the chance to live life, I would love to adopt myself but need more room. If I did though I would love for it to be a moment or two girl from India since it would be easy for me to get one even if I was single I could. Over here having a girl is like bad luck resembling it is in china. China and USA are harder to adopt from. I would love to have my own kids as well though but I wouldn't treat any of them differently biologic or adotped.
heather
I adopted five, all almost 7 days old. The oldest was 10 years of age, when I found out I was pregnant. When our youngest daughter be born, I felt no different than when I held that 7 day old gorgeous baby in my arms - and that is how it have been, for the last 44 years.
NO! It does not, or should I say SHOULD not, perceive any different between giving birth to a child than adopting a child. It made no difference to me, but after reading this section for a while now, I have a feeling so saddened that some adopted children do not feel they were treated equally surrounded by this connction.
It is according to what is in your heart. If "blood" makes no difference to you, and you can hold a child in your arms and get the impression such unconditional love - then you will feel no difference. IF you feel you are "missing" something by not giving birth yourself, consequently I sincerely suggest you do not adopt.
A child wants unconditional love, attention, compassion, caring and will only grow up to grain loved, if they are IMMEDIATELY given such love.
Blame will not get you anywhere. How could your mother know that you would get ill. Acceptance, consideration and love, will get you further in your own life, if you vary your thinking on this subject.
Hopefully, you have time to see things differently and then, when you are sense good about your own life, you will be capable of love and accept a child that you do not give birth to, as I did.
No, adopted children aren't loved less than biological children - at least not where on earth sane and caring parents are concerned.
Biology is irrelevant when it comes to love.
I am quite closer beside my adopted son than my biological one, even though I love my bio one to pieces. My adopted son wants more hugs, physical contact, and my bio son have always been quiet and independent.
I have my bio son when I was 22 and hadn't planned getting pregnant, and was on the pill, and married. My husband left the morning I found out I was pregnant and I didn't see him again until our son was 17.
If you feel you wouldn't love an adopt child as much, then I wouldn't adopt. Somehow though, I feel that I appreciate children even more because I did give birth once, but don't adopt until you're mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially competent to, and it makes being a parent easier.
Good luck on a cure on your disease, and talk to a genetic counselor when you grasp older. Since you have a genetic condition, when you are sexually active, it will be much more basic than normal to use a condom as well as a prescription type of birth control, available free at a health bureau.
It is not your moms fault please do not blame her.You can love any child as your own if the love is nearby.You are only 15 and really you should not be worried about this right now.Focus on yourself and everything else will leak in to place.
Related Questions:
What do you ruminate of this program?
How can I be unadopted? I am miserable?
Possibly pregnant or pills.?
I know that when you have a child you are emotionally attached to them from endorphins, I would love to have a child naturally but i enjoy EDS Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, it is a genetic disease in the joints that causes them to topple apart. I really want to have children but i don't want them to go though the physical or emotional spasm i go there every day. EDS prevents me from playing any sports except swimming and perfents me to do what i love, which is gymnastic. i blame my mom almost every sunshine because it came from my dad's side and he wasn't part of most my life any process. I really want children and even though im only 15 im considering adoption.
I can only answer this question from the perspective of a parent. I wasn't adopted myself, but I adopt a child, and I have bio ones too.
All I can say is, my first son (the adopted one), is the treasure of my heart and I love him more than my own energy. There's no difference between him and my biological children. I know it, they know it, and he knows it. It's always been that bearing. He and I have been tight as treebark ever since the first day we met, when he be 10 years old and I was 22. We were resembling two raindrops joining together on a windowpane.
I know it doesn't always happen similar to that, but it's not always that way even with biological children. You hold a rush of oxytocin when a baby is born and that's what makes you feel such overwhelming love right at that moment. But it wear off quickly, and then you're moved out to form a relationship with that child the old fashioned way. Fathers never bring that hormonal "rush" at all.
It makes no difference if you do not make the difference. If you believe that an adopted child have less value then a birth child an adopt child will have less value to you. If you believe your child regardless of who give birth to her has infinite value than you will love them no differently.
I am both adopted and own 2 adopted children, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was loved, maybe even more than some biological children are. Also my husband and I love our 2 children, close to they are our own. You know why, because they are. I know that there may be some adoptees that have felt that they weren't loved, and for that I am so sorry. One time when I first met my hubby, his sister said something to me that really shows ignorance when it comes to adoption. She said "you cannot possibly know real love, because you were adopted." This be and will be the same response I give to everyone who even thinks it impossible. ''My birth mom loved me more than anything to be capable of carry me to term , and place me for adoption. The birth moms of our 2 children, loved them very much, or they would own aborted them". For those who say that abortion is the opposite of abortion. Ask my children's birth moms and they would make clear to you- "yes it is" They could not raise their babies at all, and loved them enough to place. My mom and dad raise me with love, and we have raised our 2 beside love as well. I am so sorry that you have this disease. When you get elder, consider adopting. you will love as your own.
EDIT- how sad. It does not normally brand name me upset that I get thumbs down, but when someone actually HAS FELT LOVED as an adoptee, why do people hold to to make it like we are in denial- I AM NOT
My mom had my sister and than adopt me. If you ask her there is no diffrence. No she does not love one of us better than the other. I have always be loved as much as my sister. That is silly if people do that. Once you place a kid in your arms and are told its yours you should love it no matter what. As my mom say my sister was born from her body and I was born from her heart.
I assure you my adopted daughter is loved as much as my sons and know that and BRAGS about that too. She is 6' 5' tall and takes no bull from anyone. She is a lovely young-looking lady and we love her with no reservations. We have met her bio brother and approaching him very much too--the sister is something else--according to my daughter. We are blessed. I couldn't love her any more than I do--and she knows that too.
I have 7 kids--1 biological and 6 adopted. You can unambiguously love adopted kids as much as biological kids. Source(s): Personal experience
From the perspective of an adoptee... Yes. I be adopted into a family that already had one adopt (the oldest) and one bio (the second) child. My a-parents only love their own child unconditionally. I have had to WORK for and EARN their love -- adjectives my life -- and I still fell short. I was abused in my adoptive home as be my adopted brother and sister. My NON-ADOPTED sister (their only bio-child) is the ONE child they NEVER abused.
Can an adopted and biological child both receive love from adoptive parents? Yes. Can adoptive parents love both biological and adopt children unconditionally? Yes. Is is the SAME? Absolutely not. It is not possible.
~Take care~ Source(s): Reunited adult adoptee and social worker who finally experienced receiving unconditional love FROM an full-size for the first time as an adult.
You have need of to stop blaming your mom everyday. No one is allowed to choose which genes they pass on to their children. I'm sure if she could have chosen for you to have a existence free of EDS, she would.
Blood isn't everything; I'm sure you could love an adopted child merely as much as a biological one.
Yes, completely.
Sometimes they're preferred to the bios, they're the special favourite.
loving parents you live next to just give you a start its all up to you after that, return the love they bequeath you and move on!!11
I can't imagine loving a child more then I love Lily. She is mine biologically, but her father raped me. I don't know if it would be different for an adoptive kid.
Answers: I don't know about endorphins being a bond. I thought endorphins we're 'positive hormone.' Something a person gives off from self very positive and from lots of exercise.
Love isn't science, I find the concept of love and scientific theories about it clash big time and when it comes to how bonds are created between humans. Emotions is what drives those things. If you discern you can love a child not genetically your own then look into adoption. If you have doubts (I mean serious doubts,) Then mortal an adoptive parent may not be for you. At least for now, especially when you meantioned that kind of time frame, attitudes and concept can change greatly in that time.
A new adoptive parent can also produce like hormones because of the happiness of finally becoming a parent can produce them ten fold. I understand what you're saying roughly a woman giving birth (and the father would too, from being in a happy moment beside her.) Its just not exclusive.
I must have given up thousands of endorphins the day I become an adoptive mum! People commented about how different we looked and our daughter responded to us straight away when we met her for the first time...so YES!! I love my kids as my own. Why wouldn't I...
Sorry to hear about your illness.
All the best for your adjectives!
I can only partial answer this question because I hold never been able to have children of my own, my own body will not convey life, I also have the inability to product usable eggs. I love my kids with adjectives of my heart, the love of my adopted children is the only love I know. As for blaming your mom, I think you involve counseling and you need to get over this anger over your disease. I'm sure your mom didn't have you intentionally of late to pass down this disorder. Also don't close the door on having children of your own, by the time your ready hopefully we own made more progress in gene selection, then you will own the technology at your disposal to keep this gene from being passed down. Source(s): adoptive mother of 3
Nope. I have both bio and adopt kids and I can tell you that there is not one bit of difference in my heart for my kids. I would die for any of them. Now it wasn't this instrument from the 1st moment I met our 2 adopted kids...I'm keeping it real here...it did take me a few months to REALLY bond next to them and attach to them (they were 2 yrs and nearly 5 yrs when they came home) but the love was nearby and starting from that first meeting and it just kept on blossoming. Don't worry...in the future if you do decide to adopt, you will love your child with all of your heart and soul. It doesn't concern if they came from your womb, they will still be in your heart! Source(s): Me! An adoptive mom hoping to adopt 1 more time.
Everyone and every adoption is different. As have been both a bio parent and an adoptive parent (currently sitting on the bed while my two adopted sons watch a Disney movie subsequent to me) I feel every bit as close to my adoptive children as I did me biological children. They are MY children.
And I know many adoptive families and within every case, the adoptive children are loved just as much as the biological children (an in one crust, the adoptive child is the obvious 'favorite' child).
But, I know there are cases where this is not true, and I sure within will be some answers from people who experienced adoptions where they never feel part of the family. If you adopt, it is up to you to adopt in a responsible road and love the child.
There is NO way you can love your adopted kid, as much as your bio kid. Sorry can't start. As for the fact you blame your mother for your short coming is out of line, crazy and makes no sense. Have your own kids.
As an adoptee, I can say that my adoptive parents loved me, my brother, who was also adopt, and my sister, who was their biological child equally. BUT- it is a different kind of love than they have next to our sister, their bio kid. How can it be the same?
Our sister grew inside of our mother for 9 months. She is physically, spiritually and genetically part of them. It is medical fact that a newborn infant is bonded to their first Mother. Its the strongest bond of disposition.
My brother and I were strangers to our parents when we were placed with them. Yes, we bonded to them next, but it is impossible to ever have a bond like that of a biological child.
If at all possible, own your own children. Its an experience no one should miss out on. Source(s): being adopted
I look at it like this I LOVE kids babies and all ages. nieces nephews cusins neighbors strangers etc. To me its a human and needs love charitable for and the chance to live life, I would love to adopt myself but need more room. If I did though I would love for it to be a moment or two girl from India since it would be easy for me to get one even if I was single I could. Over here having a girl is like bad luck resembling it is in china. China and USA are harder to adopt from. I would love to have my own kids as well though but I wouldn't treat any of them differently biologic or adotped.
heather
I adopted five, all almost 7 days old. The oldest was 10 years of age, when I found out I was pregnant. When our youngest daughter be born, I felt no different than when I held that 7 day old gorgeous baby in my arms - and that is how it have been, for the last 44 years.
NO! It does not, or should I say SHOULD not, perceive any different between giving birth to a child than adopting a child. It made no difference to me, but after reading this section for a while now, I have a feeling so saddened that some adopted children do not feel they were treated equally surrounded by this connction.
It is according to what is in your heart. If "blood" makes no difference to you, and you can hold a child in your arms and get the impression such unconditional love - then you will feel no difference. IF you feel you are "missing" something by not giving birth yourself, consequently I sincerely suggest you do not adopt.
A child wants unconditional love, attention, compassion, caring and will only grow up to grain loved, if they are IMMEDIATELY given such love.
Blame will not get you anywhere. How could your mother know that you would get ill. Acceptance, consideration and love, will get you further in your own life, if you vary your thinking on this subject.
Hopefully, you have time to see things differently and then, when you are sense good about your own life, you will be capable of love and accept a child that you do not give birth to, as I did.
No, adopted children aren't loved less than biological children - at least not where on earth sane and caring parents are concerned.
Biology is irrelevant when it comes to love.
I am quite closer beside my adopted son than my biological one, even though I love my bio one to pieces. My adopted son wants more hugs, physical contact, and my bio son have always been quiet and independent.
I have my bio son when I was 22 and hadn't planned getting pregnant, and was on the pill, and married. My husband left the morning I found out I was pregnant and I didn't see him again until our son was 17.
If you feel you wouldn't love an adopt child as much, then I wouldn't adopt. Somehow though, I feel that I appreciate children even more because I did give birth once, but don't adopt until you're mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially competent to, and it makes being a parent easier.
Good luck on a cure on your disease, and talk to a genetic counselor when you grasp older. Since you have a genetic condition, when you are sexually active, it will be much more basic than normal to use a condom as well as a prescription type of birth control, available free at a health bureau.
It is not your moms fault please do not blame her.You can love any child as your own if the love is nearby.You are only 15 and really you should not be worried about this right now.Focus on yourself and everything else will leak in to place.
Related Questions: