What do you mull over of my lyrics/poems. Also, what should I designation them?
This is the first one.
I have a monster inside my head.
Wake him up, you could be dead.
I deem about things I don't wanna see.
I think about things that even Satan himself wouldn't want to be.
Not other a troubled mind.
You did this to me, can't you see?
If not, you're essentially blind.
You think this is what I want to be?
You all think you can run my life span.
You can't even run your own.
By doing this you're just causing strife.
My true talents will in a minute never be shown.
Sometimes I wish I would die.
Laying in bed for countless hours wondering why I even try.
Trying hard, oh so concrete not to cry.
Telling you I don't care, that would be just another lie.
______________________________________…
Second one is.
Ever wondered what the eyes of a assassin look like? So dark and mysterious. A lit with flames, full of hate. Inner madness growing far to rapidly. Not fit for this world. Soul's as black as a cold Winter's night. Live enthusiasm in the wrong for far too long, now there's no time to change.
______________________________________…
Poem 1: I wrote that just about a month ago when I was feeling down in the dumps. It reflect me.
Poem 2: It's not even close to being finished yet. I just thought of that sector while I was taking a dump a few weeks ago :P
Damn
That first poem, I feel like that so much, I wish i could write stuff similar to that
Okay now for names i think the first one should be call "the monster within" or "see what i see"
The second one could be called "through the eyes of a killer" or "eyes of a killer"
The first poem sounds like lyrics from a heavy metal song. I similar to lines 9 and 10 of that one especially, and it's mostly about people driving you crazy, so I would name it "intervening destruction" or "aid to madness". The second is interesting, I would baptize it "Murderous intent" or "The eyes of a killer".
I'd call the first "You Think" or "Inside Me, Not For You"
The Second, i'm not sure.
These are completely well thought out though. I like them!
Nice Personification.
I would name them -
1. The Empty Mind
2. The Cold Eyes
Answers: 1. I Sold My Soul to the Devil
2. Play With Fire And You Get Burned
Just suggestions.
I really hope you have that Copy Righted. If i required to, i could copy and paste that, put music behind it, and get tons of money for a Number 1. :/
They're really right. Just please, be careful with your lyrics/poems. Anyone can steel them.
EDIT: Glad you're being mean. They're great by the way :)
;] Source(s): Musician/songwriter.
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I have a monster inside my head.
Wake him up, you could be dead.
I deem about things I don't wanna see.
I think about things that even Satan himself wouldn't want to be.
Not other a troubled mind.
You did this to me, can't you see?
If not, you're essentially blind.
You think this is what I want to be?
You all think you can run my life span.
You can't even run your own.
By doing this you're just causing strife.
My true talents will in a minute never be shown.
Sometimes I wish I would die.
Laying in bed for countless hours wondering why I even try.
Trying hard, oh so concrete not to cry.
Telling you I don't care, that would be just another lie.
______________________________________…
Second one is.
Ever wondered what the eyes of a assassin look like? So dark and mysterious. A lit with flames, full of hate. Inner madness growing far to rapidly. Not fit for this world. Soul's as black as a cold Winter's night. Live enthusiasm in the wrong for far too long, now there's no time to change.
______________________________________…
Poem 1: I wrote that just about a month ago when I was feeling down in the dumps. It reflect me.
Poem 2: It's not even close to being finished yet. I just thought of that sector while I was taking a dump a few weeks ago :P
Damn
That first poem, I feel like that so much, I wish i could write stuff similar to that
Okay now for names i think the first one should be call "the monster within" or "see what i see"
The second one could be called "through the eyes of a killer" or "eyes of a killer"
The first poem sounds like lyrics from a heavy metal song. I similar to lines 9 and 10 of that one especially, and it's mostly about people driving you crazy, so I would name it "intervening destruction" or "aid to madness". The second is interesting, I would baptize it "Murderous intent" or "The eyes of a killer".
I'd call the first "You Think" or "Inside Me, Not For You"
The Second, i'm not sure.
These are completely well thought out though. I like them!
Nice Personification.
I would name them -
1. The Empty Mind
2. The Cold Eyes
Answers: 1. I Sold My Soul to the Devil
2. Play With Fire And You Get Burned
Just suggestions.
I really hope you have that Copy Righted. If i required to, i could copy and paste that, put music behind it, and get tons of money for a Number 1. :/
They're really right. Just please, be careful with your lyrics/poems. Anyone can steel them.
EDIT: Glad you're being mean. They're great by the way :)
;] Source(s): Musician/songwriter.
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